How do you tell your decision-making partners what you need?

1 Identify your needs

Before you can tell your decision-making partners what you need, you need to identify your own needs first. What are your goals, priorities, constraints, and preferences for the decision? What information, resources, support, or feedback do you require? How do you measure the success or impact of the decision? Be clear and specific about your needs, and avoid vague or unrealistic requests. You can use a framework such as SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) to help you define your needs.

2 Explain your rationale

Once you have identified your needs, you need to explain your rationale to your decision-making partners. Why do you need what you need? How does it relate to the decision problem, criteria, or alternatives? How does it benefit the decision outcome, process, or relationship? Provide evidence, examples, or data to support your needs, and show how they align with the common objectives or values of the decision-making group. You can use a technique such as STAR (Situation, Task, Action, and Result) to help you structure your rationale.

3 Listen to their needs

Telling your decision-making partners what you need is not a one-way communication. You also need to listen to their needs, and understand their perspectives, interests, and concerns. How do they view the decision problem, criteria, or alternatives? What are their goals, priorities, constraints, and preferences? What information, resources, support, or feedback do they require? How do they measure the success or impact of the decision? Be respectful and empathetic, and avoid interrupting, judging, or dismissing their needs. You can use a skill such as active listening to help you listen to their needs.

4 Negotiate and compromise

After you have told and listened to your decision-making partners' needs, you may find that some of them are compatible, complementary, or mutually beneficial. In that case, you can agree on those needs, and move on to the next steps of the decision-making process. However, you may also find that some of them are conflicting, competing, or incompatible. In that case, you need to negotiate and compromise with your decision-making partners, and find a solution that meets most or all of the needs of the group. You can use a strategy such as win-win negotiation to help you negotiate and compromise.

5 Confirm and document

Finally, you need to confirm and document your needs and your decision-making partners' needs, and how they have been addressed or resolved in the decision-making process. This will help you avoid misunderstandings, confusion, or disputes later on, and ensure that everyone is on the same page and committed to the decision. You can use a tool such as a decision log, a memorandum of understanding, or a contract to help you confirm and document your needs.

6 Review and evaluate

As a bonus tip, you can also review and evaluate your needs and your decision-making partners' needs, and how they have influenced or affected the decision outcome, process, or relationship. This will help you learn from your experience, and improve your decision-making communication skills for the future. You can use a method such as a feedback loop, a debrief, or a survey to help you review and evaluate your needs.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?