What do you do if your networking and relationship-building skills need improvement?

Set Clear Goals: Define specific goals for your networking efforts, such as expanding your professional network, establishing new partnerships, or seeking career opportunities. Having clear objectives will help guide your networking activities. Identify Target Contacts: Identify individuals or groups within your industry or field whom you would like to connect with. Research potential contacts through professional networks, social media platforms, industry events, and alumni associations. Attend Networking Events: Attend industry conferences, seminars, workshops, and networking events to meet new people and expand your network. Prepare an elevator pitch introducing yourself and be proactive in initiating conversations with others.

Be intentional, prioritize building relationships intentionally, nurture connections, give relationships time to grow and develop. Develop interpersonal skills, understand perspectives, cultivate empathy by actively listening, respect and compassion. Maintain authenticity in your interactions. Lastly, seek opportunities to network – but networking and relationship-building should be more about quality rather than quantity.

If your your networking and relationship-building skills need improvement, the first step is to acknowledge that there's room for growth. Here are some strategies you can employ: a) Assess Your Current Skills: Take a moment to reflect on your current networking and relationship-building abilities. What are your strengths? Where do you struggle? Self-awareness is the starting point for any personal development. b) Set Specific Goals: Determine what you want to achieve with your networking efforts. Are you looking to make new professional connections, find a mentor, or learn about new opportunities? Having clear goals will guide your actions.

This is something that requires intentionality. Nobody is going to just offer their critique of your networking and relationship-building skills. It tends to be a very personal thing, and emotions can be triggered. Instead, reach out and ask someone whose skills you've seen and respect for specific feedback in a safe space.

Self-reflection: Reflect on past interactions and relationships. Consider what went well and what could have been improved. Honest evaluation is crucial for identifying areas of weakness. Seek Feedback: Ask for feedback from colleagues, mentors, or friends regarding your communication style and interpersonal skills. Constructive criticism can provide valuable insights.

I often feel a bit uncomfortable in networking situations myself. A strategy I used is to 1) breathe when I feel anxious and 2) have 3 go-to questions at my fingertips to ask that are open-ended and get the other person talking. When I use these strategies, things hum and I always find my footing.

Educate Yourself: Read books and articles on networking and relationship-building. Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone" is an excellent resource on networking.

Books and Courses: Explore books and online courses on networking, communication skills, and relationship-building. Look for reputable resources authored by experts in these fields. Workshops and Seminars: Attend workshops or seminars focused on improving interpersonal skills. These events often provide practical exercises and opportunities for networking. Networking Groups: Join professional networking groups or clubs. Participating in such groups exposes you to diverse perspectives and allows you to practice networking in a supportive environment.

Of course you should read. Simon Sinek, Keith Ferrazzi, Peter Drucker, Jeffery Fox, and of course Dale Carnegie are all great resources...but I would advocate for watching as much as reading. Put yourself into opportunities to watch others do this, especially others you already respect. So much can be learned from watching accomplished professionals connect with people and strengthen those connections over time.

a) Practice Active Listening: Listening is a critical skill for networking and building relationships. Practice being fully present in conversations, showing genuine interest, and asking thoughtful questions. b) Seek Feedback: Ask trusted colleagues or mentors for feedback on your interaction style. They can provide insights into areas where you might improve, such as body language, conversation topics, or follow-up practices.

I hear it constantly from clients : "We like to be spontaneous and unprepared" and my answer invariably is " You will still need to practice intensively until you won't need it anymore". For instance your first version of elevator's pitch needs to be repetitively rehearsed until you feel comfortable amending it into other versions depending on the context and audience. You don't need to remember the exact wording of anything you're delivering yet you would need to remember the structure. Start by asking questions in conferences, grabbing coffees during breaks, asking for a follow up meeting some time later....Do this over and over again until it becomes your second nature.

The need to practice never goes away! No matter how long you've been in networking situations professionally, you will still need to practice. These are skills like any other than need constant sharpening.

Show genuine interest in the people you meet by practicing active listening. This means paying close attention to what they are saying, asking follow-up questions, and responding thoughtfully. Active listening helps build rapport and shows that you value the conversation. Also, after meeting someone new, send a follow-up message to express your appreciation for the conversation and suggest keeping in touch. This could be through LinkedIn or a quick email saying it was a pleasure to meet and that you look forward to interacting more in the future.

My experience in this area has taught me to set aside my pride and ask for help. There are specialists in this area that can make a huge impact on your personal brand as viewed through digital platforms.

Online Networking Platforms: Utilize professional networking platforms like LinkedIn to connect with industry peers, mentors, and potential collaborators. Actively engage in discussions and share insights to establish your presence. Communication Tools: Use technology to facilitate communication and relationship-building. Video conferencing platforms, email, and social media can help you stay connected with your network and nurture relationships. CRM Software: Consider using Customer Relationship Management (CRM) software to manage your contacts and interactions. These tools can help you organize your network, track communication, and follow up effectively.

This tends to be a very personal thing, and emotions can be triggered. Reach out and ask someone you know and trust, whose skills you've seen and respect. Create a safe space for them to offer comments and accept them with grace in all cases. Remember, you don't have to act on or even accept all comments as fact, but rather analyze the feedback and look for the value in it. It's like the reality singing shows on TV - you have to balance the perception of others with your own sense of self.

You won't be able to ace anything or see any results if you don't do this consistently. There will be numerous days where you will be networking and engaging with no single meaningful conversation and then you will be very close to give up. Just don't. You will as well have self doubt in the way you're carrying yourself and this absolutely normal. One fine day, efforts in expanding networks will come to fruition and your will start start not just networking with people but actually connecting with them and this is what is required indeed.

When engaging with someone new, take the opportunity to inquire about their interests and background, aiming to uncover common ground and potential areas for collaboration or assistance. Additionally, remain mindful of your network and individuals who could provide support or resources to your new acquaintance. By offering to facilitate introductions, you not only bridge connections but also showcase the mutual benefits of collaboration. Ensuring that these introductions highlight shared interests or complementary skills fosters a sense of synergy and potential for a positive, win-win for everyone.

Just find someone to help. It takes the pressure off of "having to network." I tell people "I like to make connections for people. What connection are you looking for?" One guy said he needs a cleaner for his vacation rental. Over the next week I sent him 3 contacts. Also, I immediately learned he owns a vacation rental and started asking him about that. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 😆

"The only way to improve is to train with someone stronger than you." – Swami Vivekananda If your networking and relationship-building skills need improvement, actively seek opportunities to practice and learn. Attend workshops or seminars focused on communication and networking. Engage in social settings and industry events to apply new techniques in real-world interactions. Consider finding a mentor who excels in networking to provide guidance and feedback. Regularly reflect on your interactions to identify areas for improvement and adapt your approach based on those insights. Continuous practice and learning are key to enhancing these essential skills.