Your coachee challenges your authority in a session. How do you regain control and maintain respect?

There are times when there's something going on in the coachee's life that has nothing to do with the engagement and the challenge of authority is a reaction to something completely different. As a trusted person, stay calm and let them vent it out. Then ask if they want a break to regain their composure before continuing the conversation. Make notes of what was said and when the dialogue begins again, ask them to share more. Digging deeper and giving them space not only reestablishes your authority but also uncovers issues that may need to be worked on first before the desired coaching results can happen.

Picture this: your coachee challenges your authority mid-session. It's a make-or-break moment. The key? Stay calm. Breathe deep, resist defensiveness, and remember this might be a test or sign of deeper issues. By staying composed, you demonstrate professionalism and set the stage for productive dialogue. Lean into active listening, valuing their perspective even in dissent. Model the leadership skills you're there to cultivate. Later, get curious and dig deeper. Is this a normal response for this individual? Is it due to something else going in their life? Just a bad day? Embrace the challenge, stay grounded, and watch tension transform into an opportunity for growth and respect.

As coaches, our level of emotional intelligence is vital so that we are able to navigate different dynamics with our clients. I have had clients challenge me during a session and what made me maintain my posture as their coach was being highly aware of what may have triggered the client and understanding myself so that I could respond from an authentic and anchored posture so that their reaction did not throw me off. Maintaining my agency and authority while creating space for my client to manage their own is how these situations were properly and favorably managed.

When a coachee challenges your authority in a session, regain control and maintain respect by reflecting respect yourself. Stay calm and composed, actively listen to their perspective, and acknowledge their concerns. Gently remind them of the session's goals and reassert your role as their coach, emphasizing mutual respect and trust. Address the challenge directly and use positive, inclusive language to foster a collaborative atmosphere. Seek common ground to rebuild a sense of partnership, and consider following up after the session to address any unresolved issues. By demonstrating respect through your actions and words, you can effectively manage the situation and maintain a productive coaching relationship.

Begin by calmly and respectfully reminding the coachee of the purpose of your sessions and the mutual goal of their development. Clearly outline your role as the coach, emphasizing that your guidance is intended to support their growth. Reaffirm the boundaries and expectations of the coaching relationship, highlighting the importance of mutual respect. Address their concerns directly, seeking to understand their perspective, but maintain your position as the facilitator of their development. By clarifying roles and expectations, you can reestablish authority and create a respectful, productive coaching environment.

In this context, I think it's less about explaining roles because a good coach establishes the dynamic from the beginning of the partnership. What matters more is being curious about why the client is reacting/responding the way they are and creating the space for them to explore why they are taking out their frustration/anger on you their coach. That can open up a whole territory for the client that when explored at a deeper level can lead to a huge transformation

Clearly assert your boundaries to regain control and maintain respect when a coachee challenges your authority. Also, it's key to decipher what type of energy is being thrown at you. It could be coming from a good place where things are seemingly tense, but it could be that way because of passion and care for what the coachee is working on. Firmly but respectfully remind them of the purpose and structure of the coaching relationship. Emphasize the importance of mutual respect and collaboration, reinforcing that the goal is to support their development and success.

When a coachee challenges your authority, address the situation calmly (without taking it personally) by exploring the underlying issue. Not all conflict is bad, as it often can lead to growth when approached in the right sequence. Ask open-ended questions to understand their concerns or frustrations. No one wants to feel invisible. Also, think of your relationship as a partnership (or co-creating). No one wants to be told what to do without any input.

Leveraging EQ skills can be crucial in these moments. Being attuned to both your own emotions and those of your coachee can help navigate the situation more effectively. It's worth examining the inherent power dynamics in the coaching relationship. Sometimes, a challenge to authority might be a coachee's way of asserting autonomy or seeking more equal footing. Resistance often contains valuable information. It might signal areas where the coachee feels vulnerable or highlight topics that need more attention.

Calmly acknowledge their concerns and listen actively to understand their perspective. Then, refocus the conversation on the shared objectives of the coaching relationship. Remind the coachee of the specific goals they set at the beginning of the process and how your guidance aims to help them achieve these goals. Reinforce the mutual benefits of the coaching sessions and the importance of collaboration and respect in reaching their objectives. By realigning the focus on common goals, you can reestablish a constructive dialogue and reinforce your role in supporting their development.

In any relationship dynamic there will be challenges. As executive coaches we are leaders and it is up to us to set the foundation of the relationship with our clients so that when issues arise, they can be addressed from a posture of patience, grace, curiosity, and maturity.