How can you use emotional intelligence to set boundaries for self-care?

Emotional Intelligence helps you express your feelings effectively and allows you to establish boundaries with others without hurting their feelings because it enables you to understand their emotions too.

You can use emotional intelligence to set boundaries for self-care through: 1. Recognize how you feel and why. 2. Be kind to yourself, just like you would to a friend. 3. Don't overcommit, prioritize your well-being. These are the ways you do the self-care for yourself.

Emotional intelligence is way beyond what we actually read or have been taught in college. It's about how to handle your thoughts and emotions. But it also tells a lot about your past traumas, unhealed parts of you, your unhealthy patterns of behaviour. It shows you a mirror especially that has been stored in your subconscious mind. It talks about the importance of intuition vs bodily actions. How we can change these inherited patterns and change our life for the better.

Let me give you one example. If you value work-life balance and find work encroaching on personal time, emotional intelligence helps in articulating this boundary to others. It’s about expressing your needs calmly, understanding others' reactions, and finding common ground or alternative solutions. Through emotional intelligence, you not only recognize when your values and needs are being challenged but also navigate the communication in a way that upholds your self-care boundaries effectively.

Emotional intelligence isn't just about understanding and managing our emotions. It's a tool: • To recognize when we're pushing ourselves too hard • To identify the moments we feel overwhelmed • To pinpoint the triggers causing us undue stress • To choose the right actions for self-preservation Start with saying "NO" - It's a basic boundary that signifies individuality and unique preferences. - It helps you heard and being respected for your values. - It creates a atmosphere of trust

Become emotionally literate by learning to identify specific emotions. Go beyond happy, sad, mad. Use a feelings wheel or thesaurus to figure out if you’re frustrated, resentful or irritated. This will help you understand yourself and manage your emotional self-regulation.

After one especially exhausting semester, I realized I was burning out. I dreaded each school day and had no patience for even minor misbehavior from students. I was irritable and snapping over small things. That's when I knew I needed to take a step back and get in touch with my feelings. As teachers, our own emotions often get overlooked in the chaos of lesson planning, grading, meetings, and of course - classroom management. We pour so much energy into our students that we neglect our inner lives. I've learned the hard way that this is a recipe for resentment and exhaustion. Now I check in with myself on a daily basis. I reflect on what emotions I'm experiencing, even negative ones like frustration, sadness, or anger.

I always try to do a balance of my actions and translate that into feelings. What makes you feel energized is what you should invest your time. Don't let the negative be the center of your thoughts.

If I find myself consistently feeling drained after engaging with a specific group or project, it's a sign that I need to establish boundaries around my involvement. Emotional intelligence allows me to be self-aware enough to recognize these emotional signals and gives me the communication skills to respectfully assert my boundaries. It's crucial to honor my emotional responses, understand their message, and take the necessary steps to protect my well-being. By doing so, I can create a healthier and more productive work and personal environment.

Setting boundaries is all about self-care. You gotta put yourself first, you know? You can't take care of anyone else if you're not taking care of yourself. Start thinking about yourself in a good way, and believe that you're important and deserve attention. Talk to yourself in a positive way, and challenge any negative thoughts with facts. For instance, if you're thinking "I never do anything right", think about all the times you did things right! Learn from any mistakes you make and do better next time. Don't just think about your feelings, feel them! Ask yourself why things are important to you, and follow your heart.

We are usually worried about what do we have to say. Most of the times in my experience we put little attention on listening. A good technique is to ask open questions, not share your opinion upfront and be open minded about what others have to say.

It's like crafting a bridge of understanding in the midst of diverse expectations. Emotional intelligence becomes this superpower that allows you to not just hear words but to truly listen and grasp the emotions behind them. In this intricate dance of communication, empathy is the secret sauce—it's about acknowledging different viewpoints without necessarily taking sides. So, while setting boundaries, I've learned to be mindful not to assume I know how others feel or why. Instead, I ask questions with genuine curiosity, creating an open space for understanding.

Be mindful not to assume you know how others feel or why. Ask questions with genuine curiosity and be open to the answers, even if you don’t understand. Resist the natural human drive to be right and focus on being solution-oriented.

Let me give you an example: If a colleague is constantly reaching out for support outside of work hours, empathizing with their situation while also expressing your own need for downtime showcases emotional intelligence. It’s about striking a balance between being there for others and honoring your own boundaries. This practice paves the way for respectful communication and mutual understanding, establishing a conducive environment for self-care and supportive relationships.

Since Emotional Intelligence (EI) only has meaning in relationship to others, and this article is about using EI for self-care, the point must be to use EI to 1) influence others to have your boundaries or standards met, or 2) understand whether someone will violate your own boundaries or standards so that you can make decision on what to do. Whether you want to exercise influence or just understand, you have to listen actively. That requires presence and curiosity. Trying to influence someone without understanding them is arrogance.

When someone asks for something it’s okay to buy yourself some time. This is especially helpful when you’re new to setting boundaries. “Let me check my calendar and get back to you this afternoon” gives you the space to make a clear-eyed decision and gather the courage to say no if you need to. Remember that overpromising and under delivering is a common outcome of weak boundaries. So are exhaustion, overwhelm and burnout.

I use the Emotional Literacy model from Dan Newby at the School of Emotions. Emotional Literacy is the capability to navigate from emotions that inform to emotions that are more effective. In this case I can imagine a person feeling shame, anger, or resentful if their boundaries for well being are being challenged. Being Emotionally Literate might look like navigating to the emotion of Dignity to confront or reset the boundary. The internal message of Dignity is "I am worthy; I decide." Coaching can help a person embody Dignity with deep, even breathing and an upright, grounded posture. A person can more effectively ask for what they need to care for themselves from embodied Dignity.

It is great to know that alot of people can not say NO. Most especially, they want to appear good always for societal validation of some sort. But above that, it is important to know when to say NO. state what you can do, tolerate and execute without placing any detrimental value on others, negotiate your terms and protocol of engagement, let your words be what you will definitely do. You can say NO if the case is not favorable for you, say it with humility, respect and reason, most importantly, be opened to further discuss on alternatives.

It's time to embrace the power of "no" and the art of negotiation. Saying "no" is not just a word; it's a stand for your well-being, a declaration of your limits. It's a skill, honed by emotional intelligence, that lets you assert your needs firmly and gracefully, without a hint of guilt or apology. When "no" is not enough, negotiation steps in. It's about finding that sweet spot where your needs meet others' respectfully and realistically. Remember, you're not being difficult; you're being smart about your energy, time, and peace. This isn't just self-care; it's self-respect.

One of the biggest problems that many struggle with is to say No. No to the things that bother us. Infact, I have also struggled with us and some I do hesitate but then I have made it a point that I have a boundary. For example, when it comes to work I start having a timer at 9:00 pm to say that it is time to end the day. When the reminder comes that I have hit the limit I tend to start having the conversation that I will do it the next day. So having a reminder or a limit to which you are stretched is really important.

Saying no when it's necessary, assertively expressing your demands, and effectively conveying your limits to others are all components of emotional intelligence. Healthy limits that promote your well-being and avoid emotional tiredness can be established by developing self-awareness and being in tune with your emotions.

The key to flexible boundaries is avoiding giving in to pressure, comparisons, or trying to please people all the time. Operate from the aspect of knowing, we should always prioritize our needs while also doing our best to meet the needs of others as much as we can.

An interesting perspective I adopted recently is to reframe "boundaries" to "standards" because boundaries can keep people out of your sphere. Standards, on the other hand, are about what you are willing to accept. Create standards so that you can consciously choose and communicate how you prefer your surroundings, relationships and different aspects of life to be. Standards can always be adjusted by looking at what you want to achieve, experience and feel.

When we review our code of conducts that helps us to mark our boundary and exist in it over time, we will have a reason to adjust, to further maintain high level of selfcare. For example, in past months I had less hours in a day to be opened to consultation because of other projects at hand, few weeks back, i reviewed that in my calendar, i increased my consultation period by 1 hour. I remained clear and healthy even this timeframe which i can still take care of my mental health and other projects. It is a good practice to embrace

Emotional Quotient can definitely be improved. It is never a constant. The key is to keep self-reflecting constantly. There should be defined boundaries else there will be emotional burnout.