You're faced with critical feedback from your supervisor. How do you handle your emotions effectively?

No one likes to be reminded of our weaknesses. But, let's be honest--we're all human. And so are other people. Not everyone is skilled at delivering feedback in a positive way, so it can be easy to get defensive or angry when we receive negative feedback--especially when the delivery is "rough around the edges." I've found that making the decision that feedback is never personal helps me stay calm in these situations. I'm raising two teenagers. It happens often. When I choose to receive all feedback as information to consider, it helps me take a breath, separate the content of the message from the delivery, and process the information I received. Then I'm able to respond to--and apply--feedback I'd otherwise blow off or react to.

Staying calm can be difficult in the moment of processing the information that evaluates you. Many times it might not be worth it and could be even impossible, especially if you're a neurodivergent person who easily gets overwhelmed. It's not your responsibility to make the other person comfortable in this situation. Holding in emotion, even for 5 minutes can be physically and emotionally self-harming. If you feel the intensity could put you in jeopardy however, it's best to try to leave the situation asap and react somewhere safe.

Receiving feedback, especially when it’s critical, can be challenging. But it’s also an opportunity for growth. Here’s how I have learned to handle it ( btw, I was not always like this but I have grown a little in the last couple of years: 1. I pause, listen, and seek to understand the feedback without interrupting. Active listening is key. 2. It’s natural to feel defensive or upset. I recognize these emotions but don’t let them dictate my response. 3. I consider whether the feedback is valid. If it is, I appreciate the chance to improve. 4. I create an action plan to address the feedback constructively. Seeking guidance if needed. Throughout the entire process, I keep reminding myself that feedback fuels growth. Hard but doable.

It is your perspective on that discussion that determines whether your emotions need to be "handled". It's okay to feel the ouch and the feelings that go with an 'ouch'. But if you feel attacked then chances are a different set of emotions may arise that may need 'handling' so you don't react and regre itt or withdraw and wither. The quality relationship with the person and with yourself matters.

Take the time to breathe and steady yourself so you can respond rather than react. Is there truth in what you are being told, even if the message has been badly or clumsily delivered? Consider what you can act on and whether you need to discuss more fully with those you trust.

Receiving critical feedback from your supervisor can be challenging, but it's an opportunity for growth. Take time to reflect internally, objectively assessing the validity of the feedback. Consider how your actions may have influenced the feedback and identify areas for improvement. Self-reflection fosters self-awareness and a proactive approach to personal development. Embrace the feedback as a chance to learn and grow, and use it as a stepping stone towards enhancing your professional performance. Remember, self-reflection is key to mastering emotional responses and transforming criticism into personal and professional advancement.

If I have made an error I always ask questions to understand the issue, and ask for advice on how to prevent reoccurrence... Accepting responsibility and moving on are vital for a healthy work life... If the error was not mine, I say this and try to understand why the criticism is headed my way...