Giving difficult feedback doesn’t have to be soul-crushing for the recipient. And it’s not a matter of “spinning” a positive tone, it’s phrasing the feedback so it’s growth-oriented and future-focused. Unless the feedback is necessary due to an established pattern of poor performance, it should be a developmental conversation in which both parties are involved.

To ensure written feedback is well-received, I start with a positive note to create an open and supportive tone. I use "I" statements to express my perspective without sounding accusatory. Being specific and offering actionable suggestions shows my commitment to their development. I keep the feedback concise and clear to avoid any misinterpretation. Ending on an encouraging note reinforces a collaborative approach and openness to further discussion. Finally, I reflect on the feedback to ensure it is empathetic and constructive, aligning with how I would like to receive it.

To show empathy, you need to have empathy first, at least to some degree. And to achieve that, you simply need to think from the perspective of the writer. Sounds simple? Well, it's not. If you have to give difficult feedback, that means that there are certain elements in the piece that you actually don't approve of. They might seem totally unacceptable to you, or they might seem undesirable to you. There is a whole spectrum. To have empathy in such a scenario, try to think of the suggestions you can give to improve those areas. When your focus is on the solution rather than the problem, empathy isn't difficult to generate.

Making your feedback encourageing should entail drawing upon your personal knowledge of the person you are communicating with. Often I have found that the knowledge of how the person thinks can help you craft your message with choicest of words that will trigger the desired response with them. And especially, since your feedback is in written format, you get ample opportunity to think and frame your response before sending. Try not to impose authority and create an environment of trust. Hope this helps!