How do you build trust and rapport with your counterparts and partners in diplomacy?

Great leaders are great listeners and great leaders ask great questions. Active listening starts with having a growth mindset and having humility. If you fundamentally appreciate the power of continually learning from those around you, the rest will flow.

I tend to follow PWSRS listening method while engaging in any useful conversations: 👉Pay attention 👉Withhold judgement 👉Summarise 👉Reflect 👉Share

This was how we survived in Special Forces working by, with, and through indigenous people. 100% have a curiosity to learn about them and their culture. To many people get caught up on whether they trust the other party. Go in with the intent to earn their trust. The more you bond with them, the better off it will be when things become serious.

Actively listening is a part of the communication process. During communication you must listen and truly understand what the other party is sharing. Active listening requires the person to remove barriers and biases to truly hear the other persons intent. If you have established trust the other party will share their thoughts more openly with you. Open ended questions and a growth mindset are crucial to truly engage while listening

Leading with curiosity is an important component of honing good listening skills. Being fully present, listening with all of your senses, and following up with inquisitive questions.

Sometimes empathised communication would have not been understood the same way by receivers due to the diversified background of people. Worth to understand types of empathy models for engaging versatile background helps building inclusion which is a golden key for modern leaders!

To be empathetic, you need to experience the world through the lens and heart of the other person. Empathy is not sharing your stories, it is about acknowledging that the lived experience of another is theirs and theirs alone. Sit with with their stories and experiences without comment and be open to how that makes you feel.

The first step to empathy is listening. Truly listen to their concerns and experience. They’re telling you what you need to hear. It doesn’t matter if you agree with them, but you better attempt to understand their viewpoint.

It is also important for a person to know their own self is in a place to empathize with another person. Genuine empathy is humble and if you cannot see the point of view or understand the place the individual is coming from then you might not be in a space to provide empathy. In that case, you listen attentively and really capture what the other person is trying to tell you.

Be insatiably curious about the what and the why when learning about any culture. Bring your proven years of experience (including critical non negotiable values/principles) but with the outlook and mindset of a new student. This will garner mutual respect and rapport which typically leads to positive and sustainable outcomes.

Often times Americans go overseas and say this is how it’s done. It fails every time. Adapt to their style, better yet assimilate into their culture. This earns more trust than about anything. Asking about their kids, what it’s like to grow up there, etc.

You can plan in a silo while they’re doing the same thing or do it together. At some point it will come together, so do it from the start. Everyone must win or everyone will lose. Aligning common goals and approaches is critical to success through building trust.

Communication is the cornerstone to trust. Here's a template to (re)build trust & create healthy relationships. "What I want for you is to feel I'm a resource to help achieve your goals. Since we’re in different departments I feel I could have done a better job focusing on your needs. We have different priorities & I may not have given yours the attention or respect it deserves. I’m asking for your forgiveness & why I need your help. Let's hit the reset button on our relationship & redesign how our departments work together so we can support each other to achieve our goals. I’d love to better understand your role, challenges, how you’re evaluated & your business objectives so I can be a resource for you. Are you open discussing this?”

In my experience, it is vital to connect human-to-human in every discussion; no matter the topic. Being able to change the message for each audience so they can hear you, is the internal work that every leader is challenged to master in your evolution of growth as you connect to your sea of connected audiences. The key is connection through communication in a way that continues to respect each and every person so they want to continue dialoguing. I have failed here, before succeeding. I have been the smart one in the room instead of learning how to speak simply and connect. To confess, I’m still in practice. However, this path, I am convinced is the one that allows for growth and more to have a voice in the discussion.

Speak truthfully. Truth equals trust. In business, hiding company secrets for profitability over the competition is one thing, it's a part of business. But outright lying to your peers, co-workers, subordinates, and especially to your customers, is a great way to become bankrupt and homeless... or be put in jail.

Build trust, rapport and tailor your communication to meet the other person where they are at. Strong Communication skills require excellent listening skills, a growth mindset, and the ability to empower others to arrive at the best possible outcome.

I’m a big fan of zoom. That way I can SEE what is going on (especially facial expressions). This help me see and hear is real issues.