What are the main causes of intergenerational conflict in family businesses?

Assume nothing. Assumptions invite personality management which you often see in small nonprofits. Have some kind of board of directors then write out the roles & responsibilities. Ensure checks and balances so nobody can bleed the company dry. Like a football (or pick your most relevant team sport) team, the QB can't concurrently be the center and the wide receiver. Annually review the roles and revise as needed. Roles should have titles not tied to anyone's name. Roles are not people. People fill roles.

Often it takes the appearance of the 3rd generation to cool this down. The elder generation needs to begin with ongoing top-down (balance sheet level) "end of the line" conversations with the younger generation and at least a photo of the grandchildren in the room. Whiteboard "end of the line" for each generation by name. At least 3 horizontal lines--timelines--oldest on top, starting furthest to the left and so on. Goals/pre-requisites/triggers/fallbacks (continuity and estate planning) for each line. Metrics for nextgen capabilities to attain greater control at points along the line. Every line ends without do-overs. After agreement at this top level can you pursue alignment in financial management details.

One thing that constantly stands out to me is the lack of transparency around wishes. Often, the one leaving the legacy will have very specific ideas about what they'd like - yet fail to communicate that to the rest of the family. A round table discussion may seem daunting, or not the best idea but it is a good way to 'lay your cards on the table.' Having others understand what you want and why you'd like it, may cause them to fall more easily in line with your wishes. Or possibly lead you to understand very quickly who has other ideas. Bringing in the professionals can also assist. There are ways of leaving funds both inside and outside of the estate, so ensuring that what you'd like carried out, is easier. Family is tricky!

Parent-Leaders whose lives are in community, i.e. first name basis, with their clientele are leading their kids to do the same. Their kids get to know the clients and the clients' kids. Clients are like extended family. Retail stores/restaurants/services, especially. The online experience, while 100% necessary anymore, hinders this depth of bond that the parents were accustomed to. Online services scale but at what cost? The older generation often acquiesces their role to offline, letting the next generation lead with online. Without real handshakes, can the next generation possibly establish--let alone maintain--deep connections and associated conviction? Will they ever care as much as the founders did?