Aurora Autistic Consulting

“How are you?” 3 words that leave me confused every time. I now know the expected answer is “fine thanks, how are you?”, especially when it’s a “meet in the street or supermarket and we are both gonna keep walking” type situation. But what if that’s not true? What if I am super happy but worry that might overwhelm the other person as it’s overwhelming me a little? What if I am feeling really down? What is some areas of my life are absolutely rocking and others are really difficult? What if work is great but my partner is struggling with their health? Or if my home life is bliss and work is tricky? What if I don’t want to answer this question fully but don’t want to be inauthentic? Recently I’ve started answering that question with, “I’m really not sure how to answer that but I am happy to see you!” When I am happy to see them of course! Sometimes I’ll reply that it’s a complicated answer but then lead with an aspect of my life that is going well. Or not so well if it’s someone I trust. How do you answer when someone asks how you are? #autism #autistic #communication #howareyou #autisticcommunication #smalltalk

During a meeting some time ago, the organisation I was speaking with told me they don’t use the word “disability”. This, of course, led to an interesting discussion about why they didn’t – they didn’t want to stigmatise people. And this then led to further discussion about why we need to use the word disability. I will start by saying that every Autistic person has the absolute right to decide whether or not they identify as disabled. Autism is a protected characteristic and we are entitled to reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act 2010, and the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities. Avoiding using a word to describe any marginalised community to avoid stigma actually achieves the opposite. It increases the stigma. And often leads to those who are part of that community to feel ashamed of that part of their identity. One of the best ways to destigmatise disability is to talk openly about why it can be ok to be disabled. Disability is one of life’s experiences that any one of us could experience. Even if you don’t become disabled yourself, chances are someone you know or even love may become disabled one day. Eliminating the stigma helps everyone. Talking about it at a young age means disabled kids can grow up knowing we are disabled by society, and learn how to advocate for reasonable adjustments. This could be adjusted lighting, using accessible toilets, using different entrances and exits from colleagues and fellow students. Taking about it means we can feel better about applying for Adult Disability Payment, getting concessionary entry into attractions, and giving ourselves permission to set our own boundaries that match our needs. We can reach out to the disability community, charities, and other organisations for support. Talking about disability as a society means we can strive towards disabled people being seen and treated with equity. I am both physically disabled and Autistic. I have innate value as a human being just as all human beings do. Disability is not a bad word, and it’s essential we destigmatise disabled experiences. If your organisation would like support destigmatising disability, email Aurora at marion@auroraconsulting.scot #disability #inclusion #equity #justice #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #reasonableadjustments #EqualityAct2010 #UNCRPD #stigma

It’s National Coming Out Day! We regularly talk about the intersectionality between the Autistic and LGBT+ communities here at Aurora. Coming out as either Autistic or LGBT+ isn’t something that happens once and it’s done. It’s something we have to do again, and again, and again whenever we meet someone new. And if like me you’re part of that double rainbow of being in both communities, it’s doubly so! So how can you be an ally is someone comes out to you? 🏳️🌈 Thank them for trusting you with that information 🏳️🌈 Don’t assume it’s public knowledge – they may not be ready for everyone to know 🏳️🌈 Don’t judge. It may not be your experience but that doesn’t make it valid 🏳️🌈 Ask if there is anything you can do to support them 🏳️🌈 Talk about places they may be able to access support such as Four Pillars or Equality Network 🏳️🌈 Recognise that they are still the same person they have always been! And if you’re not ready to come out yet, that’s totally ok! You don’t owe anyone your identity, and it doesn’t make you any less part of the community. #LGBT+ #twinrainbow #autism #autistic #queer #NationalComingOutDay #allyship #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

It’s World Mental Health Day and I am expecting my social media scrolling to be full of stats about the prevalence of poor mental health experiences within the Autistic community. This is understandable because it is a huge problem. The reasoning for this is not hard to understand. Living in a world that is specifically not designed for us is incredibly damaging. I want this post to focus on what we can do to improve Autistic mental health: Validate our experiences. Don’t gaslight us into thinking that our senses, emotions, and experiences are wrong. Recognise that communication is a 2 way street. Miscommunication is not solely the “fault” of the Autistic person. Adjust the environment to suit the people using it. Flexibility is key to match our fluctuating needs. Give us space and time after a crisis point. We can’t just go straight back to work or education, we need rest. Support our passionate interests. Spending time exploring the topics that we are so engaged with is a wonderful way to improve our well being. Self care. It can look different for all of us – a walk in the woods, collecting shells, Neuroaffirming therapy, getting support with our finances, cuddling plushies, hot cups of tea. But as much of it as required. This is not an exhaustive list, but it is all a part of Radical Acceptance. Working with our neurotype rather than fighting against it. If your organisation would like to learn more about supporting Autistic people, email me at marion@auroraconsulting.scot to arrange an appointment. #WorldMentalHealthDay #AutisticMentalHealth #wellbeing #autism #autistic #ActuallyAutistic #neurodivergent #MentalHealth

This week’s Ableism in Action concerns invalidating Autistic people’s concerns. Meet Harry. Harry is in secondary school and loves learning. He does not love people making faces at him. It makes him feel incredibly uncomfortable, and if it goes on too long he becomes dysregulated. Harry has asked for support, but his PSAs and teachers tell him to just ignore it. They tell Harry that it’s something he needs to become resilient to. They don’t realise how upsetting it is for him, and Harry becomes so dysregulated he has a meltdown. How can you be an ally? Listen when Autistic people say that something is difficult for them. It may not be difficult for you, but the world would be dreadfully dull if we were all the same. Having someone downplay and negate our difficulties can sometimes lead to us doubting ourselves and increase masking. Autistic people use an incredible amount of resilience to get through their day. Advocating for ourselves takes courage and energy. It is essential we listen, validate, and take action. #advocating #advocacy #autism #autistic #livedexperience #meltdown #ableism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

Today is World Teachers’ Day. It’s now 20 years since I started my teacher training to become a primary teacher. I can’t believe it’s that long! I loved my time in the classroom and taught everything from nursery to P7 and every stage in between. It was a genuine privilege! There are tremendous pressures on teachers - things get added to their list of duties and responsibilities all the time with nothing being taken out. Teachers also do not have mandatory training in supporting Autistic and otherwise disabled students. My time at uni included one 2 hour lecture on Autism that had me thinking Autistic pupils sounded fascinating but had no inkling that I am Autistic myself. The subsequent training I had was sporadic and never from an Autistic perspective. Aurora’s services for schools include: 🍎 developing and delivering bespoke staff training 🍎 class visits 🍎 assemblies 🍎 visits to parent groups 🍎 support developing neurodiversity affirming policies My experience as a former teacher, a parent, and an Autistic person, means I can provide unique and empathetic insights for all. If your school would like to talk about how Aurora can help, email me at marion@auroraconsulting.scot for a free initial discussion. #WorldTeacherDay #autism #autistic #training #consulting #teacher #teaching #school #education #children #headteacher

Accessible toilets has come up in discussion with me this week. Here’s a wee list of reasons why an Autistic person might prefer to use the accessible toilets: 🚽 More space to move around if we struggle with dressing and undressing 🚽 No unexpected hand driers 🚽 No unexpected noisy toilet flushing 🚽 No smells from other toilets 🚽 No bumping into other people accidentally 🚽 Not having to worry about whether a stall is taken, or your place in the queue A lot of people worry that being Autistic means they are not disabled enough to use the accessible toilets. Autism is a protected characteristic, and there are many sensory reasons why regular communal toilets can be inaccessible to Autistic folks. The first time I used an accessible loo I was extremely anxious but made it so much easier, I was more regulated, and more able to enjoy the rest of my day! Ensuring your work space has good accessible toilets is just one way of making the environment easier for disabled staff. #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #disabled #disability #accessible #accessibility

Enthusiastic consent is vital. Things that may seem innocuous like a handshake, or a pat on the back might cause real sensory distress.

Today is 6 months since we launched Aurora Autistic Consulting! It’s been quite a journey already. We kicked off with a cracking Autistic Empowerment campaign, supported Autistic Pride Aberdeen, have delivered sessions for a variety of organisations including Lloyd’s Register, University of Aberdeen, and West College Scotland. We have started an amazing new 6 session course for parents with the good folks at The Autistic Collective CIC - East Renfrewshire We launched our amazing website thanks to the wonderful team at The Marketing Department. It’s packed with info, more additions on their way soon! We had a smashing first webinar on reasonable adjustments, new webinar announcements coming soon. Our feedback has been sensational, it's been overwhelming reading your comments! And I have throughly loved making connections with the best followers on social media as well as other Autistic advocates, organisations and more. The next six months is already looking exciting with more training, more Autistic Pride, and more fab Autistic content. Aurora offers a wide variety of services including training, consulting, sensitivity reading, school class and parents visits, and so much more! Email marion@auroraconsulting.scot for more info! #ActuallyAutistic #smallbusiness #AutisticPride #neurodivergent #neuroaffirming #neurodiversity #autism #autistic #training #consulting #education

Back by popular demand, it’s Ableism in Action! During Tuesday night’s webinar on reasonable adjustments in education and work, we talked about school meetings and it brought to mind the following... Some years ago I was in a school meeting discussing supports for an Autistic child. One of the professionals in the room - who specialised in supporting Autistic children - decided that it was a good time to declare that Autistic people sometimes have meltdowns on purpose. I spoke up to challenge this. I had to. Yet despite drawing on my extensive lived and professional experience, I was informed that I was wrong. This was beyond exasperating. This professional had been taught this during their training and held onto this belief despite the wealth of evidence in front of them. Meltdowns are not on purpose. They are a neurological event when our brains are completely overwhelmed. Not a bid for attention, not to achieve a goal, a neurological event. Meltdowns are intensely private and personal, never a choice. So not only did they hold outdated information about Autism, they refused to learn from an Autistic person who also happened to be an Autism professional. Multiple layers of ableism. How can you be an ally? Listen to Autistic people when we talk about our lived experiences. Be open to learning from us, and recognise that what people see on the surface is only a fraction of the whole experience for us, particularly when we meltdown. Funny how often this is the key to allyship, isn’t it? If your organisation would like to to date Autistic led training, email marion@auroraconsulting.scot for a free consultation. Pic of an exasperated woman with a similar expression to mine at the time of the meeting #autism #autistic #meltdown #ableism #education #school #DEI #equity #inclusion