Being a professional does *not* mean saying yes to everything that's asked of you. Being a professional does mean: -Communicating clearly (in a reasonable time frame) what can be expected of you. For example, I will reply to emails within 24 hours, even if that reply is simply that I've received the email and will give it a thorough response within x timeframe. -Saying no to things that go beyond your capacity, boundaries, or abilities. It's much better to say no to something than to say yes and have to back out of it later or deliver something that doesn't feel authentic to you. In a work environment it isn't always possible to say no, but you can outline the reasons why you feel you may not be the best person to work on this particular project so that at least you've been realistic about what they can expect from you. -Expecting that others will sometimes say no to you or not respond to you right away, too! And learning not to take this personally. Adjusting our expectations is key. Professionalism has less to do with how much you actually take on and much more to do with how you present yourself and communicate about expectations. This makes you reliable and consistent. Set the expectation that you may not always be available or able to take on anything that's asked of you-but that you will always be responsive within a reasonable timeframe to discuss it. #peoplepleasing #healthyboundaries #workculture #professionalism
Psychotherapist & Founder @ M-Path & Handle Modelller | Developing men’s mental health, emotional intelligence & inclusion.
Setting boundaries can be extremely challenging for some people in business - especially people pleasers. If you've grown up being taught that 'good' behaviour is doing everything that's expected of you, regardless of impact, you've been taught not to have boundaries. This is particularly true for those who've grown up with emotionally immature parents, alcoholics or parents struggling with their mental health. It's why some colleagues will take on mountains of work, and keep saying yes, despite the detrimental effect on their own wellbeing. They believe it is the only way to feel valued. Some bosses will take advantage of a people pleaser, dumping extra work on them to relive their own stress. A compassionate, empathetic boss is one that recognises this behaviour, and assists that colleague to start setting healthy boundaries in the workplace. Boundary setting is about showing compassion for yourself and your needs. That's why it only works if the people around you also show compassion for your needs.