Lived and Loved reposted this
Look back to move forward. I keep learning this lesson, so it may be worth sharing. I’m future-oriented and would rather speculate wildly about how the next chapter might unfold instead of digging into my past experiences with a fine-tooth-comb. But, the moments where I sit down and think about my patterns and habits are when I learn the most and get ready for a leap-frog moment in my development. ----- During a leadership program a few years back, I took the blinders off for an exercise and got to know myself better. The task was simple: find 5 photos of yourself at different ages and consider who you were at each of those stages of life. What mattered to you? How did you make decisions? Looking back exposed a new pattern. It was one of ramping up intensity, taking on more and more (because, of course I could do MORE), and then flaming out. I did it because I liked it. This was completely self-imposed. -> I enjoyed the identity of being the person who could do it all: balance high school, and college courses, and a job, and a social life. -> I felt proud being the only student working full-time in the college department, getting my tuition covered because I was an actual employee (not just a student worker). -> At work, I felt strong when I took on extra-curriculars and led initiatives I cared about (on top of my more-than-full-time role), plus travel, plus candidate interviews. I would go too hard, take on too much, feel overwhelmed, and then not know how to un-do the choices I had made. I felt so stuck in each of these moments. I thought it was a ME problem. ----- Each time, I thought that if I just did the math better, or the calendar better, I could figure it out and keep going at the same speed indefinitely. Spoiler alert: That never worked. I would either get sick (because my body rebelled and needed a break) or make a dramatic change and opt out for a while (because my mind took over and decided that was the only escape hatch). ----- By stacking all the examples - I finally saw that it was an external validation thing. An identity problem. A letting-go of being the person who could do it all issue. Not a calendar puzzle or math equation. Only after seeing the repeating pattern could I break it. ----- I’m still working on shifting this mindset. I continue to get excited about things and want to take on a lot. At least now, I’m better at noticing the signs of needing a break before my body or brain pulls the rip cord to eject. I have fewer flame-outs in this world. Meet Katie over the years below and try the exercise yourself, it’s called ‘My Story in 5 Faces’, article linked in comments. #identity #patterns #selfreflection