PresentVoices

Have you received feedback about needing more executive presence at work? It's a term often associated with communication feedback, but in reality, it's all about focus. Presence is not just about being there physically; it's about being fully attentive in the moment. In coaching over the past week, two technical leaders expressed their desire to improve their presence. However, they found themselves overthinking, attempting to sound overly professional, and structuring their thoughts instead of truly focusing on the conversation at hand. The concept of "executive presence" can create unnecessary pressure, leading to a lack of genuine presence. When our attention is divided, it becomes challenging to communicate effectively and listen actively, reinforcing the very challenges we seek to overcome. Feedback, even with good intentions, can serve as a distraction, pulling us further away from being truly present. In environments with micromanagement, toxicity, or unclear feedback, maintaining focus and confidence can be particularly challenging. True presence is not about perfecting communication but about aligning our attention with the present moment, allowing for genuine connection and impactful communication. When we can focus entirely on the now, we experience a transformative shift, if only for a brief moment. How do you navigate well-intentioned yet perplexing feedback in your professional journey? Share your experience with "executive presence" with us! #executivepresence #feedback #leadership

We rescued a pup a few months ago. Ozzy came from a kill shelter in Georgia. He was found emaciated in a hoarding situation with 25 other dogs and we’ve given him a lot of love (and food!) since. We wanted a dog for company and companionship and to complete our family, but I didn’t anticipate what he's become! A presence partner. Ozzy gets me out of my head. He also gets me outside. And of course these two things are connected. The other week, I took Ozzy on a hike for the first time. I've been hiking since my accident to rebuild core strength after breaking my pelvis and my sacrum and its been a quiet and contemplative on my own. But hiking with Ozzy keeps me more awake and alive. I don't go into deep thought as much. I'm more fully present. In Ozzy, I've found a partner in presence. Our pups and our kiddos are always present and I'm grateful I get to meet them there every once in a while. Being with our kids or our pets keep us more fully present. I wasn't expecting that. They make us cherish each moment when otherwise we might have been lost in thought. Who in your life keeps you present? #rescuedog #parenting #presence

This episode of The Anxious Achiever with Morra Aarons-Mele gives a new way to think about AI - how it can actually make us better workers and leaders. I really appreciated Charlene Li's perspective in thinking about AI as a partner that cannot fully replace humanity but can help us grow and scale our empathy. How are you using AI these days at work or in life? #technology #artificialintelligence #empathy

Does anxiety block our access to joy? A few months ago, my dear friend photographer Sai Mokhtari, called me to talk about anxiety. She hadn’t experienced it much and was curious to know what it felt like. She was confused—she had grown up in a war zone with very little resources to go around. I had grown up working class in the suburbs of New York City with relatively more security and support. Why did I have constant anxiety while she barely experienced it? She asked me a question that I can’t stop thinking about: “Does anxiety get in the way of you feeling joy?” It occurred to me that I never let myself be joyful. It’s not an emotion I let myself feel often. I couldn’t stop thinking about this question when I took my kid to see Inside Out 2 (where characters have all of the emotions in their “head”-quarters). Did I even have access to joy? I realized that I resist joy because it’s too vulnerable. Anxiety, anger, fear—these emotions are far more available (familiar? accessible? comfortable?). But joy? It feels so exposed. When I feel joy, then I have something to lose. But when I trust, I feel an opening. A path forward. Hope. I redefine joy as love. I feel joy when I cherish the people I love. I feel joy when I recognize how grateful I am. I feel joy standing in my backyard with my partner, our kid, and our pup, watching the super moon rise over our home. Is this what joy feels like? Texting with Sai just this week, she said, “Imagine a tree - all we do with intention and work is change the placement of the light. We just need to work to hold the light in place, where we want it to be. And it can be a joyful, positive practice if we are patient with it. We can’t cut the tree down or move its trunk but the tree will slowly grow in the direction of the light we shine.” What are you growing towards this week? I’m working to be patient and to hold the light in place. How are you shining and sharing your light this week? #anxiety #abundance #photographer #entrepreneur

When I realize I’m lost in the anxiety loop, I’m almost always holding my breath, leaning in, and constricting my body language. I hold a lot of trauma in my body since my accident, becoming a parent, and dealing with daily gender dysphoria. And in reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I’m learning about the Pain-Body. We often escape the intensity of our thoughts or physical feelings to think about it, analyze it, and internalize it. It gets stuck in our body instead of moving through us. So right now, when I feel myself constricting and going inward, I’m refocusing on taking up space. I lean back instead of leaning in. I raise my solar plexus just a little bit. And when I do that, I literally create more space in my body—for breath, presence, and love—and this gets me out of my head. I’m able to think more with my gut-brain (instead of just my brain-brain) which allows for more embodied, intuitive thinking. Leaning back and taking up space activates our vagus nerve and has been proven to improve hormonal confidence (increasing our access to dopamine, serotonin, and even testosterone, hormones which help us feel more confident and connected). Our vagus nerve activates our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest)—when we’re in fight-or-flight (our sympathetic nervous system), our vagus nerve turns off. Fight-or-flight feeds feelings and thoughts of self-criticism while our vagus nerve feeds feelings and thoughts of self-compassion. So if you find yourself leaning in or making yourself small, try leaning back and finding expansive body language. How does it change the nature of your thinking? #painbody #vagusnerve #gutbrain #genderdysphoria #anxietyatwork https://lnkd.in/ewqjWCk8

When I’m nervous, I get really formal and buttoned-up. It becomes harder for me to connect and be myself. I don’t relate to people (especially if they have seniority or clout). I know I’m not alone in this. I hear from clients every day how it’s often easier to be ourselves with peers and direct reports but harder when it feels like there’s something to prove. Like most of us, I think I’m supposed to project strength (credibility, confidence, certainty) when what we’re really looking for in each other in warmth (connection, empathy, humanity). Studies have confirmed that we need to prioritize warmth in leadership, not strength. As a non-binary person, I avoid warmth because I don’t feel at home in femininity (but that makes me neglect my own definition of warmth which is where I often find my strength). So it becomes my “magnetic opposite” to focus on warmth—but it’s important that I have my own personal definition of warmth so I feel like myself and I’m not trying to be someone else. My own definition is Confident Warmth - helping people feel heard, seen, and supported. It’s a practice. I constantly default back to focusing on strength and when I realize it, I refocus on my own definition of warmth. It feels like love. And we all need more of that right now. When I get lost in negative thoughts, I’m visualizing a Care Bear Stare instead. When I want to project “I’ve got this”, I’m trying to ask for help instead. What do you do to practice warmth and connection with others? How are you welcoming it into your life right now? #connection #statusanxiety #leadershipskills #nonbinary

My impostor syndrome is so loud right now. Anyone else? I feel like I’m not communicating well with my family and other close relationships. And then I beat myself up (“I’m a communication coach, I should know how to communicate! Why aren’t I using all of my tools?”). Impostor Syndrome is this nagging, repetitive feeling convincing you that you’re a fraud (“I shouldn’t be where I am and when everyone finds out that I’m faking it, it will all come crashing down”). The problem is that Impostor Syndrome (and anxiety actually) are fed by secrecy, shame, and stigma. When we don’t talk about it, it convinces us that we’re alone in the feeling (and anxiety breeds in isolation). This explains why Impostor Syndrome gets worse with age and experience. In fact, when senior leaders admit to feelings of anxiety and vulnerability, it often helps them project more authority and confidence. So what if talking about these feelings is the antidote for anxiety and impostor syndrome? What if hiding it and having shame around it only makes it louder and more powerful? What has helped you quiet impostor syndrome? #vulnerability #impostorsyndrome #anxiety #leadership

When you're comfortable, do you think in words or in ideas/visuals? I asked a client a question off-the-cuff. They looked up and started speaking right away while their eyes moved rapidly. Then they lost their train of thought. Searching for the "right" words will never give you the perfect response you're looking for. That's because the "right" words are a trap. Searching for words in your head creates a physical dissociation from your body. You almost always start holding your breath instead of creating flow of thinking (which happens naturally when you're comfortable). It also signals that you don't know what you want to say (but you do know what you want to say!) Plus, thinking visually helps you process information 4 to 400% faster than thinking in words. Do you get stuck trying to find the right words to sound a certain way? #communication #meetings #leadership

Navigating conflict with empathy and presence has always been important. But maybe it is more important now than ever. I took this course with Nicole Bauman and Good Work Institute last year. It was transformative. Nicole creates a warm and welcoming space to approach conflict with our full selves. Their approach was rooted in non-oppressive forces of empathy and it’s changed how I view and engage in conflict. I highly recommend this course - and you can even do it with teammates. #conflictnavigation #empathy https://lnkd.in/ebNcjfEY

Do you say too much when responding to questions? It's counterintuitive but as you gain more authority, it becomes even more important to distill, simplify, and unify your responses. In Collective this week, every single leader talked about this. How they want to be "thorough" and "comprehensive" when responding to questions but know the audience needs simplicity and clear direction instead. This is key if you're interviewing for senior level leadership roles, going from program manager or coordinator roles to Director, VP and above. You may think you have to prove all of your experience and expertise - but this can undermine your authority and dilute your vision as a leader. Instead of piling on (and then this... and then this...), leaders in Collective practiced centralizing their response around one big idea - I call this my golden nugget - it's like a headline for the response or the biggest thing you want your audience to remember or do. So if an interviewer asks you about yourself, don't list all the things you can do. Start with your mission - a singular vision of your impact. Don't pile on. Don't be thorough. Be singular. Be you. What helps you be concise when responding? #leadershipdevelopment #interviews #vision