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Communications, Collaboration, Community Service & Advocacy.

Doing something: Being Helpful and Being Supportive In the face of a difficult week for my city, there is an adage often attributed to children's television legend Fred Rogers - "Look for the helpers." The Atlantic posted a story by Ian Bogost about how this advice is great for children, but for adults - just looking for the helpers is insufficient. Bogost asserts that it's time to be a helper. Being a helper is something that everyone can do. It starts with being a good listener, with identifying a problem, with looking for collaborators who share a common goal, and with being obstinate in the execution of a carefully and thoughtfully laid plan. So much can change simply by listening. Really hearing what the people around you are saying. By paying careful attention to what they're saying and how they're saying it. One key thing to ask yourself when you're listening to a friend or colleague: Are they looking for help, or are they asking for support? Both things might be true, but they're seldom true at the same time. And the solution to either of these things (help, support) are often at odds. Helpful friends want to critique your strategy, offer you alternatives, encourage you to change your approach. But friends looking for support are often just in need of a safe place to vent. Judgement free moments of shared commiseration. Often they already know the solution to their problem, but they're unwilling or unable to act for reasons social, political, or personal. In those moments, just a "How can I best support you?" is incredibly effective. It's often hard for helpers to know that being supportive is a constructive activity, because you just want so badly to do something to make it all better. The act of listening seems so... well... inactive. The time for helping - for action, for doing - will come. When the time for doing comes along, however, we can no longer abdicate that responsibility. Don't wait a respectful amount of time to politicize a public need that's gone unnoticed. Get engaged. Talk to leaders and collaborate with them. Share your vision for something that will help your community be a better place to live. Gather people together in a neglected local park, or in front of a vacant building and ask why we can't improve this one place. Volunteer at a local non-profit, and donate what you can, when you can. If you're a great listener, train and become a counselor. Speak to your city councilperson. To your state representative. To your state senator. If they're not listening, or they're not interested, then run against them. But then... listen to your constituents. Really listen to them. When the times demand you do something, then do something. The time of adults looking for the helpers is coming to an end. It's time to become the helper that people look for.

Nathaniel Czerwin

Student at Michigan Technological University

7mo

I really like that distinction between helpers and supporters, but that it's important for both to listen well. Hidden Brain's recent episode "Are You Listening?" does an excellent job demonstrating the importance of good listening. Active listening naturally improves communication, but also reduces polarization in really interesting ways. Not only be the helper that others look for, be the listener that you look for.

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