Carpenter Smith Consulting, llc’s Post

"Shut Your Mouth" ***** This is what my friend said to me as we were walking through the park. "Hey, you can't say that to my wife," called my husband in a playful tone, not having heard the comment that preceded it. "I'm not even allowed to say that to my wife." Just prior, a gaggle of geese had flown over our heads, and as we all looked up to the sky, I’d said, "Don't look up, you might get pooped on." By “shut your mouth,” what our friend had actually meant was – if we all just shut our mouths, at least we won’t have to taste it. As we walked along the path, I continued to reflect and chuckle at the incident, and of course, as I do in most things, I found a connection to leadership. LEADERSHIP LESSON | Pay attention to the context… And everything is context. Everything we say and think and do is a stepping stone for what comes next. Taking things out of context leads to conflict, misunderstanding, story-making, and much worse as these reactions inform the next actions and decisions we make. As human beings we are born story tellers. We make up stories all day long, filling in the gaps of what we didn't hear, didn't see, or weren't privy to along the way. And while this helps us move forward in our lives, it can also be our downfall. As I often tell my clients, in the absence of information, people will make up stories. Rarely are these stories accurate, and rarely are they positive. So, beware of the stories you tell yourselves and others. When was the last time you took something out of context and made up a story about it? What was the result? "Check Your Story".

First, know your perception -- how peers at all levels see you. Second, increase your visibility. This magnifies the third point, your influence. https://lnkd.in/g5aY-qf #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershiptips #coaching #executivecoaching #leadershipcoaching #executivepresence

The Secret to Developing Your Career https://lnkd.in/g5aY-qf #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershiptips #coaching #executivecoaching #leadershipcoaching #executivepresence

Words are so powerful. Always consider the impact your word choice will have on the tone, direction, and outcome of an interaction.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜𝘀 𝗔 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗔 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻? - Quality questions promote a safe space for thoughtful reflection and dialogue about the issue at hand. The ability to ask these types of questions and truly listen is the foundation for building strong relationships and making better decisions. Unfortunately, we often ask questions that are not intended to increase our understanding but are really intended to advance our positions or share our judgments. 𝙒𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨? 𝙊𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣? 𝟭) 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗝𝗨𝗗𝗚𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 This type of question is damaging because it makes a judgment statement about the person or situation, in the guise of a question. These types of questions can provoke defensiveness in others. Below are examples. • Why do you always (or never)..? • Why are you not succeeding at ..? • How are you going to fix this mess? • Don’t you know better than..? • Why do they constantly fail at..? 𝟮) 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦 This type of question is dressed up like a question, but it is actually a statement about what you feel the person “should have done” in the past or “should do” in the future. It is important to understand the difference between when we are asking questions to increase understanding and when we are telling others what we think they should be doing. Below are examples. • Don’t you agree that . .? • Have you considered..? • Why don’t you..? • Isn't this so much better than..? • Do you know why that isn’t a good choice? We should strive to ask questions that promote thoughtful reflection on the topic or issue at hand. Quality questions help others feel included, respected, and safe to share their perspectives and ideas. Do you agree? Share your COMMENTS below. ⤵️ 𝗛𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 🔔 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 | Tony Gambill #careers #leadership #management #humanresources

I completely agree that the way we ask questions can truly impact the dynamics of a conversation. It's so important to ask questions that promote understanding and thoughtful reflection, rather than ones that provoke defensiveness or imply judgment. Thanks for sharing these valuable insights!

Don't Stay in Your Lane: The Secret to Developing Your Career https://lnkd.in/g5aY-qf #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershiptips #coaching #executivecoaching #leadershipcoaching #executivepresence

BLAME vs RESPONSIBILITY A fascinating concept, isn't it. I think it was Jack Canfield where I first understood the concept of taking 100% responsibility for everything in your life. A tough challenge when we are so easy to point the finger elsewhere! This article aims to dissect the nuanced differences between blame and responsibility, exploring their psychological underpinnings, societal implications, and the tangible impact on individual behaviour. By shedding light on how these concepts influence our interactions and self-perception, we seek to offer insights into transitioning from a blame-centric approach to one that champions responsibility. Through this exploration, readers will be equipped with the knowledge to foster healthier relationships, enhance personal development, and contribute positively to societal discourse. Join us as we delve into the transformative power of understanding and applying the principles of responsibility over blame in our lives. #personaldevelopment #leadership #management #mentalhealth #responsibility #personalleadership

WARNING: Beware! In your network, there lurks a deceiver. Disguised under the pretense of help, they seek their own devious gains. Yes, I've faced such betrayal. Why does this matter? Trust is the bedrock of all relationships, be it personal or professional. It's what we build with clients, colleagues, friends, and loved ones. Yet, in a fleeting moment, trust can shatter, turning life and work into a struggle. Trust is the belief in someone's reliability, integrity, and ability. It's about faith, hope, and confidence. But here’s the catch: trust can be as dangerous as it is powerful. It involves risk, the possibility of betrayal. And when trust breaks, it seeps into every aspect of our lives, affecting careers, businesses, and personal ties. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy nails it: Trusting means being vulnerable, optimistic, and believing in others’ competence. But remember, trust is crucial in all relationships. Never let a betrayal taint your faith in trust itself. Boost your team's performance with my keynote talks, trainings or coaching, focused on building trust and effective communication. Invite me for impactful leadership insights at your next event. #Empowerment #teamwork #EffectiveCommunication #Leadership #Trust #PersonalDevelopment #TeamDynamics #KeynoteSpeaker

The Power of Saying "I'm Sorry" – And Why I Do It Twice a Day If there's one phrase I’ve mastered in my professional journey, it’s “I’m sorry.” In fact, I probably say it at least twice a day. Yes, you read that right—twice a day! While it might sound excessive, it has taught me invaluable lessons about leadership and growth. Here’s why I believe in the power of a sincere apology: Building Trust: Owning up to mistakes, even minor ones, shows transparency and builds trust. It assures my colleagues and clients that I’m committed to honesty and accountability. Strengthening Relationships: Apologising is like hitting the reset button. It helps mend and often strengthen professional relationships, paving the way for open dialogue and mutual respect. Leading by Example: Acknowledging my errors sets a positive example. It encourages a culture where everyone feels safe to admit their mistakes and learn from them. Encouraging Growth: Every “I’m sorry” is an opportunity for growth. It prompts reflection and adaptation, helping me improve continually both personally and professionally. I’ve found that these daily apologies are not just about fixing mistakes—they’re about showing a commitment to bettering ourselves and our professional communities. #Leadership #ProfessionalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #Humility #Teamwork #LinkedInCommunity