Skaber bæredygtig integration for expat-familier i Danmark Netværksdannelse I DEI I Interkulturel kommunikation I Tosprogethed I Undervisning
Is the #Danish approach to #digitalization, free play and freedom with responsibility a good mix when it comes to raising children? 🤔 🖥 🌍 As a parent in Denmark, I am happy and extremely thankful for the focus on children’s free #play during their #childhood and when starting school. 🏫 I really grew up with - and am a firm believer in teaching children independence and “frihed under ansvar” – freedom with responsibility through play and interests, BUT… 🤔 In our digital age there is research showing that children stop playing by the age of 8 and in my personal experience this was the exact time when my oldest son stopped wishing for toys and only wanted computer games and supplies for his birthday. 💻 🎂 Furthermore, screen time in general is advised against for children under the age of 4! (Who can ever live up to that? 😥) And even after the age of four it is advised by Børns Vilkår that children have no screen time or limited screen time supervised by grown-ups. 👨👩👧👧 🖥 So, living in one of the countries, where there is and has been very little critical awareness of the influence #gaming, the internet and SOME have on our children; there hasn’t been many guidelines for parents – “a digital blind spot”, as Helen Russell, puts it in "How to Raise a Viking" (great book, by the way) - I am torn… ⌨ 🤔 Because what happens when we mix our playful, freedom with responsibility – approach to raising children in Denmark while letting our children loose on the internet with channels that are intuitively designed to make you addicted and that we know are not favoring children’s healthy development, to say the least? Should we be worried? 🤔 🖥 🌍 #expatfamily
Patrick K.
6mo
Has a father tha raised a boy where we played Minecraft together and then onto other games. The online community and the motor skills in gaming is amazing. It "feels" almost real when it is not. We ran into challenges when things my son at an issue with a real-relationship and didnt have the in person support network to help him(beyond us) that could help him. It is double edge sword and it puts more pressure onto us a parents not to let our children get "lost" in a virtual world
This is an(other) interesting and thought 💭 provoking post Elisa Sievers. My son who is almost 19 years old has been an avid gamer for probably the past 10 years. There was a period when we had difficulty with the length of time he spent gaming and at which hours (often from late night into the early morning). Luckily🍀 for us, he was mainly gaming with his close circle of friends from folkeskole. So he did not lose out on social interaction in that respect with his peers. But, I would say he became moody and difficult to “reach”, when we as his parents attempted to interact with him - especially when we set boundaries for when and how long he could game. One of the things that really helped (us all), was the opportunity for him to attend an Efterskole, which had gaming programme. Again, he developed deep social connections to other gaming enthusiasts. As he has matured, other interests such as paddle, basketball 🏀 and badminton 🏸 are taking up his time. So I do believe there is a balance for parents to find ways to help their children manage screen time and for our children to be able to mature and grow their interests. But I must admit, it has not been easy!
Nora Sørensen
6mo
Well, this where all parenting books kind of fail , ( besides the one written by Louis Weinstock , which I highly recommend) because there is not one answer to fit us all. How much we let our kids watch screens or not has more to do with knowing our selves, values and our own journey with trauma, then with some cultural generic standards. I read many books on parenting, healing, trauma, addiction as I am fascinated about us humans and how we do things. And each brought some awareness and solutions that we adapted to our own needs as a family. The best thing besides the books, the healing that we both have done as parents was to listen to our intuitions. I hope this helps. Sending love as being a parent is not an easy thing to do. 💚
Reading your post, Elisa Sievers, I tried to reflect on the "free play and freedom with responsibility" and how this aligns/misaligns with your comment about one boy being excluded because he did not have unlimited screen time. How is it that we Danes have a country where we are free to do as we please (as long as we are responsible) but we seem to have a high degree of peer pressure or conformity expectation in our society? I live in Switzerland, where compromise, community, and direct democracy are core values, and here, it seems, despite these values, the conformity expectation does not mean that we all have to "be" the same and there seems to be more tolerance between the children (and adults) when it comes to exclusion/inclusion factors.
Anatolie Cantir
6mo
I think the complications are somewhere else. As parent you can try to be very careful with screen time but what happens when your children see their peers using it, and then they want it to. And we know that we all want to belong to a group so we can survive. That is when the real dilemma comes in.
Maria Hein
6mo
Oh, this is a hard one! My graduate degree in child development doesn't provide any easy answers. There seems to be some consensus based on research in the US that too much individual screen time isolates children and young people from their peers. But gaming is a different experience because it has the opportunity of developing a community of like-minded players. I think I have to fall back on the age-old "all things in moderation" and know your child. It's too much to deny ALL screen exposure in this day and age but there probably do need to be reasonable limits. For instance, 30 minutes of screen time might be followed by 30 minutes of doing a craft or playing outdoors. That way, no one type of activity dominates. Just a thought.....
Kathrin Palm
6mo
I guess you have tackled a hot potato in Denmark 😬
Monika Pedersen
6mo
You pose an excellent question and one that doesn’t have an easy answer.
Systems & Application Advisor
6moThis is a really good post, but reading through the comments, I notice the topic is more nuanced. Trying, as a parent, to make a decision on what is best is seldom (I believe) found in blanket statments "Screen time is GOOD/BAD". Consider: -Screen time=is frequently used to refer to phones & gaming in the last 20/30 years. But the 20 years before that, parents faced the same problem with TV/CableTV & walkmans. -Benefits of gaming=Some might be motor skills, problem-solving skills & pattern-recognition skill. But one goal of parenting is that the children are better prepared for the their future. Few can argue against the fact that being having experience with IT & UI affects daily life. (Think of those who are 60+ & need help with WiFi, online banking, booking online). -Social bonding=Children need to train & learn social skills. Being involved with your peers is one aspect (Yes, a kid who doesn't participate in an activity that most of his friends are doing will feel left out, but this is not a new issue per say. Same thing happens when there is socioeconomics or cultural differences). On the other hand, our kids need to develop their interpersonal skills as well & gaming might pale in comparison to sports/other activities.