In part two of our Assertiveness Series Kelly talks about being "The Good Girl." She says, "As a child, I learned to survive my family system by being the good girl. I honed an ability to anticipate needs, and meet them. I could sense people’s moods and emotions, thus navigating my way around the invisible rules of engagement by pleasing, and dodging conflict. So as an adult I was conflict averse and an over-functioner, plus I had near-psychic abilities to anticipate needs and feel others’ feelings. Though at the time I could see nothing wrong with pleasing and being empathic, and I valued my heroic work ethic, these habits cost me a lot of relationships. I often grew resentful, even hostile. And I created entitlement and selfishness in good-hearted people. I used to say to my friends, “I create monsters”. These habits also cost me my health, and a business. At some point I realized that I had to change my relationship to assertiveness, boundaries and healthy self-entitlement if I was going to get anywhere in my life. I found there were very few resources out there that truly embraced the complexities of interpersonal dynamics, historic shaping of our personalities, and a deeply holistic and respectful way forward." Here's three ways to become more assertive: 1. Healthy self-entitlement starts with recognizing ways that you ‘trade yourself away’ in order to keep the peace, take care of others or simply diminish your needs. 2. Boundaries are not static, solid walls that you put up between you and another person. They are dynamic lines that distinguish you from another, and actually connect you to another through your authenticity. 3. Create a list of all the things that diminish your energy or dim your light. What do you learn? What do you need to say, “no” to? Her co-faciltator, EQUUS Faculty, Ram Charan and she created Assertiveness for Life and Leadership to support intelligent, kind and compassionate individuals take the next leap into their personal evolution. This course is a game changer. We are holding a conversation about Assertiveness on August 15th from 12-1pm MT. We hope to see you there! Register for the conversation here: https://lnkd.in/gZrUWxR3 Course details can be found here: https://lnkd.in/gXGdge-2 Subscribe to our emails to read more like this here: https://lnkd.in/gdW5YPuq #assertiveness #boundaries #overfunctioning #leader #leadership #equus
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Recently I have been reflecting on navigating the delicate balancing act that comes with juggling career aspirations, family responsibilities, and time for myself. It is a challenge that many of us face daily, striving to excel in our professional roles while also being present for our loved ones and ourselves. Navigating through the ups and downs of life can sometimes feel like walking on a tightrope, especially as a woman. We juggle countless responsibilities, navigate complex relationships, and strive to achieve our goals—all while staying true to ourselves. It can be a lot to handle at times. There are times when the pressure to meet deadlines or expectations placed on us both personally and professionally can leave us feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin. We may find ourselves saying yes to additional tasks or working late hours, all in an effort to prove our dedication and competence. However, there comes a point when we need to pause and reassess our priorities. We must recognize that our well-being must come first. Today I want to share what has helped me reclaim control over my time and energy. Click the link below to learn how to empower yourself through the art of assertiveness. https://lnkd.in/g6rCqW2k
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Helping introverted leaders communicate with confidence—without changing who they are. Proud introvert | 350+ clients | Global corporate trainer on communication skills. FREE webinar on the 29th ⬇️
5 simple ways to show more assertiveness 1. Recognise emotions when they're coming up- When we aren't aware of our emotions, we can let them drive us, which can often lead to us being either too passive or aggressive. 2. Stop over explaining yourself- I used to feel like I had to explain every word, just in case I said something wrong. 3. Don't fill in silences- I would often try to be assertive, but when there was an awkward silence, I would fill it with something like " Actually, it doesn't matter; we can do it another time" 4. Remind yourself of your needs- I used to say yes to things just because I felt guilty or didn't want to seem like I wasn't a hard worker. All this did was neglect my needs, causing me to feel overwhelmed. 5. Start asking for more of what you want- It may feel uncomfortable asking for something as you don't want to seem like the type who is a nuance, but remember you deserve to ask for what you want. What would you add to this? ⭐ P.S. I'm hosting a free live training on the 15th February to help introverted professionals struggling socially grow in confidence. Places are limited now. Link to join: https://lnkd.in/ewG_sqjS
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In my endeavor of personal and social development, I've come to appreciate assertiveness as an indispensable asset. It transcends mere vocalization; it embodies the art of articulating our needs and viewpoints with confidence and grace, all while upholding the dignity of others. Assertiveness serves as a catalyst for effective communication, fostering harmonious relationships, propelling career advancement, and instilling unwavering self-assurance. In today's fast-paced and competitive world, I firmly believe that assertiveness is not merely a desirable trait but a cornerstone of success. It requires the courage to advocate for our beliefs with unwavering conviction, yet the wisdom to embrace collaboration and compromise. It empowers us to carve our path, define our boundaries, and navigate life's complexities with poise and integrity. Let's harness its transformative power to step confidently into our authenticity, to boldly express our truths, and to assert our inherent worth with elegance and assurance. Together, let us cultivate a culture where assertiveness reigns, empowering us all to thrive in every facet of life.
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Corporate Trainer on People & Process Alignment | Business Networker | Manufacturer of Air Fresheners
𝑨𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑺𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒔 Continuing from my previous post, let's discuss Assertiveness as a skill. #assertiveness is an ability to express your stand/opinion/desires/feelings by exerting your rights & while doing so understanding that others have equal rights. Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the time but it does not mean that one always gets what he/she wants. The result of being assertive is that ~ You feel good about yourself ~ Other people know how to deal with you and there is nothing vague about dealing with you To assert yourself, 1. Identify and understand your own need, opinion, objective & it should be CLEAR 2. Cross check frequently whether your need or opinion is in cohesion with ‘Greater Common Good’. If yes, feel that confidence from within 3. Express this need, desire or opinion. Use effective communication skills for such an expression 4. Be calm, patient and follow up on a consistent basis till you get the response 5. Accept the praise or criticism that you get in response 6. Be firm on the opinion or stand expressed & follow up Knowledge of our RIGHTS ~ Right to have our own dreams and working to achieve the same ~ Self respect, having our own values, opinions and feelings ~ To decide the kind of treatment that we feel like getting and expressing the same to others ~ To say, “No”, “Don’t know”, “Didn’t understand” ~ To ask for information and support ~ To commit mistakes and learn from them, change opinions ~ To secure our relationships and also to end them ~ To decide how to live our own life Is this difficult for you? 1. Praising others with open mind 2. Accepting praise 3. Expressing negative feelings 4. Saying “No” to the requests made 5. Registering the complaints 6. Asking for help, support 7. Listening to and accepting criticism 8. Facing ‘anger’ expressed by others If yes, please remember ~ Securing and exerting your rights does not mean selfishness ~ It is not necessary that everyone should like you ~ No need to feel that “if I don’t take aggressive stand, people will take me for granted” ~ One can practice To become ‘Assertive’. You just need to be willing & prepared These techniques help... ~ Creativity & humor in right amount & at the right time ~ Negotiation skills ~ Effective communication skills ~ Lobbying, raising support ~ Taking responsibility of your decisions & their impacts ~ saying “No” when you want to say so Would like to sharpen your assertiveness skills? If you are looking for personal hand-holding, I am just a DM away. You will additionally get a toolkit to manage your negative emotions. #vindathecatalyst
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Awarded Founder. I do Business Development, Communications & Events for companies and organizations. I like to talk about Climate | Geopolitics | Startups | Leadership 🇲🇽 🇩🇪🇦🇹 📍
Imagine being sick of saying "yes" to everything, feeling like a doormat for everyone's requests. That's what Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, is here to crush. Here are 10 lessons from this book: 1. Bye-Bye Mr. Nice Guy: This book is your wake-up call to stop apologizing for existing and start respecting yourself. It's all about taking charge and building healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy. 2. You Got This: The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is big on taking responsibility for your life. It helps you stop blaming others and teaches you the power of making your own choices and taking action towards your goals. 3. Silencing the Gremlins: We all have that nagging voice in our head telling us we're not good enough. This book helps you identify those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn to shut them down and replace them with confidence-boosting mantras. 4. "No" Can Be Beautiful: Saying "no" is a superpower! This book teaches you how to decline requests politely but firmly. No more feeling obligated to explain yourself to everyone. 5. Building Your Fortress: Learn to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, from work to friendships. This book equips you with the tools to protect yourself from people-pleasing and allows you to focus on what truly matters to you. 6. The "I" Power: Communication is key, and this book teaches you how to express yourself clearly and directly. You'll learn to use "I" statements to communicate your needs and feelings without sounding accusatory. 7. Body Language Boss: Your body language can say a lot, even if you don't say a word. This book teaches you how to project confidence through posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. 8. Nice vs. Nasty: There's a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This book helps you find the sweet spot where you can communicate your needs firmly but respectfully, even in tough situations. 9. Dealing with Difficult People: Not everyone will be happy with your newfound assertiveness. This book equips you with strategies for handling manipulators, drama queens, and other energy-drainers. 10. Baby Steps to Big Wins: Becoming assertive takes practice. This book acknowledges that there will be setbacks, but it also encourages you to celebrate your progress. It provides tools to help you get back on track and stay committed to your journey.
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Strategy and Policy Manager at LEADSTAR COLLEGE OF MANAGEMENT AND LEADERSHIP and LEADSTAR THEOLOGICAL COLLEGE
Imagine being sick of saying "yes" to everything, feeling like a doormat for everyone's requests. That's what Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, is here to crush. Here are 10 lessons from this book: 1. Bye-Bye Mr. Nice Guy: This book is your wake-up call to stop apologizing for existing and start respecting yourself. It's all about taking charge and building healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy. 2. You Got This: The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is big on taking responsibility for your life. It helps you stop blaming others and teaches you the power of making your own choices and taking action towards your goals. 3. Silencing the Gremlins: We all have that nagging voice in our head telling us we're not good enough. This book helps you identify those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn to shut them down and replace them with confidence-boosting mantras. 4. "No" Can Be Beautiful: Saying "no" is a superpower! This book teaches you how to decline requests politely but firmly. No more feeling obligated to explain yourself to everyone. 5. Building Your Fortress: Learn to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, from work to friendships. This book equips you with the tools to protect yourself from people-pleasing and allows you to focus on what truly matters to you. 6. The "I" Power: Communication is key, and this book teaches you how to express yourself clearly and directly. You'll learn to use "I" statements to communicate your needs and feelings without sounding accusatory. 7. Body Language Boss: Your body language can say a lot, even if you don't say a word. This book teaches you how to project confidence through posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. 8. Nice vs. Nasty: There's a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This book helps you find the sweet spot where you can communicate your needs firmly but respectfully, even in tough situations. 9. Dealing with Difficult People: Not everyone will be happy with your newfound assertiveness. This book equips you with strategies for handling manipulators, drama queens, and other energy-drainers. 10. Baby Steps to Big Wins: Becoming assertive takes practice. This book acknowledges that there will be setbacks, but it also encourages you to celebrate your progress. It provides tools to help you get back on track and stay committed to your journey. Thanks for reading 📚 🙏
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Imagine being sick of saying "yes" to everything, feeling like a doormat for everyone's requests. That's what Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, is here to crush. Here are 10 lessons from this book: 1. Bye-Bye Mr. Nice Guy: This book is your wake-up call to stop apologizing for existing and start respecting yourself. It's all about taking charge and building healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy. 2. You Got This: The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is big on taking responsibility for your life. It helps you stop blaming others and teaches you the power of making your own choices and taking action towards your goals. 3. Silencing the Gremlins: We all have that nagging voice in our head telling us we're not good enough. This book helps you identify those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn to shut them down and replace them with confidence-boosting mantras. 4. "No" Can Be Beautiful: Saying "no" is a superpower! This book teaches you how to decline requests politely but firmly. No more feeling obligated to explain yourself to everyone. 5. Building Your Fortress: Learn to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, from work to friendships. This book equips you with the tools to protect yourself from people-pleasing and allows you to focus on what truly matters to you. 6. The "I" Power: Communication is key, and this book teaches you how to express yourself clearly and directly. You'll learn to use "I" statements to communicate your needs and feelings without sounding accusatory. 7. Body Language Boss: Your body language can say a lot, even if you don't say a word. This book teaches you how to project confidence through posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. 8. Nice vs. Nasty: There's a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This book helps you find the sweet spot where you can communicate your needs firmly but respectfully, even in tough situations. 9. Dealing with Difficult People: Not everyone will be happy with your newfound assertiveness. This book equips you with strategies for handling manipulators, drama queens, and other energy-drainers. 10. Baby Steps to Big Wins: Becoming assertive takes practice. This book acknowledges that there will be setbacks, but it also encourages you to celebrate your progress. It provides tools to help you get back on track and stay committed to your journey.
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Imagine being sick of saying "yes" to everything, feeling like a doormat for everyone's requests. That's what Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, is here to crush. Here are 10 lessons from this book: 1. Bye-Bye Mr. Nice Guy: This book is your wake-up call to stop apologizing for existing and start respecting yourself. It's all about taking charge and building healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy. 2. You Got This: The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is big on taking responsibility for your life. It helps you stop blaming others and teaches you the power of making your own choices and taking action towards your goals. 3. Silencing the Gremlins: We all have that nagging voice in our head telling us we're not good enough. This book helps you identify those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn to shut them down and replace them with confidence-boosting mantras. 4. "No" Can Be Beautiful: Saying "no" is a superpower! This book teaches you how to decline requests politely but firmly. No more feeling obligated to explain yourself to everyone. 5. Building Your Fortress: Learn to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, from work to friendships. This book equips you with the tools to protect yourself from people-pleasing and allows you to focus on what truly matters to you. 6. The "I" Power: Communication is key, and this book teaches you how to express yourself clearly and directly. You'll learn to use "I" statements to communicate your needs and feelings without sounding accusatory. 7. Body Language Boss: Your body language can say a lot, even if you don't say a word. This book teaches you how to project confidence through posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. 8. Nice vs. Nasty: There's a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This book helps you find the sweet spot where you can communicate your needs firmly but respectfully, even in tough situations. 9. Dealing with Difficult People: Not everyone will be happy with your newfound assertiveness. This book equips you with strategies for handling manipulators, drama queens, and other energy-drainers. 10. Baby Steps to Big Wins: Becoming assertive takes practice. This book acknowledges that there will be setbacks, but it also encourages you to celebrate your progress. It provides tools to help you get back on track and stay committed to your journey.
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MA Applied Psychology: Positive & Coaching Psychology Professional Development Consultant + Executive Coach | Helping professionals to reach their full potential through high impact training + coaching
🌟 Mastering Assertiveness: Empower Your Voice 🌟 Do you struggle to assert yourself without feeling guilty or anxious? Are you regularly saying "yes" when you really mean "no"? Are you frequently trying to please others to avoid conflict and keep them happy? You may experience short-term benefits of people-pleasing and avoiding conflict, but over the longer term, non-assertion is likely to have negative consequences for your self-esteem and confidence. Assertiveness isn't just about speaking up - it's about communicating your needs and boundaries with confidence while respecting the rights of others. Here's how you can develop this essential skill: 🚀 Step 1: Recognise Your Worth: Embrace the fact that you deserve respect and that your needs are just as valid as everyone else’s. 🚀 Step 2: Confident Body Language: Stand tall, maintain eye contact, and keep a relaxed demeanor. Your posture speaks volumes. 🚀 Step 3: Clear Communication: Use "I" statements to express your needs and intentions. Be direct and avoid ambiguity. Slow your speech down and keep a level tone. Make sure your voice is projected at the right level where you can be heard. 🚀 Step 4: Personal Agency: Shift from "have" to "want" to assert your desires and intentions. Take ownership of your choices. For example, Instead of saying “I have to upskill on this,” say “I want to enhance my skills and would like to attend the training.” 🚀 Step 5: Simplify Your Language: Keep your message concise and straightforward. Avoid using extreme terms like "always" or "never". For example , saying “I never have enough time” will undermine your credibility. 🚀 Step 6: Offer Solutions: Don't just point out problems - propose constructive solutions. Be proactive in finding resolutions. e.g. “I would be happy to do that, but that could mean that the piece of work you asked me to do earlier will be at risk of not being completed on time. Would you like me to reprioritize and work on this new task instead?” 🚀 Step 7: Reflect and Learn: Evaluate outcomes, identify successes, and areas for improvement. Every experience is an opportunity to grow. Think about situations where you want to be more assertive - whether it's in interactions with authority figures, expressing your opinions in group settings, or setting boundaries in your personal relationships. Unlock your assertiveness and watch your confidence soar! I've also started sharing bite sized content/videos on Instagram @positivitypaul and would love to see you there! 😊 https://buff.ly/3xsSC9X. #Assertiveness #ConfidenceBuilding #PersonalDevelopment
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Imagine being sick of saying "yes" to everything, feeling like a doormat for everyone's requests. That's what Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, is here to crush. Here are 10 lessons from this book: 1. Bye-Bye Mr. Nice Guy: This book is your wake-up call to stop apologizing for existing and start respecting yourself. It's all about taking charge and building healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy. 2. You Got This: The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is big on taking responsibility for your life. It helps you stop blaming others and teaches you the power of making your own choices and taking action towards your goals. 3. Silencing the Gremlins: We all have that nagging voice in our head telling us we're not good enough. This book helps you identify those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn to shut them down and replace them with confidence-boosting mantras. 4. "No" Can Be Beautiful: Saying "no" is a superpower! This book teaches you how to decline requests politely but firmly. No more feeling obligated to explain yourself to everyone. 5. Building Your Fortress: Learn to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, from work to friendships. This book equips you with the tools to protect yourself from people-pleasing and allows you to focus on what truly matters to you. 6. The "I" Power: Communication is key, and this book teaches you how to express yourself clearly and directly. You'll learn to use "I" statements to communicate your needs and feelings without sounding accusatory. 7. Body Language Boss: Your body language can say a lot, even if you don't say a word. This book teaches you how to project confidence through posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. 8. Nice vs. Nasty: There's a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This book helps you find the sweet spot where you can communicate your needs firmly but respectfully, even in tough situations. 9. Dealing with Difficult People: Not everyone will be happy with your newfound assertiveness. This book equips you with strategies for handling manipulators, drama queens, and other energy-drainers. 10. Baby Steps to Big Wins: Becoming assertive takes practice. This book acknowledges that there will be setbacks, but it also encourages you to celebrate your progress. It provides tools to help you get back on track and stay committed to your journey.
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