Training Therapists to Achieve Excellence in Practice | Founder & Clinical Director @integrativepsych.co | Trauma Therapist Educator | Join our JAN Trauma Training Cohort ⬇️ | Book Launch Feb 2025 ✨
Parents... am I right? Okay, therapist, who else can relate to this scenario: After months of working with a client, you finally see some progress. Your client is on their path to healing, and you're excited to guide them through it. And then... The parents get in the way. I had a consultation with a fellow therapist, let's call her Leah, who was frustrated over her 8-year-old client's father. To summarize, the dad's difficulty with self-regulation was taking precedence over his son's anxiety treatment, and the son's healing was taking the backseat as a consequence. As a result, Leah felt the need to "save" the dad when the therapy session was for the son. What should she do here? I reminded Leah that she needed to redirect the focus of the treatment to her client's treatment. So we came up with a game plan (that you can totally use, too, if you're in a similar situation): 💚 Set boundaries with the parents. Remind them the focus of these sessions is on their child. 💚 Communicate. You can even write a script to ensure you say what you need. 💚 Be firm and respectful. We don't want to invalidate the parents' struggles nor disregard their worries and fears. 💚 Seek clinical consultation if needed. If you're looking for more tips to help you navigate tricky situations in the therapy room, sign up for my FREE Masterclass this Monday Comment MASTERCLASS ⬇️ to get direct access to the class. Yes a recording will be sent if you sign up and can’t make it live Esther Goldstein LCSW #therapiststruggles #therapysessions #counsellingskills #talktherapy #counsellors #therapists #healinghands #lcsw #traumahealing #healingfromtrauma
How do you deal with this? Avrohom Leffler LCSW Beth Tyson 🧠 Chris Aiken, MD Dr. Noah Kass, LCSW Dr. Russell Surasky Ejaz Ahmad Dr. Faith Galliano Desai Bob Hudson (LION™) Lisa R. Birnbaum, LCSW Maria-Paz Ochoa Niharika Bajpai Lawrence Owusu Fianko Payal Shrivastava Stephanie Rios MS LMHC-QS Rachida Elhannaoui
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Hailey Mitchell thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing Madhulika Korde!
Thank you for including me. I love this discussion and the practical tips. If I’m working with a child I require the parents to commit to weekly parenting sessions so that I can work with the parent on strategies to help the child. I believe the key to improving relationships, doesn’t matter the type, is emotional regulation. When we are stressed and overwhelmed and feeling shame, guilt or anger, our defensive parts take over. It is nearly impossible to show compassion and grace towards yourself and your child. Before a family session, I will have a call with the parents. This is where I set the boundaries for the meeting. That way in the session it is easier for me to redirect the parent and help the client find their voice. In order for therapy to work, the child has to feel like it’s theirs. They have to feel like this is for them, not just that we’re doing this because they were “forced to” talk with family members.
Don Hunter
7mo
Thanks for this post Esther. In my work I have come across this issue of parent interference frequently. I appreciate the suggestions for managing this… I have found the best way for me to address this is directly with the parent(s). I reframe their interference as a powerful desire to help (positive intention) and then share in what ways their actions actually work against their sons healing. Sometimes this led to a couple of parent sessions to explore better options for supporting their child’s treatment. There is a saying in EFT - treat the parents - heal the child.🙏
Esther Goldstein LCSW great guidance! That’s a very challenging situation. Absolutely, the therapist has to be assertive and make sure is in control of the session. And not being “ scared “ of the father. All those are great. And if the work can be done with both of them in the room together, can even be more powerful and change the family system in a positive way! Another option would be to work with the child individually, without the parent present.
Well, I'm not a therapist, but my therapist told me to cut ties with my abusive father and as a result, he can no longer manipulate or control me.
Essie F.
7mo
Esther, I found this to be especially true in the addiction community as well as the Disordered eating communities…it can be a huge barrier to success. I have found (my view) that continually strengthening the patient’s own voice with role playing etc. has been impactful. Great post!!🎯
Training Therapists to Achieve Excellence in Practice | Founder & Clinical Director @integrativepsych.co | Trauma Therapist Educator | Join our JAN Trauma Training Cohort ⬇️ | Book Launch Feb 2025 ✨
7moApply here https://www.traumatherapists.co/trauma-training-course