FASD Ireland’s Post

I love learning, always have, but these days I do as much 'CPD' for my role as a parent as for my roles as a psychologist and franchisor. Hence the elecletic mix of books I have on the go currently! In fact, come to think of it I do much more learning about parenting now than I did when I actually worked as a Child Psychologist... and when my first child was born 11 years ago. As somebody whose time is squeezed each and everyday, balancing the demands of running a clinic franchise network with 3 children (ranging from 11 years to 2 years), I find it more important than ever that I make that time to prioritise my learning - including about how I'm parenting. Because when you're a career person - busy and sometimes stressed and worn out, it's harder than ever to be the parent you want to be and to give what you want to give to your children. When you're exhausted and your mind is in a thousand different places, you default to your factory settings. You default to the parenting that you know isn't great but just slips out. That's right the "YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" type parenting. You know what I mean, you've been there. And as we all know, the guilt of sub optimal parenting can be overwhelming at times and you find yourself (despite the love you have of your career and business) to start dreaming of a life where you were just a parent and nothing else. I mean, obviously then we'd all be the world's greatest parents right?! For me, what really helps is to keep learning .... and reflecting about what I'm doing, what I'm not doing towards the children's needs... and why. To constantly keep an open mind about what I could do diferently. I know I can't be everything I want to be and do everything I want to do with my children, but I can make small changes that mean a lot. I can make little commitments to myself like special time with middle child, or sporty time with eldest child, or snuggle all night time with the littlest. I can consciously correct my bad habits like the "if you haven't said sorry to your brother by the time I count to three..." and the "if you don't do this now I'm getting Daddy" type habits (sorry Daddy, you're not actually the baddy). Because when a massive part of your life is work and the business that you've created, you have to work extra hard to keep what's important at the centre. If this resonates with you - whether in respect to parenting or something else in your life- find your own way to stop and reflect. And maybe grab a cuppa and a good book to bring the important things in your life into focus. 💜 #psychologist #parent #entrepreneur

⛔ Keep away from children. ⛔ Don't imagine that I am not child friendly, far from it! 🥰 It's not that I don't like them — just that I no longer teach them. Periodically I am contacted by parents who want me to teach (or tame) their children. They have lost control. Little Freddie has transformed into Freddie Krueger and is trying to take over the house. Can I help? Well yes, I have helped lots of people in this way, but not in the way they imagine. I don't offer training or teaching for children. The problem here is that parenting teens (and teaching them) involves a different skill set. I teach parents new skills to tackle new challenges. The first thing they usually say is they wish they had known these things when the kids were small! 🤱 (And one midwife I trained wanted me to teach pregnant women! 🤰 I don't mind. If they ask I can deliver!) Training always starts with self-knowledge and learning a few basic techniques. Once the parents are feeling better, we start applying the same understanding to family life. Things soon feel much better all round. My favourite approach is to work with both parents together, but it may just be one, which is okay. I equip them with a new understanding, a new language for discussing emotional events, and the skills they need to make changes. It can take a while for the kids to catch on to the new language, and notice the techniques, but they soon do. One mother reported that, when she was getting wound up, her son recommended the technique dad usually mentioned. She burst out laughing. 🤣 Putting emotional literacy and skills into the home is game changing, but you need to pitch to your audience. 👶Small children do not yet have the emotional override systems in place for self-regulation. You need to regulate them, and later teach them techniques to recognize and deal with high energy feelings. 🧒 👦From about seven years you can introduce self-regulation to override drive states. (If you know how.) 🧑Teens are experiencing a total change of biology and significant shifts in mental focus. They need structure they can count on, new knowledge, and simple techniques to cope with raging hormones.👨 Wouldn't it be great to have learned them already, before they caught fire? 🔥 The takeaway from this is yes – that skills matter. But also don't blame the child for the lack of skills of the adult. It can be pretty horrible being a teenager. If you recall...? #CampbellEducation #TheEngineHouse #EmotionalLiteracy #training

My brain likes to spend at least some time each day over-thinking things people have said and most recently my over-thinking has been focused on the Ross Greene training and the questions people asked him. The questions being asked have made me think that there is a step missing in the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach or a step that needs to occur before attempting this approach. For context, the CPS approach talks about using a Plan B approach when a child is struggling instead of Plan A. Plan A is when the adult decides on a solution and then tells a child what to do e.g. "you have to", "you must listen to me" and this is the approach that a lot of people parenting now were raised with. Plan B is a collaborative problem solving process where you understand your child's concerns, they hear your concerns and you agree on a mutually beneficial solution. Back to my over thinking - I wonder if the gap between plan A and plan B is just too big for some people to jump over on their own and this is where a lot of issues with implementation of the approach arise. This generation of parents are the ones that have to jump over that massive gap because they are changing styles of parenting from the generation before and it's such a massive responsibility and such hard work that involves so much self reflection and learning. A lot of the questions being asked during the training day almost felt like they were being asked by kids trying to justify the parenting styles that were used when they were growing up and the values that have been internalised as a result of this. There is so much to unpack there before someone can look at truly integrating the change for their own kids. Maybe we need to nurture and problem solve with our internalised child before moving on to doing this successfully with our children. For those parents attempting the Plan B conversations this week be brave, be strong and know you are doing the absolute best that you can. ❤️

Learning How to be a Good Parent. Effective parenting is crucial for creating a brighter future for children. It is noteworthy that individuals undergo extensive training to become professionals in various fields, such as medicine, accounting, and technology. Yet, when it comes to parenting, a vital role that shapes future generations, many people tend to wing it without adequate preparation. This lack of preparation has far-reaching consequences, contributing to the cycle of poverty and trauma among children. To break this cycle, it is essential to prioritize learning how to be good parents. Online educational platforms offer accessible courses on child psychology and parenting. These courses can equip prospective parents with the knowledge and skills needed to nurture their children effectively. Neglect, one of the leading causes of mental health issues in adults, often stems from adverse childhood experiences. By investing time in learning about child development and effective parenting techniques, individuals can prevent neglect and its long-term consequences

Join The 2024 Advanced Practitioner Credential Training Program   Meeting Remote and Hybrid: Wednesdays June 5th - 26th 9:00 AM to Noontime PST   Fee: $200.00    DETAILS >> https://lnkd.in/eZKpwPjG   Advanced Practitioner Credential Program. Unlocking Unlimited Possibilities™, providing 11 modules and practicum to diverse professionals globally. This course is designed to suit practitioners, educators, Head Start staff, social workers, and professionals in child welfare, early childhood, marriage and family therapy, social work, criminal justice, psychology, educators, counselors, and fatherhood practitioners. It is a dynamic, integrated 15-hour training program built on the core competencies from these professional fields, ensuring its relevance and applicability to your specific role. Call 424-225-1323 for Support We are building bridges of opportunities as our call for finding causes bigger than self! Come join us! #ffca #fathersandfamiliescoalitionofamerica #fathers #families #summerspecialtytraining #advancedpractitionercredentialcourse #advancedpractitionerprogram #specialcourse #registernow #CIHSS #practitioners #educators #headstart #socialworkers #professionals #childwelfare #criminaljustice #psychology #educators #counselors #fatherhoodpractitioners #registertoday #enrollment #professionalgrowth #children #parents #professionals #professionalgrowth #goalsetting #trauma #traumabonding #disc #relationships #motivational #culturabending #advancedpractices #kintsigui #ikigai

Effective Parenting 2 Being a good role model I believe most children follow what their parents do more than what they say. I wish to be a good role model for my children. I want them to also 1) be lifetime learners, 2) keep calm when faced with problems, 3) be bold when tackling challenges, 4) persevere amid difficulties … etc. When I decide to do something, I will apply myself and strive to accomplish it. I draw their attention to the fact that it's worth putting an effort into making their choices into the correct decisions. My attending a coaching course demonstrated to them how I approach new projects and learning from scratch. I had to read books and articles and write assignments. When I decided to run 10km as my personal goal, I shared with them every little progress I made to illustrate that achieving goals needs to be carried out in many small steps. When we started learning to ski together, I had to step out of my comfort zone, but I never gave up and persevered. I believe pushing children to something is not the effective way. It is better to motivate and inspire them by demonstrating how we go about life's challenges. Caring for their feelings When my children faced difficulties and challenges, I listened to them, comforted them, and encouraged them. People who know me probably think that I am quite calm and with high emotional intelligence. At work, I normally won’t show emotions because my focus was on problem-solving. At home, I always explain the rationale to my children with patience. Occasionally, my daughter tested my limits with poor attitude or illogical arguments. Sometimes, I would lose my composure even though I normally tend to avoid conflict, especially with my lovable children. Afterwards, when calm, I would apologise and explain the reason for losing control. I would stress that consensus is not always possible due to our distinct personalities, preferences, and values. However, regardless of difference of opinion, we should always communicate in non-violent ways, understand each other’s limits and respect boundaries. Because ultimately, the important thing after all quarrels is to repair the relationship and restore harmony. Supporting and encouraging Our support and encouragement are crucial to shaping our children's self-esteem and self-worth. Praise and recognition will help them build confidence. As a parent, we need to help them recognise their feelings and empower them to reject things or situations that are inappropriate or that make them uncomfortable. We can help them to identify their strengths and weaknesses in a constructive non-judgemental way. By knowing what they are good at, they are will be more accepting of their weaknesses and more likely to focus on improvement. Ultimately, we want our children to be happy and fulfilled on whatever path they choose. By understanding their desires and offering support and encouragement we are contributing to their resolve to achieve their goals and dreams.

🌟 Unlock the Power of Incentive-Based Positive Reinforcement with Eleva8 Mentoring In the world of parenting, finding the right approach to guide your children into becoming well-rounded young adults can be a game-changer. One proven method stands out for its effectiveness: incentive-based positive reinforcement. Why Choose Positive Reinforcement? This approach isn’t just about rewarding good behavior; it’s about nurturing a positive environment where children learn the value of their actions. It’s a parenting style that fosters mental, emotional, and physical wellness in children, guiding them to become responsible, confident, and happy adults. Benefits of Incentive-Based Positive Reinforcement: Builds Self-Esteem: Rewards for positive behaviors encourage self-belief and a sense of achievement. Encourages Good Behavior: Incentives motivate children to repeat good behaviors, understanding their positive impact. Strengthens Parent-Child Bonds: This approach creates a nurturing and supportive relationship, essential for healthy development. At Eleva8 Mentoring, we specialize in helping parents master this style of parenting. We provide you with the tools and strategies to implement incentive-based positive reinforcement effectively, tailored to your family’s needs. Ready to Transform Your Parenting Approach? If you’re looking to embrace a method that truly works for raising mentally, emotionally, and physically well-rounded children, we’re here to help. 👉 Reach out to us at eleva8mentoring.com.au for your free consultation. Let's work together to bring out the best in your children and set them on a path to success and well-being. Eleva8 Mentoring - Fostering Positive Growth, One Family at a Time. #consulting #happyfamily #complextrauma #mentalhealth #thefuture #parentmentor #mentalhealthdignosis #childbehaviourexpert #happy #complexbehaviours #eleva8mentoring #behaviour

Steps to Help Parents Manage Emotions During Child Discipline Number 3: Setting Realistic Expectations For Disciplining Children In child discipline, it is important to have realistic expectations and realize that mistakes are a necessary part of their development. Even adults make mistake. So, instead of viewing their actions as personal attacks or disrespect, understand that they are still learning to understand about the world around them and how to behave. That's why teaching them patiently is important. But when you adjust expectations to match their developmental stage and focus on guiding them rather than punishment, you can create a more supportive and understanding environment. Here's how to implement this approach: 💧Understand Your Child's Development: Children's abilities differ greatly depending on their age. Recognizing these developmental differences helps parents anticipate challenges and respond patiently. 💧See Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Every mistake is a chance for children to learn and grow. Instead of expecting immediate perfection, view each interaction as a step in the learning process. This reduces parental frustration and allows for guidance-based discipline 💧Acknowledge Progress: Celebrate even small improvements in your child's behaviour. If a child who usually shouts lowers their voice after a reminder, acknowledge this progress. Recognizing these positive steps reinforces good behaviour and encourages the child, preventing them from feeling defeated by their mistakes. 💧Adjust Consequences Accordingly: When a child makes a mistake without harmful intent, such as forgetting to clean up, opt for gentle reminders or mild consequences instead of harsh punishments. This approach aligns discipline with their understanding and maintains realistic expectations. When parents set realistic expectations and embrace a patient and understanding approach, they can create a more supportive disciplinary environment that encourages growth and reduces stress for both themselves and their children. I will share these steps about four of them till Sunday. And we are on the third day. In case you miss any follow my page to have access to them. Please like, share your thoughts at the comment section and share this post. © Benjamin Okoro Parenting Coach | Author

My Journey from a Primary School Teacher to a Parenting Coach: Here’s What I’ve Learned About Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children Transitioning from a primary school teacher to a parenting coach has been an enlightening journey, filled with profound insights and invaluable lessons. One of the most significant areas of growth for me has been in understanding and teaching emotional intelligence to children. Here are some lessons I've learned along the way: 1. Emotional Literacy is Foundational The first step in teaching EI is helping children develop an emotional vocabulary. As a teacher, I often integrated emotions into everyday lessons, encouraging students to name their feelings. This practice laid the groundwork for self-awareness, a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. 2. Modeling Emotional Regulation Children learn by observing adults. By modeling calm and constructive responses to stress and conflict, I was able to demonstrate emotional regulation in real time. As a parenting coach, I emphasize the importance of parents embodying the behaviors they wish to see in their children. 3. Creating Safe Spaces Creating an environment where children feel safe to express their emotions is crucial. When children know they can share their feelings without fear of judgment, they are more likely to develop healthy emotional habits. 4. Empathy Can Be Taught Teaching children to understand and empathize with others has long-lasting benefits. In my experience, activities that promote perspective-taking—such as storytelling and role-playing—are effective tools. Empathy not only strengthens social bonds but also fosters a compassionate and inclusive mindset. 5. The Power of Positive Reinforcement Recognizing and celebrating children’s efforts to manage their emotions positively reinforces those behaviours. Whether it’s through praise, rewards, or simply acknowledging their growth, positive reinforcement helps children internalize the value of emotional intelligence. 6. Continuous Learning and Adaptation The journey from teacher to coach has underscored the importance of continuous learning and adaptation. Staying informed about the latest research in child psychology and emotional intelligence allows me to refine my approaches and provide the best support for children and their families. Teaching emotional intelligence to children is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to nurturing the whole child. My journey has taught me that while academic achievements are important, fostering emotional intelligence is equally crucial for a child's overall development and future success. As I continue this journey, I am dedicated to empowering parents and educators with the tools and knowledge to raise emotionally intelligent children. Will you be joining me? #EmotionalIntelligence #ChildDevelopment #Parenting #Education #MindfulParenting #Empathy #EmotionalGrowth #ParentCoachDubai