Radu Florin’s Post

Who’s got time for technical details? If your SEO specialist starts talking about things like page speed, crawl errors, or site structure, just tell them to focus on the “fun” stuff. Technical SEO is just a distraction! If your site is slow and riddled with errors, it’s probably because you’re smart enough to ignore technical SEO. Skip those tedious technical audits. It’s not like site speed or crawlability actually matter, right? I’ve seen sites tank because they ignored technical SEO. If failure is your goal, this is the perfect way to achieve it.

Your SEO specialist keeps talking about backlinks? Yawn. Just tell them backlinks are a thing of the past. Who needs endorsements from other sites when you can just go it alone? Backlinks are for chumps. If you want to stay buried in search results, avoid building any connections. Ignore any advice about earning quality backlinks. Just focus on your own site, because clearly, search engines won’t notice! Backlinks are crucial, but hey, if you’re aiming for SEO failure, it makes sense to avoid them entirely.

In 2024, the landscape of Google Ads and PPC evolves rapidly. 

Content quality? Pfft. Just tell your SEO specialist to churn out as many blog posts as possible, regardless of quality. Quantity over quality, every time! If you want high bounce rates and low engagement, focus on quantity. Quality is so overrated. Ignore the idea that content needs to be valuable or relevant. If it’s got keywords, it’s good enough, right? I’ve seen businesses hurt their brand and rankings by pumping out low-quality content. If that’s your goal, you’re on the right track.

Why bother with mobile optimization? Just tell your SEO specialist to focus on desktop users—everyone knows that’s where the real traffic is! Who cares if more than half of web traffic comes from mobile? If you want to alienate a huge chunk of your audience, ignoring mobile optimization is the way to go. Make sure your site looks great on desktop, and forget about the rest. After all, mobile users are just a fad, right? Me: It’s amazing how many people still ignore mobile. If you want to tank your SEO, neglecting mobile users is a brilliant strategy.

Oh, the digital world in Brighton is buzzing! You've got these SEO agencies like BrandPublic and others that are basically wizards when it comes to boosting your online presence.

Local SEO isn't just a small part of what we do; it's key to connecting with your community. It's all about showing up where and when it matters—like being right there in the search results when someone is desperately looking for the best pizza spot nearby.

Who has time to wait for SEO results? Tell your SEO specialist that you expect to be number one on Google by next week, or else! If they start talking about "long-term strategy," just roll your eyes. Patience is for the weak. Demand those instant results and get ready to be disappointed. If you’re eager to fail, insist on immediate outcomes. Ignore the reality that SEO is a marathon, not a sprint. SEO success takes time and effort, but if you’re in a rush to fail, by all means, expect miracles overnight.