Fun Swedish’s Post

In a country as fluent in English as Sweden, it’s not about the language. I’m not Swedish. I have a lot of Swedish friends from different periods in my life though. A few things I’ve seen people in Sweden who can’t make friends have in common: 1) They haven’t seriously tried to take up a Swedish sport. Nordic skiing, paddle, handball, hockey, …This is the easiest. Hands down. Going Nordic skiing once doesn’t count. There’s a lot of commoradery around sports in Sweden and I’ve made a lot of friends that way. 2) Music. There are incredible music scenes in Sweden. Name 20 Swedish bands you love. If you can do that, you definitely have made some good friends there or have the potential to. 3) You’re trying to make friends at work. Swedes like their privacy. They also like their family time. Separating work from life is important. A friend here is casual at best. 4) You’re trying to make friends with neighbors. Again, privacy. Swedes aren’t into seeing their neighbors. Remember the commercial? 5) Strangers talking to you is weird in Sweden and that’s okay. The rules for making friends are a bit different combined with the fact that Sweden is a small country so they’re not going to have something for everyone. And that’s ok.

Hi! I'm one of those "lost expats". I definitely share your thoughts Daniella except it is a bit sad that the conclusion falls down to only one thing, a language issue, as if the core issue is 1. Unique and 2. Only one-sided. This is actually the only answer most Swedes I've met articulate when they are questioned or wondering on such a complex topic. Finding friends means to be integrated. Language, when it comes to integration, is only the top of the iceberg. Remember there is a line between integration and assimilation. I think that if you really want to know the why's you should ask the persons directly concerned by this issue, as this would be a bigger challenge for yourself to know what obstacles are here, when you don't face them (obviously!). But thank you for pointing out those stats! I had no idea, but I'm not surprised.

Learning the language could potentially increase the chance to get integrated in the society and that is for sure a step forward but it’s not the same as making friends. I came to Sweden to study and honestly my only Swedish friends are from that time. Some years in the Industry, I cannot say I have made friends as those whom we meet often and go out, party, have fun,etc. at least not from Swedish Swed community. Finding friends and making friends in Sweden is a much bigger issue than just speaking the language!

So the solution to stopping people from leaving is to ask them to learn Swedish? Sounds like a big ask for people who already have a foot out the door. I feel like something is being missed here and we're glossing over the actual issues.

This is so insightful! 🌟 It’s great to see a focus on language and cultural integration. What role do you think community events and social activities play in helping expats feel more connected in Sweden?

My anectodal data from being in the Expat group for Stockholm supports this research 100%. It's extremely difficult for expats to settle in Sweden so people tend to hang with expat networks....and when those expats start to leave then there isn't much left. It's a spiral. The main problem is that Stockholm people just don't have space in their lives to befriend expats. It doesn't matter how much people learn Swedish or try. They are simply not open to it. I am going to be a pessimist and say that I don't see that changing. I've lived here 14 years now. The root of the problem lies with Stockholm Swedes in my opinion.

We are 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐬 25% 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲. And up to 50% faster than the good countries. Can you point me in the direction of which source shares this fact? Also, it is quite telling that many foreigners leave after living in Sweden for some time. The average amount is 26 months - just over 2 years. If Sweden wants to attract and retain talent, something needs to change. More inclusiveness in hiring, more resources such as language lessons, also more PATIENCE with foreigners who are in the middle of learning Swedish. Then Sweden can go quite far with a turnaround!

I’m not sure about this, but maybe it’s not an issue about Swedes at all. I’ve been expats in various countries and what I have seen is that it’s been easier to find friends, as an expat, in those countries that are more dense with other expats. Sweden has less expats per capita than the countries I’ve been to (much less than those where it was rather easy to get friends) and Sweden is a large and sparse country. So perhaps there are other dynamics in play here. But it’s just a hypothesis as I do t have the data/statistics for it.

Just my experience here, but I have not found it difficult to make friends in Sweden, at all. I have a wide circle of both Swedish and international friends in Gävle. It’s true that you have to put some effort in. The trick is to join clubs, attend events, find meet-ups in FB groups, try chatting to neighbours etc…