The always humorous Thanksgiving column from Jason Gay of the The Wall Street Journal. A few pokes at schools from the Big Ten including the participants in this weekend's "The Game" (the writer is a Wisconsin graduate). Happy Thanksgiving! The first 5 rules from the article are shown below: "1: There’s a lot of debate in the NFL about the “Tush Push,” the Philadelphia Eagles’ amazingly effective, butt-shoving fourth-down play. The Tush Push remains legal in the Thanksgiving Family Touch Football Game, but you need to think carefully about what family tushes you’ll be giving pushes, and if you will need years of therapy later. 2: If you see movement in the neighbor’s yard, and a mysterious gentleman wearing maize and blue clothing, carrying, don’t panic. That’s just “Josh Hartnaugh,” the head coach of the “Wichigan Molverines.” He’s technically not supposed to be here; please don’t tell the Big Ten. 3: Also, your cousin brought a new pal: His name is Connor, he went to Navy, fixes vacuums, and knows a startling amount about Purdue’s offensive signals. 4: For the record: Stealing signs is easy in Family Touch Football. Nobody’s hiding them. When Dad puts his hands on his hips and starts wheezing, it’s a sign he’s about to call the game off and take a nap on the couch. 5: Don’t be surprised if an irritated Ohio State coach Ryan Day busts into your game, looking for Lou Holtz."
