Joshua F.’s Post

How long does it take to build a positive #mindset? 2.7 years (32 months) How do I know this? You may recognize this quote: “Adversity does not build character; it reveals it.” Adversity also reveals a positive mindset. My client Joe (not his real name) flew out west to work closely with his client. A client that gets a bit ornery at times. But not this time. Just kidding. Joe & his team had to execute a lot of ideas, often developed on the spot, over just a few days. Joe didn’t get much sleep. But after the successful trip concluded, Joe told me saw it as an opportunity to "level up." (I would say he had already leveled up, and the trip merely revealed it, but ignore me :) Old Joe would complain and lament “woe is me.” New Joe prefers to “embrace the suck.” If you lack a positive mindset (or #self-confidence), how many months would you invest to create one? If the answer is above zero, let’s chat.

For a long time I spent most of my time working in the business instead of working on the business, it was necessary, or at least that’s what I thought. When Covid came things started to change and what seemed to be working I soon realized it wasn’t. I started to discover my lack of knowledge in so many areas, and one of the first things I learned was to develop my self awareness. If I don’t know that I don’t know something I just go through life ignorant of that such thing I don’t know, and I might think that what I know or what I do is normal. I discovered I had multiple limiting beliefs, things that were normal to me, so I never questioned them, I used to only accept them because “that was my normal”. I soon started to become aware of my poor leadership skills, my lack of skills selling, networking, communicating, my lack of efficiency, high stress, high ego, not knowing how to set boundaries with people, accepting toxicity around me, my low levels of emotional intelligence, among many other things in that long list of behaviors, skills, and traits that I needed to develop. The first step was accepting that the problem was me, and that nobody else was responsible to fix my problems but me. I learned that in life there’s Victims and there’s Victors. A Victim will always look for someone or something to blame for their lack of results. Whereas a Victor will always say, “I am the problem, and since I am the problem I can fix it”. Three years later I have changed my mindset, I see things through a different lens, I have developed many things in me, but I still have a long way to go. But it’s all about progress, not perfection. As long as I’m progressing I know I’m going in the right direction. #beintentional 💪

Having no fear in the mind can lead to: 1. Bold decision-making: Fearlessness encourages taking risks and seizing opportunities without hesitation. 2. Enhanced creativity: Without fear holding you back, you're more likely to explore new ideas and think outside the box. 3. Resilience: Fearlessness helps in bouncing back from setbacks and facing challenges with determination. 4. Greater confidence: When fear is absent, confidence naturally emerges, enabling you to tackle tasks with assurance. 5. Improved relationships: Fearlessness fosters authenticity and openness, leading to stronger connections with others.

Are you a fixer? Have you found that only once you let go of that desire to fix can you actually make these suggestions and they are received well. When you're in a more open-handed mindset (rather than trying to control outcomes and other people), you can make suggestions rather than corrections. Instead of saying, “I’ve noticed this pattern and I want you to work on it,” you can start these conversations by saying, “Hey, have you ever thought about this idea?” and then you can go on to share the thing that’s on your mind. Learn More:

"Fastest way to make me ignore your email? Instant message me to tell me you just emailed me. Is your hair literally on fire? No? Then the queue forms to the right." Oh, the arrogance! I cringed when this memory surfaced. The version of me who wrote that status update eight years ago had no idea what lay ahead. I was always organized, ending each day with an empty inbox no matter how busy. I thought I had it all figured out. Cue the laugh track. I wasn't actually arrogant (maybe judgmental). My approach made sense for that phase of life. While my work affected others, it didn't shape their daily experience. I owned my approach and pace. I insisted I would never be the person who asks for a link I've received a thousand times. Now, I send IMs prefaced with, "I swore I would never be this person, but…?" Does self-awareness make it better? 2016 me would be so disappointed, but I promise I looked for it myself first. I maintained control of my inbox longer, but now, the volume exceeds my ability to consume it all. Daily, I delete junk, address calendar items, and look for urgent priorities. Still, I know I miss some messages. My stop gap is often to ask my team to IM me if I've missed an urgent email. How's that for irony? As a leader, it's difficult to balance independence and interdependence. How much can I ask of others? When does support become overbearing? When does neglect masquerade as empowerment? By letting go of the need to know and control everything, I create growth opportunities for the team. Adapting to changing circumstances is a critical skill. Clinging to outdated principles is a hinderance at best. Stay curious, reflect and adjust, cultivate resilience. Laugh at yourself, ask for help, and remember that success is never achieved alone.

The Power of Inner Dialogue - Have you ever thought about the importance of your inner dialogue in relation to your performance? We tend to create what we focus on and talk about. With that in mind, let me share a short story that illustrates the power of our inner conversations.  The Tale of Alex and the Two Voices In a bustling city, there lived a young professional named Alex. Alex had two voices in his head, Positive Pete and Negative Nate. Each morning, as Alex prepared for his day, these voices would vie for his attention. One Monday, Alex woke up feeling apprehensive about a big presentation at work. Negative Nate was quick to speak up, "You're not prepared enough. What if you mess up? Everyone will think you're a failure." Feeling the weight of these thoughts, Alex's confidence wavered. He stumbled through his practice sessions, making more mistakes than usual. The more he listened to Nate, the more his fears seemed justified. But then, Positive Pete chimed in, "You've worked hard for this. Remember how well you did last time? You've got this!" Alex decided to focus on Pete's encouraging words. He visualized himself succeeding, remembered his past achievements, and felt his anxiety lessen. By the time he reached the office, he was filled with a sense of calm and determination. His presentation went smoothly, and his colleagues were impressed.  The story of Alex is a simple reminder of how our inner dialogue shapes our reality. By choosing to focus on Positive Pete rather than Negative Nate, Alex turned his apprehension into confidence and success. Next time you face a challenge, pay attention to your inner dialogue. Are you letting Negative Nate take the lead, or are you empowering Positive Pete to guide you? Remember, we create what we focus on and talk about. What’s your experience with inner dialogue? How do you manage it to boost your performance? Share your thoughts in the comments below! #InnerDialogue #PositiveThinking #Performance #Mindset #CareerGrowth

Great questions attract influence. They can nourish like a slow-cooked soup. But something was off, I needed cooking lesson for helping. I became more curious. Vital behavior: Be interested. I studied great questions. Vital behavior: Reflection Results of my question quest? Many successes and a surprising number of flops. A great question can burn you, even with honest intentions. I've had flops with this: "What do you want to accomplish?" Silly me, polishing a question in a climate-controlled room. There is another person (or people). Between us is an interaction. The state of the relationship speaks before I do. "Helping is a complex phenomenon," wrote Ed Schein, a legend of organizational culture. He called the helping relationship paradoxical. Helping "is absurdly simple to name and describe, but incredibly difficult to do reliably." "At the beginning ... [what's] crucial is not the content of the client's problem or the helper's expertise, but the communication process that will enable both to figure out what is actually needed." Helping is not a simple soup. For now, I ask myself: How will my question make the other person feel? What's my goal? Vital behavior: Connection. P.S. Are you a soup, salad or sandwich fan? Share your suggestions for how you like to support helping. Comment to share and help me. Reposting would make my day.

Don't Argue with Idiots. Just Say 'You Are Right' 🤐👍 Ever found yourself entangled in a heated debate with someone who seems determined to disagree with you at every turn? Well, I've been there too, and I've learned a valuable lesson along the way: sometimes, it's best to take the high road and simply acknowledge the other person's viewpoint, no matter how absurd it may seem. When we engage in arguments with stubborn individuals, we often find ourselves caught in a cycle of frustration and futility. This can lead to increased stress levels and negative emotions, ultimately taking a toll on our well-being. So, why not shift our perspective and adopt a more diplomatic approach? Instead of wasting precious time and energy trying to convince someone who may never see eye to eye with us, we can choose to end the debate gracefully. By saying "You are right," we diffuse tension and maintain our composure, while also signaling that we're not interested in escalating the conflict. Of course, embracing this mindset isn't always easy. We may fear that conceding to the other person's viewpoint implies weakness or defeat. However, in reality, it demonstrates strength and maturity to prioritize harmony over being "right." Imagine the liberating feeling of letting go of the need to prove yourself in every argument. By adopting the mantra "You are right," we empower ourselves to focus on more productive endeavours and cultivate healthier relationships, both personally and professionally. As we implement this approach in our interactions, we'll likely find that conflicts diminish, and connections strengthen. By choosing understanding over confrontation, we pave the way for meaningful dialogue and mutual respect. So, the next time you find yourself embroiled in a futile argument, remember the power of the simple phrase, "You are right." It's not about admitting defeat; it's about choosing peace over conflict and preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Have you ever tried employing the "You are right" strategy?

Are you tired of that nagging voice in your head?    Oh, here's a shocker: 85% of people are plagued by low self-esteem. Yeah, you heard that right. It's a full-blown crisis, folks!  The usual suspects? Self-doubt, fear, and that pesky little voice in your head that never shuts up. I bet you've met it. That relentless, nagging voice that keeps yapping about how you're just not good enough, not smart enough, not capable. The one that loves nothing more than to keep you from soaring. Now, here's the kicker: Here’s a new thought. Don’t believe that voice. It’s a liar!    You can kick self-doubt and fear to the curb.   Here's the magic formula:   1. Self-compassion: Treat yourself like your own best friend, would ya?   2. Failure: Embrace it. It's just a stepping stone, not a death sentence.  3. Visualize success: Picture yourself winning. It's a game-changer.  4. Positive affirmations: A daily pep talk never hurt anyone.  5. Positivity: Surround yourself with it. Your environment shapes your thoughts.  6. Challenge your inner critic: Ask it, "Really? Are you sure about that?"  7. Professional help: If all else fails, work with a coach. No shame in that. So, what's it going be? Which strategy are you going to use to silence your inner critic?     #BoostYourSelfEsteem #KickFearInTheTeeth #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence    Be a better you! Achieve your goals! Make sh*t happen that makes you happy!     Follow Susie Lawrence for more Mindset Mastery Tips.