Hey Sigmund reposted this
Child & Adolescent Anxiety, Neurodevelopment Educator | Founder, Hey Sigmund | Speaker | Author 'Hey Warrior'
Remember the power of ‘AND’. As long as they are actually safe: They can feel anxious AND do brave. They can feel like they aren’t ready for brave, AND be ready brave. They can wish to avoid AND they can stay (or not be taken home). They can be angry, anxious, and push us away AND we can look after them through the feelings without avoiding the brave/ new, hard/ important. We can wish for their anxiety, anger, sadness to be gone AND we can be with them without needing them to be different. We can believe them (that they are anxious, scared, angry) AND believe in them (that they are capable). When we hold their anxiety AND their capacity for brave, in equal measure and with compassion, we can show them that their anxiety doesn’t cancel their brave.♥️
Thanks so much for this. I can see how this can work in principle. However I did this with my ND daughter when she was struggling at school. School didn't feel safe for her and eventually we had to remove her. She now tells me that every time she hears "you can do brave things" she has a physical reaction. For me it's really important that when we are saying these things to children we are sure that the place we are sending them into, when we say things like this, is psychologically safe for them.
Whenever I remind myself of the power of ‘AND,’ it transforms how I support others. We can hold space for their fears while still encouraging bravery. Balancing compassion with belief in their capabilities makes all the difference. 💙
This is really great. It is so important that we model for kids how to hold the complexity of all of their emotions. The power of the "And" as you framed it does just that.
Powerful thoughts. I worry about our youth. I’m glad you do what you do. Love the concept of “And”.
Oh this is great. All of life is such duality.
improving Access to Education services in Croydon and for all children in care of Croydon
3moin principle great and I've used it to real positive effect with some learners. but i echo that for some ND children, validating their anxiety fully is key , and validating while insisting on the action causing their anxiety often gives the idea you don't actually believe me you're just saying it... and generally makes things much worse