Lara Schaeffer’s Post

When working with an autistic person, a situation that many people will encounter at some point in their careers, it is crucial for everyone involved to navigate the differences in autistic communication. Truth and honesty hold significant value in the lives of many people, and they are particularly important to most autistic individuals. When expressing our opinions or views, an emphasis on truth and honesty can sometimes make our input seem a bit blunt or overly direct to others. The majority of the time, I would bet, the autistic person did not mean to say something offensive or impolitic, but instead was remarking on a situation, stating a fact, or providing an answer in a simple, truthful way, and with little sugar-coating. Try to accept what an autistic person has to say without reading into it innuendo or meaning that the person likely did not intend. As a distinct aspect of autistic communication, it is important to recognize that many individuals with autism find verbal speech challenging, particularly during times of heightened sensory or mental stress. The societal expectation of speech can create significant pressure to communicate verbally even when we may not desire to, when it proves difficult, or when it may simply be beyond our capacity at the moment. During challenging times, I personally find myself occasionally using a simple, universal "thumbs up" gesture. Alternatively, when intending to convey the opposite meaning, I may use a mouth or head gesture, or a subtle wiggle of the hand to indicate a "so-so" or "not really" sentiment. Not pressing the person for more words right away is important, helping the person feel accepted and their capacities in the moment respected. Later, even relatively soon, the person may be better able to articulate what is on their mind. Or, perhaps an exchange of written communication could be initiated which would allow the autistic individual their own time and space to convey their thoughts or ideas Autistic communication differences are not flaws; rather, they are just sometimes part of being autistic. Stay tuned for more Autistic Insights each Monday! ************************************************************************* I am dedicated to raising awareness about unidentified autism in adults and to helping late-identified autistic individuals live their best lives. 🌎Lara Schaeffer🌍 #AutismAcceptance  #AutisticInsights  #LaraSchaeffer

What an excellent way to convey some of the hardships relating to spoken communication for many autistic people. I would add to this, that for many autistic people these referenced communication difficulties/differences can be compounded by differences in communication processing and this can make it difficult for an autistic person to respond in the time frame that one would typically expect. This can be the result of many factors, from difficulty in interpreting and/or processing the non-verbal communication of the other person, to distractions in the environment due to sensory processing differences, and even auditory processing differences. I frequently encounter situations where I am “auto-responding” from social scripts, as I do not fully process the entire conversation until after it is over. For myself, this is not a language processing issue, per say, so much as it is a compilation of multiple sensory processing differences, as well as difficulty interpreting the non-verbal communications in the moments that they are occuring.

This is a valuable reminder on communication for those closer to the neurotypical end of the spectrum - try not to read “bluntness” as being motivated by anything more than straightforward honesty, and other helpful reminders. My thoughts: autistic individuals are required to spend a lot of time learning the ways of “neurotypical” communication. How about schools and communities place some emphasis on EVERYONE learning the ways of each others’ communication styles across the neurodiversity spectrum. So, when all students at school have educational standards in speaking and language around considering the perspective and cultures of others and exchanging ideas, that includes recognising neurodivergent communication differences too.

When working with an autistic person, a situation that most people will encounter at various points in their careers, it is crucial for everyone involved to navigate the distinctions in autistic communication relative to non-autistics. Truth and honesty hold significant value in the lives of many people, and they are particularly important to most autistic individuals. When expressing our opinions or views, an emphasis on truth and honesty can sometimes make our input seem a bit blunt or overly direct to others. The majority of the time, I would bet, the autistic person did not mean to say something offensive or impolitic, but instead was remarking on a situation, stating a fact, or providing an answer in a simple, truthful way, and with little sugar-coating. Try to accept what an autistic person has to say without reading into it innuendo or meaning that the person likely did not intend. A different aspect of communication to be aware of for autistic individuals: it is important to recognize that many people on the spectrum find verbal speech challenging, particularly during times of heightened sensory or mental stress. The societal expectation of speech can create significant pressure to communicate verbally even when we may not desire to, when it proves difficult, or when it may simply be beyond our capacity at the moment. During challenging times, I personally find myself sometimes putting up my index finger while I pause as a signal that my thought is not complete. As an affirmative response, I often use a simple, universal "thumbs up" gesture. Alternatively, when intending to convey the opposite meaning, I may use a mouth or head gesture, or a subtle wiggle of the hand to indicate a "so-so" or "not really" sentiment. Not pressing the person for more words right away is important to help them feel valued and their capacities in the moment respected. Later, even relatively soon, the person may be better able to articulate what is on their mind. Or, perhaps an exchange of written communication could be initiated which would allow the autistic individual their own time and space to convey their thoughts or ideas. Autistic communication differences are not flaws; rather, they are just sometimes part of being autistic. Stay tuned for more #AutisticInsights here on the Autism Discovery page! We will be reissuing Lara Schaeffer's original series of twenty posts between now and December before she digs into a fresh new round of twenty in 2025! Be sure to follow us here at Autism Discovery if you don't want to miss the next one 💨💨💨 (And for those already familiar with the series, please be patient as the Autism Discovery rollover takes effect!) #AutismAcceptance #Neurodiversity #BeKind #LaraSchaeffer #AutisticInsights

The communication differences of autistic people often receive a lot of focus and are at times labelled as ‘deficits’. Under that premise, you might assume that autistic people struggle to communicate with each other. However, research into a theory called the “Double Empathy Problem” suggests a different story. The theory predicts that communication effectiveness is impacted by whether or not people with the same type of brain are communicating with one another. A research study has combined non-autistic and autistic people in different groups and measured rapport during communication. These were the findings: - The mixed groups had the worst ratings of rapport. - In the self-rating report, the non-autistic groups had the best rapport. - In the observer report, the autistic groups had the best rapport. So, what does this all suggest? Communication becomes difficult when we encounter people who are different to us. If we all put some effort into understanding communication differences, we can start feeling more connected with others. You can learn more about this groundbreaking research via the link below. https://buff.ly/45XEu5z Image description: The following quote is featured against a green background inside a rectangular white frame alongside a character from the Secret Agent Society program. "Have you heard of the Double Empathy Problem? The theory suggests that communication between autistic and non-autistic people is impacted by differences in how our brains work, rather than anyone's deficits." A summary of the research study described in this caption is featured in the images that follow.

Autistic culture, as any culture, has much to offer to those who are willing to explore and learn from it. It can show the world how to delight in small things. It can show the world how to interact with nature with our entire being. It can show the world how to be endlessly curious, genuinely committed, boundlessly creative. It can show the world how to care without conformity and include without assimilating. 💛 Autistic culture, as any culture, should be approached with respect and cultural humility. Here are practical points for respecting Autistic culture: - Respect Direct Communication. Autistic culture values straightforward communication. Avoid vague or indirect language; be clear, specific, and honest. Presume honesty: do not search for hidden meanings and slights where there are none. - Respect Various Forms of Communication. Some speak. Others write. All have something of value to say. - Respect Identity-First Language. Many autistic people prefer "autistic person" over "person with autism." Do not correct how autistic people refer to themselves. Mainstream editors: do not correct how autistic authors refer to themselves and their communities. Respect the language use of autistic experts even if it is not what you’ve been taught by the dominant culture. - Don’t Force Neurotypical Social Norms. Do not demand conformity. Small talk, forced eye contact, or relying on non-verbal cues can feel unnatural and stressful. Prohibiting stimming takes away an important instrument of self-regulation.   - Respect Deep Interests. Autistic passions or interests go deep. Making fun of these interests can cut to the core of the person. And our deep expertise and commitment to truth might just save the world from misinformation and "hallucinations." - Respect Sensory Differences. Sensitivities to light, sound, touch, smell, or textures are real and can be intense. Do not assume that if something does not bother you, it does not bother others. And remember canaries in coal mines - if something does not bother you YET, it does not mean it will not harm you later - canaries just might be feeling the harm before you do. Do not insist on neurotypical norms of physical contact (hugs, handshakes, etc). Help normalize differences in such contact. - See the Person, not the Stereotype. Label-based stereotyping is just as inappropriate as cultural stereotyping based on national or ethnic culture. Each person’s experiences are different. 💛 Autistic culture is rich with unique ways to interpret the world. Autistic culture is beautiful. Don't try to fix us. Get to know us. There is freedom in accepting differences and inclusion without assimilation. Try it. You might just love it. #autistic #culture #inclusion #neurodiversity #communication #autism #ActullyAutistic

Countless people over my life time have told me to keep things simple. Most of the time, they mean to forego meaning and force square pegs into round holes. Now and again, someone gets the spirit of simplicity for neurodivergence right. Ludmila Praslova, Ph.D., SHRM-SCP, Âû has done that here. If people in any professional or personal walk of life would take to heart what she has said here and apply it to a given autistic person as that person says these concepts apply to them, life would be great for very many or most autists. I see perhaps three concerns. The first is great resistance to learning a little bit about autistic concepts that this blog could easily provide. The next problem is not accepting how a given autistic person says the concepts apply to them. Close on succession is lack of willingness to allow the autistic person the opportunity to function as these needs apply. Ludmila, perhaps some day, somewhere, your simple words will be enough for an autistic person and their environment to translate for each other. P.S. Here's a paraphrased summary of Ludmila's points. Respect direct communication. Respect various forms of communication. Respect identity-first language. Refrain from enforcing neurotypical social norms. Respect deep interests. See the person rather than the stereotype. Get to know what makes us tick rather than trying to fix us. I'm adding: Allow manifestations of ourselves to vary, relative to contextual and intrinsic factors.

This is an excellent list. There is little to add, but I can think of a couple more: 1) Do presume we are competent and capable. Let us inform others of our limitations. if we choose; do not assume or assign limitations for us. 2) Do allow us to express our thoughts, feelings, ideas, and perspectives ourselves. Do not speak for us, and do not share information about us without our consent. This includes not using us as examples without our knowledge, whether it is to highlight our talents or describe our struggles. Being autistic does not waive our right to privacy.

Happy autistic pride! I realise I'm 2 days late with this as I've been buried in photos the last couple of days, snapping The Gathering (ENU's Learning & Teaching conference) and subsequently editing. Just like how wearing rainbows isn't us LGBT+ folk making everything about our gender or romantic/sexual orientation but allows us to signal to others that they can trust us, open discussion of neurodivergence helps us neurodivergent types to explicitly receive indication that there is someone we can be more open with about who we are and what our needs are, rather than trying to read hints and subtle indications, which we can struggle with. In recent months, I've been making a conscious effort to explicitly unmask in work and social situations, shifting some of the extra mental labour from myself to others whose communications aren't clear to me or who might not realise where I'm struggling. Often this takes the form of "You've said [a] and I think that means [b] but I'm not sure as it could also mean [c] or something else which I've not been privvy to. Please can you clarify?" Often I'll explicitly acknowledge autism in this. Sometimes I'll make my processing observable through gestures and facial expressions which I don't try to hide and sometimes exaggerate to enhance my intended meaning, while talking through my interpretation of what's been said. Sometimes, rather than spending time trying to perfectly reword my thoughts so as not to seem snarky or disrespectful, I simply state my intention alongside what I'm saying "I don’t know what the socially acceptable way to respond to that is but [my interpretation]" or "this may come across dismissive or snarky, which is not my intention, but I'm wanting to clarify or respond to what I've observed so I can know we're working with the same objective in mind. Doesn't what you've said imply [contradicting points observed]?" I recognise that I'm fortunate to be in a working environment where I can shift from making the effort to compensate for communication and personal needs differences for others, to highlighting where adaption would help me to do my job. Many people in the world seem to be in incredibly toxic environments where choosing not to mask all the time or expressing needs is ignored (at best) or socially punished. Masking is tiring, so the mask slips sometimes. Share the load. Employers/managers/co-workers, say what you mean, mean what you say and back up your declarations with actions. It might be culturally jarring at first, particularly for those of us entrenched in British understatement and double-speak, but it will be much more efficient than trying to hint at what you mean by dancing around it. If there's something you can't say explicitly, it might be something you shouldn't be alluding to. Otherwise, just give as accurate an explanation as you can and we'll be on a better footing to combine efforts. #AutisticPride #Neurodiversity #NeurodiversityInclusion #CommunicationSkills