M28 Ministry U.S.’s Post

Transcript

Throughout my whole entire journey. God has placed people in my life to help me with discernment, to guide me, to save me from myself. He's put natural consequences in my life and the forms of like institutions, jails, as a result to try to determine. I also like firmly believe that I'm only here as a result of prayer. My name is David Johnson. I'm a person in long term recovery and I was introduced to Pastor Jim in M 2813 years ago while I was enrolled in Daystar. So ultimately, like I went to my first treatment center when I was a juvenile. At that time I was struggling with polysubstance abuse, but it hadn't progressed into St. narcotics yet. It was a lot of prescription medications coupled with marijuana and alcohol. That journey was the the seed that planted recovery as an option. No one in my immediate family struggled with addiction, but there was a plethora of people in my extended family that had issues with multiple substances in mental health as well. I attributed kind of some of my substance use to my youth. And, you know, didn't really identify with being an addict or an alcoholic at that age. So I went out to do some more research which ultimately led me being homeless in California and Ivy drug user eating out of trash cans, Lost communication from all my loved ones and didn't really have like any direction. Didn't have any plans to live past 21. Already had countless overdoses, incarcerations, time spent in psychiatric units as a result of my use, and withdrawal from use. There's people that God has placed in my life throughout the whole journey and I mentioned earlier that I met Pastor Jim when I was 19 years old, but I haven't stayed clean since I was 19. During the meeting with Pastor Jim, one of the things, the first things that he said to me was this only works if you're honest with me and honesty is going to be a theme throughout my recovery journey. It's also in 12 step programs identified as a spiritual principle and I didn't understand. Back then what that meant, but Pastor Jim said as long as I'm willing to be honest, that he's willing to work with me and that kind of planning to see to the importance of honesty in a recovery journey. I had stayed clean for several years in Narcotics Anonymous, and I decided that I was never going to use heroin again, and narcotics weren't weren't a good thing. But as I fell back into my old ways and started to take my will back and stop doing the things that kept me clean and got me clean, I slowly started to backslide. And I thought, well, I've always had an issue with heroin, but never alcohol so I can drink successfully. Before I knew it, I was. Physically dependent on alcohol and it was a lot easier to maintain an alcohol addiction that cost 20 some dollars a day as opposed to a heroin addiction, which was a life of crime and theft. And throughout my whole drinking career and using career, there's signs that this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. There's a clear sign that it's not God's will for my life to be used in drugs and alcohol. At the end of the road, I ended up moving to Richmond, VA because the location was the problem. Not realizing that I took myself with me wherever I went, and I had sworn that once I moved to Richmond after getting out of treatment for the 10th or 11th time, that I was never going to use substances again. Three weeks later I found myself drunk, and three weeks after that I found myself with an open felony case and was facing state prison. Time as a result of, you know, getting caught with narcotics and and getting my house searched and rated. So once I could take a step back and I could get the alcohol out of my system and I could no longer be physically dependent on. Alcohol, I could objectively take a look at my life. And once I was able to do that, I had to get honest with myself. Back to that honesty piece. And the honesty piece that I came to was anytime that I've ever tried to put my hands in the mix or control my life or drive the bus or do anything, something went wrong. After graduating from College in Richmond and getting sober down there and establishing a support group of people that I could rely on, the sobriety aspect was handled, the legal issues were handled, and I was kind of left with the sense of, OK, now I have a degree and the fear setting. The fear resulted me into doing old behaviors that didn't include using drugs and alcohol, which was essentially running from my problems. So I found myself on the Big Island. Of Hawaii feared up about what to do with my college degree and not understanding that like I've already sobriety's been down pat. I have that and I'm secure in that and now schools down pat and I have a degree, but now I have to use that degree. And that involves a level of responsibility which I wasn't good at when I was using. So ultimately I was out in the middle of nowhere, 40 miles from the closest stop light. Problem with just me and God. So I came back to Mechanicsburg, PA for a wedding. I had a buddy that I had met 11 years ago in recovery. That called me and said, hey, I, we started an inpatient treatment center not long ago and we think you'd be a great candidate. I showed up for the interview, I prayed about it and almost like this is where I feel called to be. And I was able to get back involved now that I was in the area with M28, able to get involved with the house church and able to continue to work with people and help others and give back what was so freely given to me. And where I'm 28 means to me, and this has meant to me this whole time was. From the very beginning. There is no judgment, I remember. I don't know if I should say this or not, but I'm going to. I remember calling Jimmy high on crack cocaine one time, crossing Route 30 in York from a motel because I don't know why. I just had to let him know where I was at in my journey and that I was struggling and that honesty piece. Was just taught that like hey you, you can make any mistake that you want, you just can't lie to us because we can't work with you if you lie to us. So that and the sense of community I think was the most important coupled with the sense of consistency and the one thing I found. That was so meaningful for me. Even in the beginning when Pastor Jim said he was going to do something or he said he was going to be there, he was there. But also just like being invited to live in a home with somebody that knew all the dark. Bad stuff of my past, the fact that I was 19 years old and an IV drug user with a riddled criminal history, no direction, and a history of homelessness and a history of criminality, that that was huge. Also, the other thing that modeled was the reliance on God and the relationship on God. Just everything revolved around that. In recovery, you know, the first step is to admit that we're not God is to admit that we can't control our lives with substances. And in the very second step in recovery, there's an introduction to God. And I think that framework shows the importance of not only also coupled with that, the spiritual Prince of honesty plays in there, right? Because we can't admit that we're not God if we're not honest with ourselves. And then if I admit that. Knockout women, I can admit that there's a need for God. And that lays the groundwork like foundationally in the context of of recovery and and life.