Saubia Fatemi’s Post

Let’s start breaking things down to determine where the work lies. Don’t think too deeply, go with the answer that first pops up for you.

𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 1000 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 👉🏼 I was tired. 👉🏼 I was burnt out. 👉🏼 Every time I connected with my emotions, I was flooded. 👉🏼 I was overwhelmed. 👉🏼 Brain fog 👉🏼 Absolute inability to make decisions To say it was a challenge would be putting it mildly. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. Although loss and death is natural, there are so few resources available, especially for young widows. Most work places offer little outside of a few weeks (if you're lucky) to grieve. This is why 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥. Knowing that there are people who understand, who've been there, who can help, makes all the difference. 🔆 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. There is no magic pill, but it can start with a simple message. If you're looking to chat over a cup of coffee about life and what may be in the way, send me a DM.

Life can feel so uncertain, because it is. That is it’s nature. We like to believe that there is some control; we have control. We like to believe that if we do certain things, it will result in “something”. Perhaps. But the absolute truth is that “we don’t know”. This can feel scary. In our job. In our relationships. In our world. What is the relationship between doing, trusting and letting go? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭. It's the small gestures that have the biggest impact. I had someone ask me recently what they can do to support a new widow. They wanted to do something big and meaningful to show the person how much they care. They wanted to fix the pain. 💔 They wanted to make it all better. I understand the urge, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧. People worry about what they should do and say. Does the person need space? Maybe not think about it? ➡ But here's what is needed... 💛 Someone present with you holding your hand so you can be. 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 and 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙪𝙥.

Life can be a juggling act, especially for single parents. One minute you’re leading a team meeting at your job, the next you’re singing lullabies to your little one. It can be tough to feel present as you rush from one thing to the next, hoping to take care of everyone and all the things you’ve committed yourself to. There is no quick fix. Everything you feel: 👉🏼 tired 👉🏼 beaten 👉🏼 stressed 👉🏼 guilty 👉🏼 lost They are all valid. But to know that these are feelings and not the permanent “you” is where the work lies. 👍🏼 Hear the words you say to yourself. 👍🏼 recognize the difference between truth and the reality you have created in your mind 👍🏼 learn to step out of the confines of your own narratives. This is how we take ownership of our lives. I want to hear from you… Do you feel like this is just the life that you have and now you need to fight through it?

Love this! We so often seek guidance in the areas we have problems in or when we face difficulties. What about working on something that’s important to you? What about working on yourself because you want to get to know yourself better? Share with me, do you focus and give attention to the things you love, or only the things that feel difficult?

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭. You know those seasons when you feel like everything is on fire: 🔥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲, 🔥𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤, 🔥 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 🔥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 🔥🔥𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧! I’ve found that my laundry list of things keeps getting longer, no matter how many things I actually do. And it’s 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, and for my personality type, it 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞 When moments like this hit, although counterintuitive, 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩. So I can: ✅ Recognize the world isn’t coming to an end. ✅ I can ask for help. ✅ I can come back to recognizing what’s important to me. ✅ I can assess and recognize the difference between emotion and fact. ✅ I can focus on the present and get out of my head about past and a future based on fears of the past. Life is going to keep tossing experiences our way. That will not change. How do you ensure that you navigate through this life in a way that leaves you feeling good, positive, excited?

There is no substitute. Unplugging. Nature. Family. A weekend away to remind us all of what’s important and why we’re here. When was the last time you took time for what matters most to you?

𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨! I had a client recently say that to me. She “𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴”. Studied, did well in school, got a degree, found the guy, and worked her way up to the dream job. But.. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮. Not because there was anything wrong with the job or partner, but because she felt 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬. Unfortunately, my client isn’t the first to voice this feeling. 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨, 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦. But few are ever asked what their dream is. And worst, there is an assumption that the dream we created at age 18 will somehow be the same at age 40. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲, 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐚𝐫, 𝐣𝐨𝐛. Until you can connect with who you are, where your joy is, and what your hopes and dreams are, you will continue to feel disconnected and unfulfilled. The truth is that happiness doesn’t come from the assets you collect, it comes from within. I'd love to hear if you've ever felt this way, DM me and we can even have a coffee chat.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝑰 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝑴𝑬 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝒀𝑶𝑼. True responsibility means knowing that everything we experience is in our mind. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.. People are who they are. It is MY expectation of who 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 that leads me to feel a certain way. I’d love to know how this statement makes you feel. Share ⬇️ 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘐𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵. 💙