Shayla King’s Post

I used to pride myself on being a people-pleaser. I thought I was being noble and selfless, focusing on other people’s comfort and happiness so they were never disappointed or underwhelmed. Many of us are people-pleasers, so this could be a tough pill to swallow because our culture and companies glorify pleaser behaviors, but it will also set you free. 💣 The hard truth is: People pleasing is never about them; it is about US. It is about controlling how WE are perceived. The unconscious motivation behind shape-shifting and people-pleasing is this: If I turn myself into who I think you want me to be, you won’t see my flaws. I wouldn’t say no because I didn’t want to risk being seen as selfish, lazy or disappointing others. I suppressed my needs and desires so I didn’t have to assert myself and risk being rejected. I morphed my behavior, choices and personality to match whoever I was around so I didn’t risk being unliked, uncool or difficult. It’s not that any of us WANT to be seen in these ways; we believe that if we don’t try to control their perception, they WILL see us that way. We fear that if we stop pleasing, no one will like us, we’ll suck at our jobs, and we’ll lose everything (we’re very good at catastrophizing in our heads). Pleasing is a reactive self-protection pattern that’s keeping you stuck and preventing you from achieving what you really want because, by living from the outside-in, you’re diluting yourself and your impact. I’ve helped hundreds of high and over-achievers learn to live from the inside out - being more intentional and authentic - and you want to know what actually does happen? They reach their goals faster - and they feel really great doing it. Careers accelerate, relationships deepen, health improves, and so much more. If you want help reaching your goals faster and have more fun along the way, join my Stuck to Superstar small group kicking off April 3. I only have a few spots left, so DM me and we can decide if it’s the right fit for you. #leadershipdevelopment #selfawareness #executivecoaching #emotionalintelligence #authenticity

Limiting beliefs are like a disease that is slowly eating at you and keeps growing and growing if you don’t stop it from spreading. If you are feeling that “you might not be good enough”, this is the biggest obstacle blocking you from getting anywhere at the moment. Despite your best efforts in taking action. Did you know it takes an average of 66 days to change your mindset? It takes over two months for a new belief to be integrated. This means that letting go of a belief is a serious commitment. When M came to me, she was really struggling with her mindset. She’d got into a negative spiral, believing she wasn’t capable or worthy of success, and it was leaking into her daily life, making her feel insecure. She started doubting everything she put her mind into and was waiting each time for something to fall through… since she had gotten used to it. Do you feel the same? It was this toxic mindset that was holding her back from success. She had all the technical skills she had gained from her experience to get where she wanted to… but her beliefs just wouldn't let her take that final step over the edge into the unknown. It took work, patience and serious dedication, but we still did it. We finally shifted that fixed mindset of hers. Today, her mindset is much more focused on growth, learning from mistakes, confidence, and celebrating success. It’s opened so many incredible new doors, and it’s something she’s taken into her new role, embracing true fulfillment and empowerment in her job.  Oh and btw, If you feel stuck in a loop with 0 results, I have a program that will help you achieve exactly that and more in only 5 sessions. Get in touch and let’s start the process! ⚡ #CareerAdvancement #MindsetShift #ProfessionalGrowth #CareerCoaching #CareerGuidance #CareerAdvice

Ever feel like you're stuck in your career or personal life, no matter how hard you try? 🤔 It might not be about the strategies or skills—it could be about what's happening inside. A while back, someone reached out to me about their financial struggles. They couldn’t seem to ask for more, put themselves out there, or hold onto the money they had. Sound familiar? It’s a common scenario. After a brief chat, I realised that the real issue wasn’t about money at all. It was about deep-seated feelings of being unheard, ignored, or criticised. These are the kinds of feelings that can stem from past experiences—like a critical parent or a controlling relationship—that continue to influence how we behave and make decisions. Think about it: if you’ve ever hesitated to ask for a raise, negotiate a deal, or take on a new challenge, it might be because you're afraid of being criticised or rejected. These fears can keep you playing small and avoiding risks, even when you know that’s not serving you. I’ve experienced this too. I realised that when my daughter doesn’t listen to me, it stirs up old feelings from my childhood of not being heard. This has affected my ability to speak up, not just at home, but in business too. The fear of not being heard has sometimes kept me from asking for what I truly want or deserve. The good news? Once you recognise these patterns, you can start to change them. You can reframe those limiting beliefs and turn them into a source of strength. 💪 If you've identified similar limitations and are ready to move past them, I’m here to help. Together, we can work through these feelings, challenge those old perspectives, and reframe your thoughts. This isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about unlocking your full potential in your career and personal life. Let’s connect and work on turning those limitations into your greatest strengths. Don’t let old fears hold you back from the success you deserve. Reach out and let’s take this journey together. 🌟 #PersonalDevelopment #OvercomingChallenges #MindsetShift #UnlockPotential #ProfessionalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #Leadership #SelfImprovement #CareerSuccess #mintfulmindbymonica #mintfulmind

What kind of Self-Imposed Limits have you set for yourself? Do you find yourself feeling stuck, you know the potential you have but being at the mercy of self-doubt? If so, you’re not alone, sometimes I feel the same. Many struggle with self-imposed limits that quietly creep into our minds, stifling our ambitions. The kicker? Most of these limits are entirely self-constructed. Think about it: How many times have you thought, “I’m not good enough” or “I could never do that”? These limiting beliefs can take many forms—fear of failure, perfectionism, or imposter syndrome. These self imposed limitations can paralyze the most talented of us with fear of judgment. Despite our talents, we are held back, convinced we won't succeed. Through a deep self reflective practice, you learn to identify patterns and question their roots, validity. As you rewire these limitations, you become empowered and feel safe to go after your goals. You will feel different and others will notice this in you. So, how do you start breaking down these limits? Here are a few steps: 1. Self-Reflection: Spend some time exploring your thoughts. 2. Challenge Your Narrative: When you spot a limiting belief, question its origin, truth, validity. Reframe it in an empowering statement. 3. Seek Feedback: from trusted colleagues or mentors. They might see strengths in you that you’ve overlooked. 4. Envision New You: Get into your body and see, feel the new version of you feeling empowered, secure. 5. Build Confidence: Push your comfort zone gradually. Share an idea in a meeting or take on a new project. The benefits of this inner work are transformative. You’ll gain confidence, boost creativity, build stronger relationships, and unlock career opportunities. The choice is yours: confront your self-imposed limits or stay stuck. Still waiting? Let’s unmask those barriers and step into your full potential. DM for a free call. #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #Empowerment #LimitingBeliefs #ImposterSyndrome #CareerSuccess

I was getting ready for work when I heard a loud bang. I ran upstairs to check what was going on. Jasmine had just woken up from la la land. She sat up for a short while and lay back down scrambling for her duvet to cover up. Jasmine, are you not going to work today? I asked as I walked into the room. “Zii, to be honest I don’t feel like it”, she responded. I feel so low and discouraged, she continued saying. I sat down on the bed, asking to know why. She started telling me about the challenges she faced at work the previous day and how she reacted to the situation. Jasmine, I know you feel low and discouraged. Challenges are a part of life. It shouldn’t stop you from moving on, I said trying to encourage her. For as long as we are here on this side of life, there will always be challenges. But how you face those challenges and your reaction them will determine how the future will go, I continued to encourage her. After some more talks, she got up and off she went to get ready for work. “Be good, Jasmine. I’ll see you later in the evening”, I shouted as I made my way out. Dear career professional, Business owner, Student, Does Jasmine’s story resonate with you? How you face #challenges and your reaction to them should not put you in a powerless state. My proven strategy called The V. A. F strategy will help you face and react to challenges better. ↪️ V - Visualize a calm mental state and practice deep, slow breathing. ↪️ A - Adopt a third-person perspective to view your feelings objectively. ↪️ F - Focus on controlling your reactions, not the external events. Stay winning. Cheers to an amazing weekend 🎉🎊. ——————————————————————— 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝘾𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙕𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙮 - 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙉𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙧 𝘼 𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝘾𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙖 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨. #𝗺𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆𝗺𝘆𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 #𝟮𝟭𝗗𝗮𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗗𝗿𝗜𝘀𝗵 #𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 #transformation #life𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 #mindsetshift

Ever walked into a room and felt like all eyes were on you, scrutinizing your every move? You might have thought, "Everyone's looking at me. What if I trip?" or "Did anyone see that typo in my email?" If so, you've experienced the Spotlight Effect. Naturally as humans, we tend to overestimate the extent to which others notice our actions and appearance. This cognitive bias leads us to believe we're the center of attention more often than we actually are. It's like wearing an invisible, self-focused spotlight that illuminates our own perceived flaws. It's a powerful cognitive bias that can make us feel self-conscious and hold us back from expressing ourselves fully. Here are 5 tips to help you step out of the spotlight: 1. Recognize the Spotlight: Acknowledge that this is a common human tendency. Just knowing about the Spotlight Effect can help you realize that others are less focused on you than you think. 2. Perspective Switch: Imagine the situation reversed. Would you obsess over a small mistake someone else made? Likely not. Most people are too busy with their own lives to judge yours. 3. Build your Confidence:. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would a friend. It's okay to make mistakes or look less than perfect. No one is flawless! Not at all!! 4. Prioritize Your Actions: Focus on the task at hand, not on what others might think. When you're engaged and authentic, you'll naturally shine without the self-imposed pressure. 5. Shift Your Mindset: Believe that your quirks and imperfections add to your charm. Embrace them as unique pieces of your personality puzzle. We are all unique in our own ways. And you shine brightest when you're more task-focused than when you are self-focused. How have you experienced the Spotlight Effect in your life? How do you (or did you) overcome it? Share your thoughts #SpotlightEffect #SelfAwareness #ConfidenceBuilding #MindsetShift #EmotionalIntelligence #PsychologyTips #HumanNature #SocialAnxiety #LinkedInLearning

Boring (adjective): Causing boredom; dull or uninteresting.  ⬆️ FACT: The word "boring" typically refers to something that lacks excitement or novelty. For a long time, I viewed it negatively. I’ve said things like, "I don’t do boring," "Let’s ride the ⚡ !," and "Let’s f#&*ing GO!!". I still say those things, but it’s incredible how perspectives can shift. Now, I find myself embracing boring, keeping it simple, and focusing on consistency. I came across a post by Dr. James DiNicolantonio, Pharm.D., on Instagram that got me reflecting on my own health and fitness journey-- how I’m becoming a “mature athlete.” Embracing boring, sticking to simple routines, and being consistent has brought about some epic changes in my life. Should we reconsider "boring" as a path to greatness? I think so. It may not be easy or glamorous, but it will be effective. Where in your life—> whether personal or professional—> could embracing boring, excelling at simplicity, and staying consistent lead to an epic transformation? These small changes could impact your life physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Feel free to share what you’ve done, what you’re working on now, or your thoughts below ⬇️ #boring #simple #consistency #putinthework #leadership #individuals #teams #hgroupcoaching

I used to think that bad things shouldn’t happen to me... I know this sounds irrational, but we humans can often be that way. In my mind, if I was kind, lived with integrity, and contributed my unique skills and talents to society, I shouldn’t have to deal with hard things. Problems should stay at bay. But when challenges hit, I’d scramble for solutions. If my efforts fell short, I’d start wondering, What did I do wrong? Why is this happening to me? And as a natural problem-solver, I’d try countless ways to fix things. Now I am embracing that challenges are an inevitable part of life. The greatest gift you can give yourself is not to take them personally. Don’t just go through challenges—grow through them. Nothing is meant to break you permanently, but sometimes things will, and that’s okay. You can rebuild yourself at any point in life. When I resisted adversity, it only persisted. So, I learned to surrender. Accept what is. It may not be your fault, but it’s up to you to keep moving forward. Every hardship carries a lesson and an opportunity for growth. It’s okay if you can’t see it yet. Show yourself compassion. Don’t take life too personally. And continue to believe that no matter what life throws at you, you have the tools to work it out. (Photo: This is a pick-up day! Nia still isn't living with me full-time so I pick her up every week for a few days to spend time with her. I must say, having to be separated from my daughter while I pivot in my life and career is THE HARDEST thing that I've ever had to do. However, like one of my favorite authors and podcasters Glennon Doyle always says "We can do hard things." ) #mindset #thoughtleader #workingmom #challengeyourthinking

When you make changes to your career (and life) it can feel........uncomfortable. And sometimes, that feeling can be enough to stop you in your tracks. If that's happened to you, here's some insider info to help stop it happening again and get you comfortable with feeling 𝘶𝘯comfortable. Our brains are wired for comfort AND growth, which means that (however much we want change) we see the discomfort that comes with change as a STOP sign 🛑. Discomfort makes us feel vulnerable. The trick is to embrace that discomfort and vulnerability - it's what we do with it that matters. 💡𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 - becoming aware that we're feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable is the first step of change. Identify what's making you feel this way (𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵: it's rarely the task - go deeper and explore the feelings beneath it. Fear is often a driver of discomfort) 💡𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘁 - it's ok to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. By acknowledging the feeling, you're shining a light on it and stopping your brain filling in the gaps with negatives. 💡𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 - change 'should' to 'could', negative to positive, change the language to create opportunities. Remember, your beliefs determine your feelings, which drive your actions, which create your reality. 💡𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘁 - the more you do it, the more comfortable you get with feeling uncomfortable, and the more things feel comfortable 💡𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹? Sign up for my newsletter - link in the bio 👆and in the comments👇 The future's bright. The future's yours. #careercoaching #careerdevelopment #getcomfortablewithbeinguncomfortable #mindsetshift #reframe #careergrowth #personalgrowth

“Our biggest problem in life is that we think we should have them.” I heard this from Tony Robbins while watching " I am not your Guru" on Netflix for the second time. I think the first time I watched it, this statement didn’t resonate with me at all; I didn’t even recall it. But this time, it stuck. I believe that information comes to you when you’re ready to hear it. I couldn’t stop thinking about this statement. I was amazed at how hearing one sentence can change so much. I realized that I almost had a feeling of entitlement to a life without issues, which is utopian, and as soon as I was hit with any problems, I felt anger and frustration, as if what was happening to me was unfair. When I actually stopped and thought about it, there wasn’t a single person in life spared by problems, and even more than that—I was actually one of the most fortunate people. Life is just that; everyone has problems. Very often, our problems are what shape us and help us grow, and instead of spending so much time and energy feeling wronged, angry, or even guilty, if we spent that time actually trying to solve the problem, we would be so much more successful in life. Now, I'm not saying we should be happy about having problems or that we shouldn’t feel any emotions. We don’t want to fall into toxic positivity. I'm simply suggesting that while we should take time to feel and process our emotions, we shouldn't hold on to them—especially those that prevent us from growing and moving forward. This one sentence significantly changed my perception of life and how to deal with difficult situations. Is there any statement you’ve heard that did the same for you? #MindsetShift #LifeLessons #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingChallenges #SelfImprovement