I let my kid fail today and I would do it again. Today both of my kids were late for school, because one of them overslept their alarm.
I give my children a decent amount of freedom
and I treat them like young adults rather than teenagers.
I have made it clear what success looks like.
Success =
1. Up and ready.
2. Breakfast eaten.
3. Lunches packed.
4. Kitchen cleaned.
5. In car by 7:45am.
By 7:15 my son was not downstairs doing his normal routine.
I thought, maybe he is just taking a little longer.
It's not 7:45am yet.
By 7:30am I could tell he was going to miss.
There was no way he could do the things he needed to in 15 mins.
I did not hustle him along.
I did not give him a hard time about it.
I waited until he failed.
At 7:46am, I went upstairs and found him still asleep.
I informed him of the time and that we are now late.
He was like "oh crap, my alarm didn't go off".
I said "Alright, your sister and I will be downstairs waiting."
He rushed around getting his stuff together.
We ended up leaving about 10 minutes late.
His breakfast was a granola bar.
He didn't do his morning kitchen chore.
And on the drive to school I asked him "what happened?"
He replied with "My alarm didn't go off."
I let him know that was not what happened.
That was why it happened.
What happened was "He was late."
We engaged in a dialog about the alarm situation.
I asked him questions like "If this were a job do you think your employer would accept, my alarm didn't go off as a reason for you not showing up?"
I asked him questions like "How can you prevent this from happening in the future?"
In the car on the fly HE made a plan to make sure he was never late again because of his alarm.
We ended the conversation with him having
to take kitchen duty for the rest of the week.
Not once was I mad.
I treated him with respect.
He responded well and
I believe he will improve.
I responded this way because of all my time managing people in the workplace.
This situation is so close to so many work scenarios.
Moral of the story: If you as a manager swoop in and prevent people from failing you
1. Rob them of valuable learning opportunities
2. You constantly have to monitor and micromanage them
3. You create an environment nobody wants to work.
#leadership #learning #management #postpup #davidlocke