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In his new book, Cody Delistraty chronicles his almost decade-long journey to heal his grief—only to discover that there is no remedy, Linda Kinstler writes. https://lnkd.in/eG-vttpV After Delistraty lost his mother to cancer, he found himself taking the “path of least resistance” in conversations, partaking in what he calls the “bullshit dance we all do” to deflect and minimize the weight of our losses. “In ‘The Grief Cure,’ his debut work of nonfiction, Delistraty makes an admirable attempt to write his way out of that ‘bullshit dance,’ to directly confront the contours of his own grief,” Kinstler writes. “Yet his writing ends up mired in the same unsatisfying truisms about the universality and incommunicability of death that ostensibly propelled his project in the first place.” His search for grief cures takes him far and wide. He tries an exercise regime, and something called “laughter therapy,” in which he forces himself to laugh until he might cry. He uses audio recordings of his mother to program AI bots that can imitate her personality; he takes mushrooms, he goes on a silent retreat to the Esalen Institute, in Big Sur; he pays $3,295 to attend a “breakup bootcamp” to see if it is possible to break up with his grief the same way one breaks up with a destructive ex. “In sum, Delistraty wears himself—and his reader—out by frenetically searching for ‘cures’ for his grief, cures that, somewhere along the way, he realizes will never come. He seems lost, and his lostness, more than anything else, identifies him as a bereaved person. In the end, rather than finding a remedy for his incurable condition, he seems intent on drawing it out,” Kinstler continues at the link in our bio. Delistraty admits that his search for solutions allowed him to keep his grief close. But, Kinstler argues, “he is so busy giving himself tasks to complete and ‘grief cures’ to try that he at times seems to sidestep the true nature of his experience, treading lightly wherever he considers the profound emotional toll of his loss.” 📸:Sydney Mieko King

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John G.

Software Engineer at NAVAIR

3mo

Sounds interesting. Reminds me slightly of a book I recently read titled, "Lonelieness as a way of life" which challenges us, not to overcome our loneliness, but to learn how to re-inhabit it in a better way. To fail to do so, this book reveals, will only intensify the power that it holds over us.

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