A reader asked: “My younger sister has decided to attend an expensive private college. This surprised me: She was accepted at prestigious state schools with scholarships, which would be more affordable for our parents, who are footing the bill. When my brother and I went to college several years ago, such an expensive school would have been out of the question. We also had to take out small loans, which my parents are not asking our sister to do. Their financial situation hasn’t changed, and I feel frustrated. I had to select a college based on price and take out loans; she doesn’t have to do either. Should I raise this with my parents? They are kind and generous people, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. But I am still paying off the loans.”
I would argue your parents’ situation is different than when you went to school. Your parents are no longer financially responsible for you and your brother. That frees up obligations for parents. I suggest being grateful for the financial assistance you received and let it go. Don’t let financial choices damage your relationships.
I would say to not dwell on it much. It all works out in the end. My parents had 4 kids and could not help the oldest 2- myself and my sister- with college expenses. No college funds. We both took out copious student loans, but it’s built character paying them off. We both worked during college. I had a full time job every day of my college years and I’ve never regretted the hard work alongside the learning. Our grandmother helped with tuition which was very generous. The younger two have college funds but have decided not to attend college. Go figure! But it has all worked out in the end- my parents often remind my sister and me that we got them during their younger years, worth more than gold. Either way I think it’s best not to raise the issue. I promise it all works out.
You are their daughter, therefore you are an integral and important part of the family. I see no reason whatsoever why you can’t ask your parents questions in a respectful, pleasant way. In fact, I think you should question them. It may be an excellent learning experience for your parents, as well as your sister, who may need to learn more self-reliance, less dependence on “mommy and daddy,” especially on their finances; every year, as a person ages, the finances become more important and less able to control due to outside forces. Obviously, your sister wants to have her parents pay for her bills, so don’t be surprised if she takes Umbridge at you requesting. Your parents may be a bit surprised, but once they think about it and digest what you say, they may realize that you have an extraordinarily valid point, especially as a member of the family. Good luck! — Susan F.
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Fair is not always equal.
It's completely natural to feel the way you do, given the circumstances. However, it's important to remember that your parents are making choices based on what they believe is best at this time. It might be worth having an open and respectful conversation about your feelings with them. Remember, everyone's journey is different and unique to their own experiences. #FamilyMatters #EducationCosts #OpenCommunication
We are Bangladeshi students. We need international intervention.Right now police are attacking our unarmed brothers and sisters in universities without any reason. They have blocked their mobile network as well. Please help our students ..Bangladeshi students urgently need international support. #SaveBangladeshiStudents 🇧🇩🙏 #SaveBangladeshiStudents #ALjazerra #Bbcnews #CNN #TheWashingtonPost #TheNewYorkTimes #TheGuardian #BBC #AlJazeeraEnglish #TheWallStreetJournal #CNBC #DhruvRathee #UnitedNations #NewYorkTimesOpinion #ABCNews #NewYorkPost #ProjectNightfall #AbhiandNiyu #QuotaReformProtest #quota_movement #bdpolice_brutality #bsl_brutality #save_bangladeshi_students Please save our brothers and sisters🇧🇩
We are Bangladeshi students. We need international intervention.Right now police are attacking our unarmed brothers and sisters in universities without any reason. They have blocked their mobile network as well. Please help our students ..Bangladeshi students urgently need international support. #SaveBangladeshiStudents 🇧🇩🙏 #SaveBangladeshiStudents #ALjazerra #Bbcnews #CNN #TheWashingtonPost #TheNewYorkTimes #TheGuardian #BBC #AlJazeeraEnglish #TheWallStreetJournal #CNBC #DhruvRathee #UnitedNations #NewYorkTimesOpinion #ABCNews #NewYorkPost #ProjectNightfall #AbhiandNiyu #QuotaReformProtest #quota_movement #bdpolice_brutality #bsl_brutality #save_bangladeshi_students Please save our brothers and sisters🇧🇩
I have found that sometimes people's motives for doing things are totally unexpected, asking allows a non-judgmental attitude. Also, if the real question is : do they love you less than they love your sister, it is probably completely wrong 😊
Business Development Executive at Metropolitan Chicago
1moEvents happen in your life that you can't change and are none of your business. Your sister's choice and your parents paying for it is their business. As your parents age and perhaps require assistance from you kids, this item may be revisited depending on your moral views and life philosophies at that time. Otherwise, let it go, be thankful that you had parents who encouraged you and focus on your life's path. Thus, anger won't be your distraction and will allow your goals to be your focus.