Toll Brothers’ Post

After yesterday's post, someone mentioned the topic of Identity, so I thought I'd write about that - carrying on my Pride Month Posts. We all hear it these days... "I identify as...". Some of you are serious, speaking about your gender identity, whilst others of your joke. I recently heard someone in an Inclusive Leadership workshop I delivered speak about a news article about a girl who 'identified as a cat'. I can't say if it is real or not...but I do think IDENTITY is important. Social Identity Theory is a predominant foundation when it comes to workplace engagement and performance. The theory from Tajfel and Turner (1979) states that the groups (e.g., workplace, social class, family, football team, etc.) people belonged to were important sources of pride and self-esteem. Extrapolated, if people at work feel as though they were part of the wider workplace group, it would increase their pride, self-esteem, participation, engagement and performance. But what if who I am as a human being does not fit in with the groups that surround me? Take for example, the trans man who gets their dream job, only to realise that the team and the business they work in is largely 'boys club', with high levels of banter that 'take the piss' out of people who are different. What happens to engagement? The trans man will never disclose themselves for fear of being outcast and excluded. This man's social identity will never be inline with their identity of self, and thus will create separation in the team. Griffith and Hebl (2002) found that gay and lesbian employees who disclosed their sexual orientation to coworkers experienced higher job satisfaction and less anxiety about turnover than gay and lesbian employees that did not disclose their sexual orientation. This will be largely due to the release of cognitive load from living in anxiety, freeing up precious brain resources towards being part of the group and performing proudly. So what? Ask yourself - how often have you felt excluded or not part of the group? Whether or not you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, we ALL have different social identities that fit with the groups we belong to. What would happen if there was a mis-match in your groups with who you are? How would you feel? #LGBTQ #DEI #Inclusion #organizationalpsychology #Pride ProudHR

The culture of feedback is something that completely changed our workflow at Hily — Dating App, and Taimi: LGBTQ+ Dating App. It’s definitely the thing I’d like to share to help young managers pay attention to their collaboration with the team. We are still in the process of moderating and finding the ideal approach for it, but there already are a bunch of rules that our colleagues follow: – Check your motives. – Be objective and specific. – Never turn the talk in a personal direction. – If you criticize, you propose alternative options, or you honestly admit you don’t have any, but you are ready to help with searching/creating. – The feedback should be inspirational and developing and not abusive. – Speak only for yourself; don’t pass the words of others. – Allow commenting and explaining. It’s been the third year of implementing this type of communication, and I can see the boost in productivity and self-improvement across the teams. Truly sure we’re on the same page, and it’s gaining momentum.

Lady Gaga (camp! 👍) once said that "there can be 100 people in the room, and 99 don't Believe in you, and just one does" ... but what if that one person isn't yourself? In a recent talk I asked a room full of queer university students to stand up. I asked them to stay stood up if they'd be comfortable coming out at work. All but one student sat down. 100 people in a room, only one believed they could be themselves (not camp! 👎) So the question becomes, what are we doing so wrong when the future of our workforce don't feel they can comfortably be themselves? Perhaps it's the media barrage of anti-lgbt martyrs going on their "I've been fired for expressing myself" press tours. Perhaps it's the horror stories of workplace discrimination spread across Tiktok... whatever it might be... it's very clear that workplaces and the people within them experiencing a rift between their current culture and the gen-z workforce. This isn't necessarily new information though, research out of IPSOS finds gen-zs are expected to change jobs TEN TIMES more than their older counterparts. The result: a skills and experience vacuum where workplaces can't find talent & staff don't stick around long enough to become experts. I'm really lucky that I get to work with Gen-Zs entering the workforce on a daily basis. I've developed a unique understanding the cultural divide building between generations & what workplaces are missing out. The reality is that we can't continue to ignore this gap because work quality and innovation will begin to drop and queer Gen-Zers will be left behind. We have to start working towards cultures that work for all diverse people regardless of age in a way that's demonstrable, systemic, and sustainable. Until that day, I hope the amazing Gen-zs I work with know that regardless of the number of people in the room, I unequivocally believe in them. Fire me a DM if you fancy chatting more! #lgbt #culture #diversity

Happy Pride!! Joining a workplace that not only recognizes but celebrates diversity has been a liberating and affirming experience for me. In environments where inclusivity is woven into the fabric of the company culture, each day becomes an opportunity to not only be my authentic self but to thrive without reservations. What sets such an environment apart is the palpable sense of belonging it fosters, breaking down barriers that traditionally silenced voices like mine. Here, diversity is seen not as a checkbox but as a source of strength, innovation, and creativity. The support extends beyond mere words; it is reflected in robust policies, active employee resource groups, and a leadership that leads by example. It's in the way colleagues become allies, and how our contributions are valued for the quality of work and the unique perspectives we bring to the table, rather than who we love. Being out and proud at work has not only allowed me to grow professionally but has also given me the platform to advocate for those who might still be finding their way. It is a poignant reminder that when we create spaces where people feel seen and heard, we unlock a level of engagement and productivity that transcends the norm. To anyone in leadership pondering the impact of inclusivity, let this serve as a testament to the transformative power of a truly supportive environment. It's not just about doing the right thing; it's about doing the smart thing for your people and your business. #🌈 #BlackGay #BlackGayLove #BlackGayPride #BlackGayMen #BlackGayMan #BlackGayMagic #BlackGayDaddy #GayDILF #BlackGayScruff #BlackLGBT #BlackLBGTQ #BlackGayMenMatter #BlackGayMenOfColor #QueerCommuity #BlackQueerComunity #LGBTCommunity #MatureGay #GayBlackMen #Homosexuality #LoveIsLove #Equality #LGBT #LGBTQIA #BlackLGBTCommunity #MatureGay #GayBlackBoy #BlackGayGuys #BlackGayPride #BlackGayBoy #Homosexuality #BlackBoyJoy #LoveYourPeople #InTheTrenches #Motivation #Empowerment #Empathy #UniquelyUs #Optimism #UnwaveringConfidence #OverTheTop #MakeADifference #Leadership #Management #IAmCapable #EmpathyFirst

Coming out is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. For those I've never met, I'm Mark Putrus (he/him/his), a first-generation Italian-American, Gen X, husband and dad. As you can see, several intersections make up who I am. So, I'm not just a gay man. Being a gay man is something I share openly, but it hasn't always been this way. While I'm open about my identity, it's important to remember that coming out is rarely a one-and-done deal for members of the #LGBTQ+ community. It can be difficult, especially in the workplace, where seemingly casual conversations can be unexpectedly personal. As #PrideMonth celebrations begin, I think deeply about my own journey. This is a time to reflect on and celebrate the experiences that have shaped us into who we are today. Growing up, I often felt like an outsider, desperately trying to fit a mold society had crafted for me. I hoped that entering the corporate world would be different, a place where my skills and abilities would be valued above all else. Yet, I quickly learned that even in the most progressive organizations, biases and prejudices still lingered. It felt lonely at times. And the fear was real. I found strength in the vibrant #LGBTQ+ community and the friends, family, and allies that have made all the difference. But one thing stands out for me, and that's representation. This is why representation matters at work: 🏳️🌈 Visibility ignites hope: As a young person, it was hard to imagine an authentic future when every TV show and commercial was heteronormative. Seeing successful #LGBTQ+ people in the workplace shows what's possible. 🏳️🌈 Creates a safe space: Being visible in the workplace signals to people that it's safe to approach me, fostering trust and connection. 🏳️🌈 Breaks down stereotypes: Representation challenges harmful stereotypes and shows the diversity of identities within the #LGBTQ+ community. 🏳️🌈 Drives innovation: Diverse perspectives lead to better problem-solving and more creative solutions. 🏳️🌈 Strengthens company culture: Inclusion creates a more welcoming and supportive environment for all marginalized communities. At Nativo Inc., I'm proud of the inclusive culture we've built. It's a place where everyone feels valued, heard, and seen. Our focus on inclusion isn't just a box we tick; it's part of our DNA because we believe we are strengthened by our differences. We celebrate each person's unique identity and perspective, knowing that divergent thinking fuels our growth. If you identify as #LGBTQ+, remember that your identity is your superpower. In a world that still often tells us to hide, be brave enough to shine when you're ready and on your terms. Your courage paves the way for the next generation. To our allies: your support is invaluable. Thank you for standing with us and advocating for a more inclusive world. Happy Pride Month! 🏳️🌈

Have you ever felt like “the only one”? Recently I’ve entered into a lot of conversations where colleagues have been openly sharing about their experiences of entering into meetings, teams, and events where they express feeling like “the only one” in the room…the only mom, the only person of color, the only one over 40 years old, the only woman, etc. I recognize this in myself throughout my career, as well, most times being the only open member of the LGBTQ+ community in a lot of corporate settings. Do I belong here? Will my voice and ideas be heard? Will I be adversely judged? At times this has caused me to shut down and not bring my full potential to my team and to my work.   Being “the only one” can bring about many feelings including fear, imposter syndrome and self-doubt. It often happens that people from underrepresented backgrounds or communities find themselves being the only person “like them” in the company, meeting, conference, or other professional/public setting. It is important that we recognize and have empathy for this experience as it can severely limit the performance and sense of belonging that we feel AND need at work.   Let’s think about how being “the only one” can become a competitive advantage! I’m committing to “pulling up a chair” for the underrepresented and deeply practice how we can create belonging for “the only one” in the room. #representationmatters

Inclusivity isn’t just a label—it’s a practice that demands action and accountability. It’s time that organizations move beyond using ‘inclusivity’ as a buzzword for internal accolades and truly embrace the social responsibility it entails. We must broaden our perspectives, challenge the status quo, and actively create opportunities for those who are often overlooked. Let’s not just talk about inclusivity; let’s embody it in our hiring practices and corporate ethos. Together, we can make a meaningful difference. #InclusivityInAction #SocialResponsibility #DiversityAndInclusion” #diversevoices #diversetalent

Allyship is about their comfort, not yours. You don’t have to understand it. You don’t have to agree with it. But you can still be an ally. What does being an ally mean? It means supporting the rights of a marginalised or minority group even though you don’t belong to that group. I still get homophobic comments from people in the street, funny looks when I’m in the women’s loos, and have my gender incorrectly assumed in messages. For any doubt: I am a woman, my pronouns are she/her. If you consider yourself an ally - and I’m connected to an awesome bunch of humans so I imagine you do - I want you to think about whether you’d be willing to put someone else’s comfort ahead of yours, to demonstrate your allyship. In the workplace, here are a few little things that would have a big impact: 🔸 If you hear someone saying something inappropriate about the LGBTQIA+ community, say something like “I don’t think it’s ok to say stuff like that”. It might provide a little discomfort to you having to say something, but I can tell you from experience that it feels reassuring when someone challenges this behaviour. 🔸 Use inclusive language. It may take you time to change from using ‘hey guys’ in your emails, but a simple change to ‘hey folks’ is inclusive and can mean a lot to people. 🔸 Visible support actually feels great. If you’re wearing a rainbow lanyard, drinking out of a Pride mug, attending LGBTQIA+ training and ERGs, then this lets the community know that you’re an ally - we can see it. #Ally #Allyship #Inclusion #LGBTQIA

THIS WEEK ON MY QUEER CAREER: my weekly newsletter on LinkedIn focused on empowering LGBTQ+ (& Ally) professionals. Vol 15. This week’s question: Hello, “Gay Leadership Dude®” … I need some assistance. Since our company has moved into remote and hybrid working situations, I’ve noticed that my leadership team on my GLBTQ Affinity Group has really changed. Pre-COIVD our meetings were fun and lively, more like a cocktail party where we got stuff done. Now it’s like pulling teeth to get people in the virtual meeting, let alone engaged. What should I do to get people back on board and engaged in our Affinity Group? ~ Lackluster Leader My 2¢ : In the challenging work environment today, Leaders need to tackle negative emotions like frustration, worry, anger, dislike, and disappointment within their teams. Strategies involve pinpointing root causes, emphasizing positives, employing empathy, and cultivating self-awareness. Promoting open communication as well as having team emotional check-ins can assist in handling these emotions, enhancing team dynamics, and maintaining productivity. Queer & Ally Leaders should also be aware of their own emotional states and their influence on the team. Emotions – positive and negative – are contagious! WHAT DO YOU THINK? To stay connected, you can subscribe through the link below. And help me break the 4,000 subscriber mark? PLEASE? :^D https://lnkd.in/eQZAehD3 #lgbtqa #diversity #inclusion #thegayleadershipdude #leadership

Kindness Intelligence 101: You are worthy before you begin. It is only in recognizing this, that it becomes self-fulfilling. I used to think that confidence and packing in the accolades would be the ultimate testament to my confidence. Instead, I've realized that knowing my worth from the get go is far superior. Here's why: -Knowing your worth has more to do than your salary or skillset or wealth of experience or knowledge. It's who YOU ARE and who YOU ARE BEING when you start a project or lead a team. -Worthiness has everything to do with valuing your whole self, your fire, your essence and yes, your solid, genius self. -There is ONLY ONE YOU. The project will not be the same without you. Your team will not be the same without you. Just being in the room makes everything you do worthwhile. This is where fulfilment of self comes from. Where recognizing your worth and putting it to good use is how you become fully expressed. #worthsharing #leadershipdevelopment #leadership #entrepreneurship #coachingforsuccess #lgbtq #womenatwork #womenempowerment #womeninbusiness