Speaker, Author, Poet & Campaigner. READ "The Happipreneur" & HOST our "Be More Hapipreneur" Show. Chair: Yorkshire in Business Ltd. Founder, Micro Business Alliance. Director, ORB. #PayIn30Days & 3.8M #ExcludedUK.
IT'S SATIRE - 2 of 4: "THE CIRCUMLOCUTION OFFICE was (as everybody knows without being told) the most important Department under the Government. No public business of any kind could possibly be done at any time without the acquiescence of the Circumlocution Office. Its finger was in the largest public pie and in the smallest public tart. It was equally impossible to do the plainest right and to undo the plainest wrong without the express authority of the Circumlocution Office". (Charles Dickens) As part of my role as a reporter for the Oxbridge Careers Gazette, I interviewed Sir Geoffrey Wallop-Johnson, the head recruiter for non-donors or friends of ministers. ME: Is the Circumlocution Office still the most important Government department? Sir GW-J: Certainly, every senior civil servant wants to work there. ME: I never see any job adverts for it. Why is that? Sir GW-J: We accept internal applications only. ME: You have to be a senior civil servant already? Sir GW-J: Correct. Additionally, you must work in the Department of Incidents, Science and Traction. ME: I've never heard of it. Sir GW-J: Like the Circumlocution Office, the Department of DIS Traction is not public-facing. ME: What does it do? Sir GW-J: It keeps the public calm in the face of major incidents, such as assassinations, classified file leaks, financial crashes, pandemics, wars and royals posting dodgy photographs. ME: So how does it keep the public calm? Sir GW-J: Well, in the trade, we call it the "Now you see it, now you don't" department, as it has to change the story from something the punters may not like into something they do. It's an "Oh, that's OK then" effect. ME: You can't do that with war, can you? Sir GW-J: War is an easy one. The formula is to show that the opponents are mad, criminal, ill, undemocratic and a threat to our way of life - Glastonbury, Lords, Sunday lunch - that kind of thing. Then never say how much money we make, only count your injuries and deaths, never the women and children in the oppo's country. Then, replace the war stories with heartwarming stories of national treasures, dangerous protestors and activists or celebrity illnesses, deaths and squabbles. ME: How do our graduates get a job in DIS Traction? Sir GW-J: We're very inclusive. They don't need a degree but must have attended Oxford or Cambridge after an approved prep and public school. Oh, and they must be at least fourth-generation Englishmen with their own property in London. ME: So why is promotion to the Department of the Office of Circumlocution better than staying in the Department of DIS Traction? Sir GW-J: It's a job for life. It pays the best. What goes in never comes out. Ministers, their Donors, and Special Advisers revere it because, unlike DIS Traction, it "loses forever" what the public may erroneously think are sensible policies. ME: Such as? Sir GW-J: #payin30days or less. ME: Oh!
You might like this Mychael Owen & Nathan Hardwick (FIOEE) as it's a reminder of the genius and mischievousness of Dickens' political satire. 😎
Jos Burton
7mo
Brilliant Tony Robinson OBE - how else would we get through without DIS Traction??
It's fascinating how Charles Dickens' satire on bureaucracy still resonates today. The dynamics of power and control within government departments are both intriguing and concerning. Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking insight, Tony!
Stephen Davies
7mo
That about sums things up.
Speaker, Author, Poet & Campaigner. READ "The Happipreneur" & HOST our "Be More Hapipreneur" Show. Chair: Yorkshire in Business Ltd. Founder, Micro Business Alliance. Director, ORB. #PayIn30Days & 3.8M #ExcludedUK.
7moFor my writer (and reader) friends on LI: Taryn Lee Johnston Jos Burton Jan Cavelle George Forster Katie Stidolph Tess Parker FRSA💡✨🔦 Mayira Thomas Mayfly Coaching 😊 Merlie Calvert 🐸 💥Janice B Gordon - Customer Growth Expert FISP FPSA FRSA Dinah Bennett Brigit Douglas Rebecca Appleton Louise Third MBE Lorraine Allman Ian Farrar Barbara Tennet 😎 Ian Cass Stephen Liddell Jennifer Griffiths