What does Passion look like? And how do we get more?

We must act out passion before we can feel it. -Jean-Paul Sartre

What does true passion look like? Is it loud and charismatic? Is it Steve Jobs revealing just "one more thing"? Or is it working 18 hours a day on a start-up? Maybe even a soft kiss between star-crossed lovers on the silver screen?

Whatever it is, it is core to our existence as human beings and something we all want more of at times.

When I was 19 years old it was apparent I had a passion for designing software. Passion is one of those things that may be hard to describe - but you know when you see it. In my case, during the late nineties it took the form of me walking to community college every day. I wasn't signed up for any classes. I'm not even sure I was supposed to be there. But I had spent most of the night before writing my code and designs on graph paper and I was eager to see them come to life on one of the Pentium 166 powered PCs in the computer lab.

Almost as soon as the lab opened I would plop down in the one of the vacant seats, re-install my programming software they'd wiped out the night before, insert my floppy disk and pick up where I left off. I had my graph paper with pencil scribblings of source code and user interfaces in tow and I couldn't be more excited. I would sit there for hours until the lab closed. Bringing my ideas to life. And loving every minute of it. I know now looking back, that it was extraordinary passion combined with slightly above-average technical skills that earned me a job as technical lead for Microsoft Consulting Services before I ever even had my own computer.

That's probably how the story will go down in history and it's true but I think it dangerously leaves out the most important ingredients for passion. I wasn't some sort of 'passion savant'. Looking back I think there are four cornerstone ingredients to discovering and maintaining passion:

1. Community - A key ingredient to discovering passion is being surrounded with people who are also passionate about similar interests or causes. For me this started in junior high and high school computer labs, spending time with curious and very intelligent people I enjoyed being around. Conversation with peers and healthy competition helped motivate me to develop my skills. Nowadays, it's much easier to find these groups outside of school using sites like Meetup.com. If you haven't already, check it out. It's pretty cool seeing meetup groups with interests and curiosities similar to yours. If you're the shy type you'll find similar groups online even using sites like Pinterest or groups here on LinkedIn.

2. Taste Testing - No one is passionate about something they've never 'tasted' before. Often times passion starts out as a mere inkling; a small spark of interest. Don't seek passion. Instead seek exploring something that simply interests you. The passion will come. I never would've had any exposure to computers had they not made us go to computer class as early as 2nd grade. I would have preferred playing outside on the new jungle gyms. When new things are in front of you consider it a great opportunity to 'taste test' a new experience. You may just find an unexpected passion.

3. Positive Reinforcement - There may be tons of stories of people overcoming naysayers to achieve great things but everyone needs a cheerleader in their corner. As your interest begins to evolve share it with supporting loved ones or similarly interested people and glean from their feedback, experience and different perspectives. Ideas are fragile things and so are moments of passion. Protect both by sharing with the right people in the early days. When I shared my rudimentary variations of the school assignments with our teacher he always greeted me with a genuine 'ada-boy!' followed by a challenge on how to improve it. He continually stoked my curiosity and passion.

4. Studying - I can tell how passionate someone is about a topic based on how much they voluntarily study it. Including myself. Warren Buffet said, "Other guys read Playboy, I read annual reports." When your passion wanes, your desire to study it is one of the first things go. I think all passions are about bringing ideas to life. Studying and practicing helps you master that interest so you can be more successful bringing your ideas to life and get more joy out of the process. I happily spent most of my money on $50 computer books when I was 19 for exactly that reason.

Point being, whatever your passion is: from being an excellent parent, engaging teacher, entrepreneur or trading baseball cards - passion is a fire we often take for granted but should never live life without. The fire of passion will rage sometimes and it will desperately need fuel other times but you should always have one. Don't let the mundane grind of the status-quo rob you of feeling the joy that can only come with true passion. And don't feel disheartened if you don't know what your passion is or if you've lost it. Simply start with small goals, what you are curious about and other interests. Passion will find you from there.