3 Top Lessons I Learnt...

I was fortunate to get another chance to learn from a community of coaches. This appeared at our Monthly ICF Charter Chapter of Malaysia meet last weekend. A total of 18 coaches gathered together to experience, engage and exchange coaching sessions in triads of coach+client+observer.

The topic was mooted and agreed to be in the area of making ‘Coaching as a Career’.   As the sessions moved into motion, a lot of emotions were expressed and sensed, as coaches supported their clients to navigate their path through their topic.

We re-grouped to solidify our learnings and to garner the wisdom of the group. This part of the session was totally enlightening, edifying and educational for me.   The 3 top lessons that I learnt were:-

 Firstly..Contracting a Coaching Agreement(ICF Core Competency 2)

I learnt that without the coaching agreement, the coaching conversation may be led astray, lose its focus and hence lose its impact.  It will end up as a chit-chat or normal conversation with zero forward movement.  I vowed to conscientiously  up-skill in this area and ensure this CRITICAL step is included in each one of my coaching conversations.  One simple way - was to ask the client this question

• " What would be a meaningful outcome for you today?"

And Secondly..Building Trust and Intimacy(ICF Core Competency 3)

I learnt that spending time to build this competency was critical.  It not only helps to set the tone, rather it helps the client feel he can trust the coach and will be more willing to allow the coach to explore the deeper underlying issue rather than than just skimming the surface of the topic.   Some simple examples on how this competency can be strengthened are;  building rapport with simple casual welcoming questions, smiling, laughing with the client, maintaining the same pace as the client, making effort to keep eye contact, nodding, body language to show that I am listening.  I, as the coach can also check with the client on the importance of the topic by asking

• " What is making this topic important to you now?" 
• " What will the outcome get for you?"  

And Thirdly..Creating the Coaching Presence(ICF Core Competency 4)

I learnt that I, the coach needed to be in the ‘zone’ with  my client, as it can help my client to make shifts in his thinking, feeling and doing.  This can be visible by changes in his body language, tone of voice , quickening in the pace of his speech and even in his facial expressions.  By being less process driven and having less ‘I will rescue you’ thinking, I can connect with my client at the "BEING" level.  At this level, I can challenge my client to re-frame his thinking pattern,  encourage him to stretch his current beliefs, invite him to ‘unblock’ his emotional setbacks and unshackle what is holding him back!   Some simple questions that I, the coach can use include;

• 
  "What is the most helpful action that has worked in the past, that you can re-use now?"
• "What is the most important element to consider for you to move forward?" and
• "What is standing in your way?"

From this My conclusion is that ...