35 Lessons Over 35 Years

As I celebrate 35 years today, I want to share 35 lessons I've learned. 

Now that I share these, please know I still need help implementing them at times and am far from perfect.

1. You are the content you ingest. If you listen, watch, and absorb good content, it will make you feel better. I have, among other things, been on my Judge Judy binges at times and found myself feeling depressed. I have changed this by listening to a Blink from Blinkest each morning and relevant podcasts/audiobooks. This little change has helped me stay in a growth mindset and feel better. 
2. Failing is just another word for learning. Being in startups for the last 12 years, I learned that you must fail every day. This was weighing on my opinion of myself and putting it in a negative light. I shifted the way I think about it to be along the lines of; I didn't fail at something; I just learned how not to do something. 
3. Call your grandparents. I knew it made my Grandmother's day, if not week, whenever I called. Get in the habit of calling your grandparents. 10 minutes to you could be the best 10 minutes for them. I wish I could call mine. 
4. Alcohol is overrated. As someone who partied hard in my early years, I never thought I could have been social without it. As I've gotten older, I found that the confidence that comes from having a few drinks can be achieved by setting small social/networking goals and achieving them to help build that confidence. 
5. Lemons into lemonade. How can I turn this negative into a positive? I once broke both my arms and used my cast to propose to my wife. How could she say no?!
6. Take care of your knees. As someone who blew out my knee when I was 21 (ACL/Meniscus/cartilage damage) and has had various problems ever since, all I can say is, take care of your knees. 
7. Control the message. People will come to their own conclusions about everything. They will only have part of the story and will fill in their own gaps. Planting the seed early on how you want something to be viewed will often prevent a future headache or miscommunication. 
8. Delay short-term gratification. This has been one of my struggles, whether crushing an entire bag of Lay's sour cream and onion chips or relaxing over working out. Delaying how I feel now and prioritizing how I will feel in the future will help me feel better. 
9. Avoid debt. The borrower is the slave to the debtor. I've continued to see people live above their means and now lack freedom because of the massive debts they've compiled. 
10. Be kind. Kindest has the ultimate rippling effect. This is my ultimate travel hack and has opened so many doors that should have stayed shut in my face. If you can take one thing away from this post, it is to be kind to someone today. 
11. Compare yourself down. We always seem to compare ourselves against those who are doing better than us, which leads to ill feelings and self-consciousness. Take a step back and put it in perspective. People are doing far worse than you who would love to be in your situation. 
12. Whenever I am upset with someone it's because they didn't meet my expectations. Whether it's family, friends, or colleagues. Internally, I hold everyone to certain expectations and find that whenever they don't meet them, I am upset. Look inward when you are upset and try and understand why that might be the case. 
13. Get some movement in each day. Whether it be a run, a lift, a dance, or as simple as a walk. The days I am active are better days. It's that simple. 
14. Food is fuel. Eating right will allow you to do more throughout the day and feel better overall. I've been known to have intense cheat days only to regret them ~30 minutes later. Understanding that ingesting good stuff will make you feel better is a key to a successful day. 
15. Your circle of friends gets smaller, and that is okay. I always joke that I got my degree in friendship while at College because I was in many different social circles. Over the years, I have seen this circle dwindle due to moves, career changes, and changes in priorities. It's always love, and I only wish the best for those I've called friends throughout my life. 
16. Check-in on those you love. Friendship is a two-way street. If someone matters to you, check in on them and see how they are doing. If someone randomly pops into your head, shoot them a note and tell them you are thinking about them. You'll never be disappointed that you did. 
17. Be bold and pick up the phone when friends call. There have been times when people I knew called, and I didn't pick up. Only something terrible happened the next day, making me regret not picking up the phone. Whenever I see a friend calling and able to, I pick up. 
18. Gratitude is the answer. Whenever I feel down, I try to remind myself that gratitude is always the answer. I will start a gratitude journal, write three things I am grateful for in the morning, and find it completely changes my perspective. 
19. Be genuinely curious. I have often not known something, but being genuine and curious has helped me learn so much. Be bold and ask a question with the fear of being looked at as stupid. The stupidest thing you could do is not ask the question and keep it moving. 
20. Control what you can control. This! All we can do is control what is in front of us. That is it. Once you let go of everything else and understand that, you can control what you can. 
21. It's okay to ask for help. The strongest people I know ask for help when they need it. Life is an open book test, play the game of life that way! 
22. You can learn anything on YouTube. I've learned more from watching YouTube videos than I did in College. A good Wi-Fi connection and curiosity can teach you so much. 
23. The energy you put out is the energy you receive. Call it the law of attraction, but there have been too many times when being a good person and having vibrant, positive energy has helped me surround myself with similar people. Be what you want to attract. 
24. Death, Taxes, and change. They say there are two guarantees in life: death and taxes. I would like to add one more: Change. Change is inevitable. Embrace it, look for it, and know that it is coming. 
25. You are not alone. Along my mental health journey, this has been the reminder that gets me through any situation: that at any point, I am not alone. It has been comforting to know that I am joined by family, friends, and other loved ones. 
26. Being a parent rocks. The most rewarding moments of my life thus far have been seeing my Daughter do things. Seeing how she gets a little bit better every day has been enthralling. Seeing my wife become a mother has been excellent. Not sleeping like I once was is less remarkable, but it is worth it for the memories. 
27. You're the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with. Whether it is your friends, family, or colleagues. You will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with good people who build you up. 
28. Only tell people what you do for work if they ask. No one cares about what you do. Look to connect with someone on a personal level before they place a label on you. I practice this at every networking event and am still amazed by the friendships I created before business started being discussed. 
29. Invest in your personal brand. This is a huge opportunity for every single person. Own your messaging and how you want to be seen and remembered, and set yourself up for success. If you put the effort and energy into creating your own brand, it will follow you from job to job and help to shorten your timeline to connect with people on a personal level. 
30. Never fault proactivity. I've managed various people over the years and learned that if someone was proactive and did a task, even if it was not the right task or done improperly, I could never fault them. We want these types of actions from people, and we need to encourage them to take the next step. If it is the wrong step, you must look inward because proper instruction has yet to be given. 
31. Be with someone who pushes you to be a better person. My wife is my rock, my best friend, and she helps me become a better version of myself. Too often, I have seen others end up with a person who is not this, and it usually ends in ruin. 
32. Work travel is glamorized by those who don't do it. I have been on the road at various points in my career. If you follow me here for any time, I'm sure you've seen some of those trips. Traveling for work looks fun from the outside, and don't get me wrong, there are some perks that come along with it, but I find it's overhyped. You are usually scheduled back to back with everything, and being away from family is always challenging, at least for me.  
33. Under promise and overdeliver. This is a simple one. Set the expectation and rise above it every single time. Only overhype what you can do to succeed. Set realistic expectations, maybe even a step below, and rise above. 
34. Nervousness is excitement. I get nervous before every public speaking opportunity, but I also get excited. I've tricked myself into believing that nervousness is just excitement, preparing my body to think on overdrive to maximize my speaking opportunity. 
35. Tell people you love them. If you care for someone and want the best for them, tell them. Too often, I have seen lives end unexpectedly, and I regret the last thing I said to them. Tell people you love them early and frequently. It's all we really need to hear anyway. 

It's been a journey over the last 35 years, and I am excited to see what I'll learn in the next 35!