Afflictions of our Modern Age: Part 1 of 5

Part 1: Instability & Not Needing Others

Instability

People of this century are particularly afflicted with a lack of stability. It is often experienced through feelings described by the phrase “the grass is greener on the other side,” or the phenomenon of FOMO (fear of missing out). It can be both a fleeing from something or a seeking of something new or different. Sometimes it’s escaping the shadow of our family, or other times it’s going where the jobs are. Whatever the source, it results in a restlessness that drives us to uproot and find some place new.

We humans are particularly good at masking our true intentions - putting an agreeable spin on things. We tell ourselves and others that we need to move. We can serve better over there, there’s more opportunity in this other place, they need my expertise more than this place. These things may or may not be true, but we often hide our true motives, burying them deep beneath the surface where they will fester and eventually find a way out, typically as instability of heart and mind. When we lack stability in the heart and mind, it is even more difficult to make commitments, especially long-term commitments such as marriage or a career. 

If we lack physical stability, then we also tend to lack stability of the heart and mind, which is far more critical, therefore we should not underestimate the power of physical stability. The solution to this affliction is to stay put. This is much easier said than done. There will inevitably be times where we will look and feel like fools to pass up some opportunity or another. It’s hard to say no to making more money or the opportunity to do more good. But in the end, there is a deeper fruit from saying no and staying put. 

When we lack stability in the heart and mind, it is even more difficult to make commitments, especially long-term commitments such as marriage or a career. 

Not Needing Others

As infants we all began life by needing others. That didn’t change much as we grew through our toddler years into adolescence. Somewhere around our teenage years we declared our independence and decided that we didn’t need others anymore. Some of us have gotten stuck there in our indignant independence, unable to ask for or accept help. That was me for too many years. I was going it alone. I had convinced myself that I couldn’t trust anyone but myself, that no one would look out for me except myself. So it was me versus the world, and I was convinced I needed no one. 

Unfortunately, when we live as if we don’t need others, we grow inward becoming cold and hard. We lose something of our humanity. We lose the ability to be charitable - the ability to care anymore. Like instability, this attitude affects our hearts and minds and renders us unable to make commitments. This affliction is self-fulfilling because at some point we can’t accept help from others when it’s presented. 

There are other forms of this affliction that are not so severe, where we keep people at arms length. We accept some help, but not the help we truly need. We have several or many friends, but no best friend. It often stems from fear - fear of rejection, or fear of being exposed as a fraud or as imposter syndrome. Whatever the fear is, it is strong enough to keep our true selves closed and secret.

Unfortunately, when we live as if we don’t need others, we grow inward becoming cold and hard.

The fact of the matter is that we can’t go it alone. We need others, especially at least one person who we can truly open up to, even with the scary ugly embarrassing stuff. But we should also surround ourselves with greatness. I’ve heard it said that we become like those we spend the majority of our time with, so surround yourself with people that you admire.

This concludes Part 1. 

Introduction

Part 1: Instability & Not Needing Others 

Part 2: Gluttony & Lack of Integrity

Part 3: Aversion to Manual Work & Negative Thoughts

Part 4: Neglect in our Responsibilities & Mortality

Part 5: Discouragement & The Daily Grind

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