Arrested for Hugging

An item in the news caught my eye a couple of years ago. Police in Nanjing in China arrested 11 people on the street - for hugging. It seems that these eleven individuals had decided that it would be a good idea to put up a sign and offer a free hug to anybody that wanted one.

It's not the first time this has happened: In 2013 a man was arrested in Saudi Arabia for doing the same, and there was also a report of something similar in Malaysia.

Now, I must admit that for me, a 58-year old male Baby Boomer trying to make sense of a world filled with stress, anger and hate, going around and hugging other people sounds like a brilliant idea. I know it sounds very "Hippy Sixties," but I can tell you that it’s a great alternative to what I see going on in the world today.

Wherever I go today, as a customer, as a supplier, as a fellow human being, I encounter alienation, apathy, unfriendliness, and even hostility that fills me with despair. If ever I was to be arrested, I would love it to be for hugging.

Why is it that the world has become so aloof and cold? Is it fear? It seems that we are so scared of the horrible world that we have become increasingly more isolated from one another. Another school says that we fear making ourselves vulnerable to rejection. Or perhaps we feel it is somehow beneath us to love and to seek love from others.

Or maybe it is because most of our leaders – political, business, religious, sporting, and others - are such poor examples of caring for others, (or at least that’s what I see some experts write about.) Maybe as members of the human race we are so angry with leaders and all power-hungry, manipulative people who try to dominate or take our money us for their benefit.

I don't know why, and I'm not sure about how we will improve the world, but I really believe that every day we need to challenge the apathy and indifference, and to replace it with more hugging. Yes, there is ugliness and pain in the world, but equally so there is also beauty and wonder and joy. The world is not such a terrible place, and the only hope that we have as a human race is to love each other, rather than hate, to reach out and to serve, rather than be indifferent.

A lot of recently published research on the science of happiness came to a number of simple and obvious conclusions about what we can do to become happier in our lives. A Time Magazine article, (17 January 2005 issue,) summarised this exquisitely:

• Count your blessings: Start a “Gratitude Journal” in which you weekly write down three to five things for which you are grateful, from the mundane, to the magnificent.
• Practice random and systematic acts of kindness: To both friends and strangers. The consequences are very positive - to them and to you. I recently saw a beautiful statement which said “Bringing happiness to others, we find ours.”
• Savour life’s little joys: Play close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Take “mental photographs” of these for less happy times. You don’t need me to tell you what to do – just think about all the miraculous and wonderful things that give you a sense of peace.
• Thank a person that has helped you become who you are: If there’s someone that you owe a debt of gratitude for their guidance or help or acceptance, don’t wait to express your appreciation, in person if possible.
• Learn to forgive, and to let go of anger and resentment: This is the hardest one for most of us. Write a letter of forgiveness - even if you don't send it - and get back your peace of mind. Remember that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick!
• Invest time and energy in friends and family: Strong personal relationships are more important than where you live, how much you earn, your job, and even your health. There is an old expression that says "Misery loves company." It's just simply not true. How do you bring joy to your life and to that of others?
• Take care of your body: Get plenty of rest, exercise, stretching, smiling, laughing, and stimulation, and practice these daily.
• Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships: You can’t avoid hard times, but you can have a belief system that helps you to cope. This usually includes religious faith, but also secular beliefs like, “Nothing lasts forever.” Sports coach John Wooden wrote: "Too often we get distracted by what is outside our control. You can't do anything about yesterday. The door to the past has been shut and the key thrown away. You can do nothing about tomorrow. It is yet to come. However, tomorrow is in large part determined by what you do today. You have control over that."

Many of you will remember Leo Buscaglia – the so-called “Love Professor” from UCLA who recorded a number of his presentations in the 1980s and 1990s. In one video called Only You can Make the Difference, he shared many wonderful ideas, but he was also great proponent of hugging. But one of the things that I remember was a statement he quoted from the Dalai Lama of Tibet. When asked about what is the purpose of life, he replied: “The purpose of life is to help others... And if you can’t help them, would you at least not hurt them?”

And in the world of business, every day we are given an exquisite opportunity – no, a privilege – to make a difference for our colleagues and our customers. South African economist, Dr. Azar Jamine, (CEO of Johannesburg-based company Econometrix,), stated that, “Business needs to wake up to the fact that just making money is an empty goal without contributing to the betterment of life of your fellow human beings.” I couldn’t agree more.

Your colleagues and customers’ memories of your kindness & helpfulness will extend well beyond the end of this uncertain economy. We have been given a magical opportunity to do something nice for them.

So stand up and make your statement! If there’s something that needs to be done, do it now. Choose joy and laughter and warmth rather than pessimism and despair. Choose to go for more, rather than less. Choose more enthusiasm and passion, not less. Choose to appreciate all of the wonderful things around us, and to not dwell on the ugliness.

Above all, choose friendship and service rather than indifference.

And as for the Nanjing huggers, what happened to them? Well, they were all released about an hour later with a warning to not arrange a gathering again without permission, and to stop doing these crazy and depraved things that corrupted society. Go figure.

(Image courtesy of the UK Independent Newspaper.)