The Battle In Understanding the Urge to Give Up

Picture a desert landscape, unforgiving and relentless, where the sun beats down with intensity as you sweat profusely, and then at night, it gets cold, and you need a blanket or heat to stay warm. Now imagine being thrust into this harsh environment, not as an adventurous traveler, but as a Soldier.

in search of the enemy expecting engagement. Further imagine, the explosions in the distance and the occasional siren for possible chemical weapon attack. It was the reality during Operation Desert Storm and a stark test of physical and mental fortitude. At this point in my life, I was in peak shape (physiology). My health, my eating, my sleeping, and taking care of my body was at it’s best in my life, but I still struggled to endure.

With the struggle to overcome the uncertainty and fears, you asked yourself these inner questions. Will I make it home? Will I have to kill another Soldier? Will I be maimed, injured, or amputated? These questions run through the subconscious mind of a young Soldier on the battlefield. In the face of danger, our bodies react instinctively. This response, often called "fight or flight," is hardwired into our central nervous system and is a global phenomenon for all humans. When confronted with a threat, our central nervous system springs into action. The adrenaline courses through our veins, sharpening our senses and preparing our bodies to face the danger head-on (fight) or flee from it (flight). When you are a 17-year-old Soldier in the desert with nowhere else to go, you only have one option, that is, to fight. There is nowhere to fly as your colleagues and leadership surround you. The only flight is to break down, and that is not an option.

The "fight or flight" phenomenon takes on a unique dimension on the battlefield. One develops faith that allows the mind to imagine or create the life you will have when this is over. You tell yourself repeatedly that I can do this; it's full tilt-boogie, balls to the wall, overstep the adversity, and make it happen, yet there is self-doubt in the subconscious. I was a Soldier carrying heavy gear, and weapons I was not comfortable using, burdened by the knowledge of the impending danger and I felt the urge to surrender more strongly than ever. It's not a sign of weakness but a testament to the human psyche's response to extreme stress as we naturally want to attempt to "flight" from stress and obtain relief. At this point in my life, I learned that the questions you ask yourself will control your mind and your outcome. Will you seize what you value in life (your life/health) or relinquish the fear and give up? 

During Operation Desert Storm, I, like countless others, faced the hot desert with my fellow soldiers. The scorching sun, the sandstorms, and the ever-present enemy forces were constantly on my mind. In those moments, the urge to give up would creep in like a shadow obscuring the path ahead. During these moments, I promised myself that if I made it out alive, I would do goodwill towards all and appreciate every blessed moment in life my creator had afforded me. I learned that my life is not dependent on others; I control the inner questions I ask myself and that I am not a victim of circumstances but rather the controller of my life.

In such dire circumstances, surrender can seem like an the only option. But it's here that the essence of resilience emerges. As Soldiers in the 2/67 Duke Battalion – Infantry Platoon, we would draw strength from our training, optimism of making it home, getting back to the WORLD as we called it (the USA), and the reliance from our fellow Soldiers that then became our brothers. We confronted the instinct to flee and instead chose to fight – not just for ourselves but more for each other. I am curious: do we do more for ourselves or others when under extreme stress? One could argue that we do more for others than we would ever do for ourselves!

I carried the lessons from the battlefield and applied them to my personal and business challenges. There were times that, unlike the war, I could have easily given up and tried something different. For example, try growing a car dealership while being full-time in the military, with a full-time job, and suffering two recessions. It’s nearly impossible! However, something inside me allows me to press forward no matter what life throws my way. I take immense pride today that I started with nothing. When I left for the Army, I didn't have a bank account and only had $30 in my wallet. My first paycheck was $443 for a month clear after taxes, and it was the hardest I had ever worked to earn an income.

To stay in the fight is mental. You must first recognize the instinct and understand that feeling the urge to give up is natural. I ask all that provide me the privilege to serve you by writing this article to please find a way to get support for your mission, whether it's your co-workers, friends, or family, such as how a Soldier does with their comrades. Our family, friends, and colleagues can help to provide strength and encouragement through tough times. Our physiology must continually improve to be our best selves to accomplish the adversities in life. One must has a balanced physiology with healthy eating, consistent movement, habitual exercising, and healthy sleep patterns that allow the body to rest. When you consistently work out, you push, stretch, and give your mind the intestinal fortitude and nourishment needed to overcome life’s biggest challenges. Self-esteem comes from doing hard things that were once imagined unattainable. You want your family and friends to see this in you so they can have the same victories in life. We have all heard don’t give your children a inheritance, teach them how to earn a income and take care of themselves. This is the absolute true definition of success in parenting.

When you think straight and take care of your physiology, you get a sense of universal serendipity. That is, the more you push with forward momentum, the greater your chances are of success in whatever you endeavor to accomplish; understanding the fight or flight phenomenon, one can draw on the inner strength and gather support to navigate the world's most significant challenges, the adversities we commonly face, or the darkest moments in our life. 

Just like how a battlefield will thrust a soldier into unfamiliar territory and very uncomfortable zones, our lives give us a daily occurrence of the unknown, which can sometimes be difficult to manage. Embrace engagement as a measurement of success, learn more about your physiology, and how you can improve it. I'm sure you, as myself, continue to learn and grow that leads to having another set of tools in the tool-belt to accomplish those things you only once dreamed were not possible.

Learn to appreciate what you have accomplished. Pat yourself on the back for getting to this point in your life, and learn to rely on your intellect, memory, and subconscious to give you the answer to always make the best decision with the information you have available. And, when your mind tells you it is time to throw in the towel, then you must do it anyway. Remember these challenges are something all human beings endure, those who are successful will face massive adversity consistently in life, instead, wipe the sweat from your nose and keep on boogying.