Covering Our True Selves: The Psychosocial Hazard We’re Failing to Mitigate

The conversations happening around most executive and boardroom tables about what it takes to provide psychologically safe workplaces continue to be too narrow and too shallow.

Levels of psychological safety are declining, with the latest research indicating that only three in ten people feel that their team is a safe space to be honest and bring up mistakes (down from four in ten three years ago). ‘Poor workplace relationships’ and ‘harassment’ are in the top three reported workplace psychosocial hazards. Over 90% of employees who feel burnt out report experiencing poor workplace relationships.

According to Deloitte, 95% of C-suite executives agree they should be responsible for employee wellbeing and that business leaders ‘have a responsibility to break down the stigma associated with mental health issues, like stress and anxiety, to ensure everyone can thrive at work’. However, only 56% of employees think their company’s executives care about their wellbeing.

It’s Not Just About Speaking Up.

Providing a safe workplace is so much more than providing ways for your people to speak up. Fulfilling your ethical and legal obligations to provide a psychologically safe workplace requires leaders to both monitor and mitigate a wide range of psychosocial hazards.

There are many different psychosocial hazards that can be present in our workplaces. These hazards include emotional demand, role ambiguity, role overload, role conflict, task conflict, aggression, exclusion and discrimination. If these hazards are not addressed or buffered with protective factors, such as leadership support and change consultation, they injure people. The People at Work tool is a good guide..

And there is another, very common psychosocial hazard that is rarely discussed – and that is the hazard of not being ourselves at work. This is a specific and pervasive type of emotional demand that takes a very heavy toll.

‘Covering’ is a Hazard

‘We all long to belong.’

When we feel a sense of belonging at work, we’re more likely to perform to the best of our abilities, more likely to thrive and more likely to stay. Research shows employees who feel like they belong are three and a half times more likely to be engaged in their work. And yet, so many people don’t feel truly seen, heard and accepted at work.

Sadly, one in two people are not willing to be vulnerable at work, two in five people say that they feel isolated at work, and one in three people feel that they can’t bring their whole selves to work and that they cannot be truly open about themselves.

The problem, of course, is that working life can feel like one long masterclass on how to fit in by fixing or hiding the many ways we are somehow inadequate, inappropriate or inconvenient.

This means that many of us have two jobs.

Our Second Job

 ‘Going against our true selves by forcing ourselves to conform is exhausting and hinders our ability to perform well and fulfil our potential.’ Francesca Gino

We have our regular job, which is hard. And then we have our second job, which is even harder. It’s the job of suppressing, disowning, fighting, denying, hiding, numbing and ignoring the parts of ourselves we feel afraid to reveal at work. This second job is the work of ‘covering’ - downplaying or hiding elements of your identity to ‘blend in’. Over time this second job takes a heavy toll on our health, our relationships and our performance.

Most of us carry the burden of this second job, but it’s really important to appreciate that this exhausting invisible load is not evenly distributed.

69% of people who identify as culturally or racially marginalised women report having to “act white” to get ahead. 67% of woman of colour report ‘covering’ at work and 45% of people who identify as straight white men report ‘covering’ at work.

My friends who are women of colour tell me about how they feel pressured to ‘act white’ to get ahead at work here in Australia. They have shared how they avoid certain conversation topics, drink coffee when they don’t like it, constantly second-guess what they wear and how they do their hair and make-up and watch things on TV they don’t enjoy just to feel included in office conversations.

Research confirms the causal relationship between expressing one’s true self and improved wellbeing. Prolonged ‘covering’ and ‘surface acting’ has been linked to depression and anxiety, decreased job performance and burnout.

Creating Cultures of True Belonging

 ‘Places of false belonging grant us conditional membership, requiring us to cut parts of ourselves off in order to fit in.’  Toko-Pa Turner

We know that the best way to keep people safe and engaged - and to retain them is to ensure that they feel valued, seen and respected by their direct manager, and by their organisation.

For people to feel that they belong, they must feel they have permission to bring their true selves to work. They must feel valued and appreciated for who they are, not just what they do. As the research of Dr Brené Brown confirms, true belonging ‘doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are’.

Gone are the days when leaders could get away with pointing to anonymous employee surveys as evidence that people are safe, while conveniently ignoring the unspoken rule that ‘around here, it’s smart to fit in.’  

Finding The Courage To Do The Inner Work

'When we disconnect from our authentic selves, our actions are not driven by who we are but by our need to be accepted by the external world - and that will impose suffering.' Dr Gabor Mate

Many of the psychological hazards that exist in the workplace stem from the leadership. Often, the injuries that are inflicted on people at work happen because leaders have lost touch with the truth of who they are.

Many leaders are burdened with deeply buried psychological injuries of their own. And it’s these old injuries that cause them to behave in ways that are unkind, cold, cruel, harsh, hyper-vigilant, competitive, discriminatory, controlling, judgemental, perfectionistic, insecure or extreme.

I see so much unacknowledged trauma walking the halls of workplaces every day. And this is a safety hazard because hurt people hurt people.

Here is the inconvenient truth: Until we learn how to care for all the parts of ourselves, including the part of us who carry the burdens of past hurts, we cannot properly care for others.

Activating Our Unique Brilliance

'We will need a gathering of the potentials of the whole human race and the particular genius in every culture if we are going to survive our time.’ Jean Houston

Leaders saying that they value diversity, inclusion and belonging counts for nothing. Without true inclusion, the diverse brilliance of our people remains dormant at the very time we most need to activate it.

The best way to give people permission to be themselves at work is for leaders to go first. And the truth is that too many leaders are disconnected from their true nature at work and they have not been taught the self-leadership practices that support them to reconnect to their deepest selves.

Throughout my global executive career, I have personally witnessed and experienced a great deal of human suffering at work. And for me, the saddest part was that the vast majority of this suffering could have been avoided if leaders knew how to treat themselves, and others with more curiosity, compassion and care.

As more leaders find the courage to do inner work of leadership, the more workplaces become safer spaces for everyone.

Creating workplaces where everyone feels like they belong is better for the health of the people who work there and for the financial health of the organisation.

When people feel a true sense of safety and belonging at work, they are more likely to be deeply engaged in their work, to thrive, to perform, to be a positive influence on others and to stay.

That’s a win for employees, for employers, for customers, for employees’ families and for the communities in which all those happier, healthier, more fulfilled and more financially secure people live, work and play.

By being true to our deepest selves, we liberate our highest potential and serve the greatest good.

Hi there,👋 I’m Cassie. 

You know how most of the time we’re just skimming the surface of our potential at work?  Well, I support leaders and organisations to activate their true brilliance, because we can't afford to live as half-light versions of ourselves. The stakes are simply too high.

Learn more about the work I do here .

Subscribe to my bite-sized Happy Monday newsletter.

Check out my True Power Podcast .