Dispelling the Myth That Compassion Can’t Be Taught

by Pantea Vahidi, RN

One day in October, I received the familiar notification to complete my annual LMS modules. Among them was a course on using the glucometer, a device notable for its simplicity. It struck me how, as practicing nurses, we're required to sharpen seemingly trivial skills. I pondered why we're reminded annually of basic tasks like inserting a strip into a monitor, yet lack training on expressing compassion in our high-stress environment. 

The reality is that, while compassion is vital in our field, it often takes the backseat to make way for more technical or clinical skills. It is also important to acknowledge that while healthcare professionals come into this field to care for others, healthcare itself is fraught with chronic stressors such as high patient volumes, time constraints, administrative burdens, and the emotional toll of witnessing suffering and loss. This understanding helps us recognize that expressing compassion can be challenging, not because providers lack compassion, but because they are constantly preoccupied with urgent tasks and operating in high-stress situations. 

I remember an instance where I was taking care of a patient and found paper tissues all around the patient’s bed. He had diabetes, obesity, multiple comorbidities, and recently went through a below-the-knee amputation. Known for being “difficult”, he often insulted and disregarded the nursing staff. When questioned about the tissues, he cited the distance to the trash bin. 

Understanding his struggle, I moved the bin closer and cleaned up the ones on the floor. Yet, on my return, the scene repeated itself. Baffled, I questioned him, only to receive a disrespectful response. Despite the urge to react defensively, I paused to reflect on his behavior and with empathy for his suffering, I chose a different path that broke the toxic cycle in the care experience.

This patient encounter was likely one of the most pivotal moments in my nursing career, leading me to contemplate and develop a curiosity that altered the trajectory of my work. I realized that compassion doesn’t always come easy. It is a mindset, a choice, an intention, and it can be enhanced and cultivated.

It propelled me on a mission to study, create tools, and develop models to advance compassion in care.

Understanding Compassion as a Learnable Skill

Taking a look at the literature, compassion is defined as being sensitive to suffering, with a desire to relieve and avert it. However, I see compassion not just as a desire but as our intentional response to someone else’s suffering. While advocating for compassion to executive leaders, I observed varied interpretations of the term, often confusing it with its adjacent constructs. I realized that to foster this virtue, a standardized definition is essential. Hence, I developed The Vahidi Compassion Model™, breaking compassion down into recognizing the need, pain, and situation of another, followed by an offering to promote their wellbeing and prevent or alleviate suffering.

Put simply, compassion involves empathy followed by action. This model enables a focused approach to cultivate more compassion by emphasizing each component. Essentially, to enhance compassion, we must elevate empathy and encourage more action. This two-part pro-social construct necessitates a deeper examination of each element.

Compassion is Empathy Followed by Action

Empathy is our capacity to understand others, whether through emotional resonance or rational comprehension of their challenges. Affective empathy, for instance, occurs when we share similar experiences with someone and mirror their feelings, often manifesting as a physical reaction like "I feel your pain." On the other hand, cognitive empathy relies on our imagination to grasp another's experience, even if we haven't undergone it ourselves. Both forms of empathy can be cultivated through contemplative practices, self-awareness, and recognizing biases. When we elevate empathy, we consequently fertilize the soil that leads to more compassion.

Another cornerstone of compassion is our response to understanding another's pain. What fascinated me in the clinic was the contrast between clinicians who swiftly exited a patient’s room after delivering difficult news and those who remained present, sitting, listening, and responding to the patient’s concerns. As a bedside nurse the privilege of spending 12-hour shifts with patients allowed me to observe their reactions to both types of care. This experience motivated me to understand the drivers behind these different responses and how we can cultivate more of the compassionate response.

Cultivating Compassion: Empowerment Through Skill Development

Empowering and equipping care providers with the necessary skills in difficult moments is an effective way to foster compassion. This enables clinicians to offer compassion without defaulting to silence or numbness; effectively helping the provider herself avoid the feeling of helplessness, a leading precursor of burnout. Teaching compassion as a skill in healthcare settings is just as crucial as teaching any clinical skill, as it is directly correlated with improved patient outcomes.

Given the exhaustion and strain experienced by healthcare professionals, integrating more compassion into the culture can profoundly promote the health of care teams. By providing actionable tools, we can empower our healthcare workforce to express compassion even in high-stress situations where it may not come quickly or instinctively. In today's highly stressful hospital and clinic environments, where members of the care team sometimes operate on autopilot, having human connection skills not only benefits patients but also brings fulfillment to the caregiver through what the literature calls Compassion Satisfaction; simply put, that good feeling that we have after helping another.

By learning to be more compassionate, we can not only enrich the lives of those we serve but also replenish our own sense of purpose and fulfillment. 

About the Author

Pantea Vahidi, RN, is a faculty member for the Nursing Experience Project (NEP) by Practicing Excellence . She is also the founder of Compassion Clinic , where she collaborates with leaders to promote compassion through leadership and staff training, integration of compassion into policies and practice, and implementation of programs to foster a culture of empathy and compassion.

To learn more about how Pantea can help cultivate compassion in your organization, email her at pantea@compassion-clinic.com or visit www.compassion-clinic.com. You can also attend her upcoming event by clicking here: Understanding the Anatomy of Compassion Fatigue