Everything I Know About Self-Help part #3: THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF NOT GIVING A F*CK

An introduction to The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight

(BOTM #3, December 2017)

THIS BOOK IS FOR: Anyone who is spending time they don’t have
with people they don’t like, doing things they don’t want to do.        

This week we're revisiting anti-guru Sarah Knight's first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck  and I'm #sorrynotsorry  for all the swearing.

Sorry not sorry because sometimes, when it's really necessary, swearing really helps. 

And the message in this book - and all of 'anti-guru' Sarah's self-help work on boundaries and learning to prioritise ourselves - is REALLY necessary for so many of us.

I think (I know!) Sarah's work is a brilliant gateway drug to some of the harder self-discovery work and so have featured two of her books as BOTMs over the years, meaning Sarah has become a long-time champion of our Club from across the pond in her idyllic island home of the Dominican Republic (Sarah is living, breathing, suntanning proof that this sh!t works).

📢 I'm also DELIGHTED to announce that Sarah will be joining us for an online author event, May 3rd, to talk about her brand new book, Grow the F*ck Up  (book out 4th April). More info to follow on the feed...

INSIGHTS & ACTIONS

3 x LESSONS FROM THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF NOT GIVING A F*CK:

1. Time, money and energy are all finite resources and thoughtlessly giving them away results in us having no 'f*ck bucks' left for the best stuff in life: “You may not realise it, but the number of f*cks you personally have to give is a finite and precious commodity.” Spend them wisely.
2. Setting boundaries ultimately leads to MORE freedom (and less resentment) as you learn to prioritise you and spend your time, money and energy on the things that make your life better: “The life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck is all about prioritising. Joy over annoy. Choice over obligation. Opinions vs. feelings.”
3. Self-help doesn’t have to be all serious to... help! And hearing the same message in as many formats as possible is one of the best ways to start caring more about ourselves (aka giving less f*cks about what everyone else thinks): “It is a truth universally acknowledged that family members tend to think other family members have to give a f*ck about their lives just because they share DNA.”

1 QUESTION OF SELF-DISCOVERY: Ask yourself which of the following you need more of in your life: Time, Money or Energy. 

And then - using your diary and To Do list as reference - brainstorm/braindump all the ways you are currently ‘spending’ your f*ck bucks in this area. Next, choose 3 places/areas/people you can spend less on or - even better - remove entirely. Next, put these things in priority order. Next, action/take action towards the first one.....

1 x ACTION TO TAKE: Commit to no more 'passive acceptance'.

AKA not spending any more of your precious time listening to anyone you don't care about going on about something you give zero f*cks about.

“Maybe you even spent twenty f'ing minutes listening to Stacey go on and on about the gall of some parents to not do everything the way she thinks it should be done. And this act of passive acceptance—not to mention twenty minutes’ worth of f*cks given—is eating you up inside like a gang of termites at a log party. You need some life-changing magic, stat! So the next time this type of thing comes up, just gaze calmly at Stacey, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I know, I know, everybody has an opinion!” Then change the subject to neutral territory, like whether George Clooney is getting hotter with age.”

> GET THE BOOK

SHARE YOUR STORY

Have you read TLMONGAF and if so, what impact did it and the ideas in it have on you? If you have a story you’d like to share I'd love to hear it.