#Father’sDay and #Mother’sDay

I go down memory lane to fetch a few instances of my married life and subsequent fatherhood.

More than 3 decades back, still young, entered into marriage with a partner of my choice. After the alliance with my partner, we started our blissful, adventurous, enriching, delightful and hiccuping journey and moved ahead in life.

Few months into our marriage, my wife, one lovely evening, broke the news of us going to have our first baby.

The news left me with mixed emotions of joy, bliss, happiness, fear, uncertainty, but overall ecstasy of moving towards creation of a new relationship –  father and child. And about two years later we had a second child tocomplete our family.

Days after the break of pregnancy news, on both occasions, we started caring for - the child going to be born, the mother to be and the respective job at our workplaces, of course our home and the second time we also had a handful of trouble to take care of.

I am delving into my memories of late eighties and start of nineties when Internet in India was still not thereand gathering information like preparing for pregnancy and care etc. was not available at the click of a button still I made it a mission to do everything possible to take care of my wife during those months, her diet, protein intake, exercise, rest and much more. As she went about carrying the additional weight of our yet to be born child, each pregnancy, I went through her fatigue, mood swings, nausea, sickness, tiredness, lethargy, worries, fear of having a healthy child (now both young men), mood swings and the Pain. Tried everything, successfully and equally unsuccessfully, to keep her healthy and happy, made fresh snacks in the middle of the night, took care of some of her works, supported her, carried her and most of all tried to feel and bear her pain, all of it getting so strenuous for me that by the time of delivery I nearly collapsed from stress, from fear of pain that my wife was going through along with sheer overwhelming  expectations of the future and above all the distressing guilt of being the cause of pain!

This whole time, since the day we married and there after, did everything possible for my wife and my kids, took care of each of them in every possible way. My wife, of course did the same for us and more. 

From the birth of our children, till today, I carried my babies in my arms, felt their hunger, cooed them to sleep at the time they were teething, fed them their food as per their need, cried with them and laughed with them, experienced pain when one of our son fractured his arm, tried to comfort them when they missed out coming first in race, scolded them when he carried his friends pencil home, taught them to play Table Tennis, Squash, Badminton, Cricket, Roller Skates and a dozen more games, fired them when they laughed during vocal music and keyboard classes. Attended the School meetings. Adjusted to their teenage tantrums. Saw them growing up with time, eventually they overtook me vertically, by then getting somewhat follicly challenged and losing even those left over, because of continuous gnawing my teeth due to wild irritation at their growing bewildering and stupid antics.

I stood by them in their choice of studies, graduation and masters, was for them in their every need- from just plain few minutes of talk, study advise, financial talks, gf related or any thing else. Till they settled down in their jobs, I was their 24/7 ATM.

I went through the stress, perhaps more then them, while campus interviews were in progress and celebrated with them on getting the providential job offer, which I claim was due to our prayers and they claim on their merit.

At job, during work and thereafter, I was and am always there for them in their times of need. Sharing and enjoying their pleasure and stresses alike, joy of one getting posted at the same station as him spouse or the depression of other in not getting that expected annual bonus etc. etc.

Did try not to impose myself and not to give them stress due to my requirements, how successful was I at it- only they can tell.

Stood by them in all their choices from the day they were delivered to us, till now and till I am there. They chose us as their parents and gave us the sublime joy of parenthood.

But in this life’s journey, somewhere, Father’s Day gets half a response or even lesser as compared to Mother’s Day. Strange, is it not? 

Let us do away with all types of differentiations prevalent in the world today. 

Why do we need to create ‘good’ and ‘better’ of everything? Why equality is not there as a normal way of life?

There are good fathers and perhaps not so good ones but same is true for everyone and everything.

Let’s celebrate #Father’sDay.

Thinking over, have a regret in life, till my father was alive, I never did tell him that he was equally important to me as my mother for I always thought maybe in my next visit to him I will tell him how much I loved him. We were from that generation who respected and carried highest regard for our fathers and thought it to be out of place to express our love. Maybe, sometime later when I meet them will clear this doubt and tell them that they were equally important to me and were always there side by side in my heart. I loved my mother and my father, equally!

Celebrate #Father’sDay as we do #Mother’sDay.

The above is not written to promote male chauvinism, but a call for some equality.