Four Business Rules I Learned from Dating
Willem Gous
Entrepreneurial Literacy Expert | Making entrepreneurial thinking, mindset and mental fitness accessible to everyone through books, talks, masterclasses and programs. International Speaker | Author | Coach and Mentor
I reflected on my dating over my years of existence and realised that a lot of what happens in #relationships applies just as well in business. I hope you get value from this.
1. Neediness
The quickest way to scare someone off is to be needy. It shows them that you cannot stand alone and that they complete some missing part of your life. The same applies to customers. You are there to serve the customer. Being needy creates a situation where the client feels like they are serving you, and you keep pushing for more and more, and it leads to a situation where you are out of fair exchange.
Over my 22 years as an entrepreneur, I have had my fair share of cash flow problems, and it is easy to appear needy when you have bills, rent and school fees to pay. But I found even in those times, walking away was a good option. You are saving a client relationship in the process, and usually, a new one opens up.
2. The Immovable Rock
Boundaries are good. They give safety and certainty to a relationship and ensure that we both meet our needs. However, people grow and then we have to grow with them if we want to remain with them, which means moving some of the old boundaries and creating new ones. Being an immovable rock is the surest way to destroy the relationship. Rocks crack easily and can be smashed, and so will this stiff relationship.
The same applies to clients. They grow, shift, and change, just like our own businesses, and we need to adapt. If the client is growing in a direction we never intended or want to go, then we have the decision to move with or without them, just like in a relationship. And that brings me to the next important point.
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3. Talk Outside of Life.
Many couples get caught up in life, going to work, raising the kids, running the household, and going to bed only to have the same day the next day. They never spend time just with each other outside the daily routine, and slowly, they drift apart. One day they wake up next to a stranger.
I have had this happen to some clients. I am so busy delivering that I never take time off to spend time with them and hear how they are doing and where they are heading.
4. The Truth
Business is the art of relationships. And in all relationships, there will be conflict. How you deal with this conflict is important. We might have the upper hand and feel right. But you must remember there is my truth, their truth and the real truth.
Approach #conflict from a place of empathy and understanding. I had to eat a lot of humble pie in my life because I stuck to MY truth and did not realise there are two sides to every story. Be kind, be human, be open and proceed with love as best you can.
About Me
An #entrepreneur for more than 22 years. An international #speaker on #leadership , innovation and #entrepreneurship . Single father and firewalking instructor.
In my keynote, “Go Small to Go Big | Solving Unemployment and Poverty in Africa Through Entrepreneurship”, I speak about my job creation work using the Entrepreneurial Way. I reduced the time required for job creation through entrepreneurship to less than five weeks, making it possible to solve the unemployment crisis—a process developed in Africa for Africa.
Increasing employee engagement & productivity with financial wisdom that resonates | I assist ESD leaders to nurture financially literate entrepreneurs | Financial Education Speaker, Facilitator, Panelist & Money Coach
2yThey say the game stays the same, it is only the players that change. In the same vein, I think you have showed us how the principles of relationships stay the same regardless of whether we are together romantically or professionally. In my much younger years, I did notice that it was far easier to court another lady, when I did not really need her, i.e. when I was in another relationship. I think when we become too desperate, we have an unattractive aura that others do not want to be in any kind of relationship with. I was an immovable rock. In some of my client relationships, they had asked for an online version of my training but I kept saying that I prefer the physical masterclass and workshops. It took the Covid Lockdown situation for me to finally move online. I think if I had not moved online, I would have lost several customers. The last two years have thought us to be more humane in our working relationships, as this period was a test on our mental health yet we still had to deliver for our clients and partners. Through my clients and I talking beyond just the work deliverables, I have built stronger relationships and see them being clients, dare I say friends, for the foreseeable future.
Willem Gous - The Human Entrepreneur .. Nice insight. How would you recommend that this translates to corporate? In terms of relationships most corporate's believe that losing one or two customers wont harm their business. I had two horrible experiences with lack of customer care/service from Vodacom and @StandardBank (HL call centre). The lack of training and etiquette is clearly visible and the staff believe that they are doing the client a "favour" by assisting. How would you advise corporate's translate this article? ... Is it poor leadership? Lack of accountability from staff and management?
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2yI see these aspects in all my relationships. I did not think these would be present within a business. Thank you for enlightening me!
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2yWhat a succinct set of insights, Willem. It is the way we adapt the dynamic between me, you and us that determines the health and longevity of any relationship. There are a few of things which struck me while I was reading your article: 1. Not all relationships are meant to be for life. It is perfectly natural for people and businesses to change over time. To overcome the limiting belief "till death do us part" we can redefine "death" to mean the end of the relationship not the end of one of the partners. 2. The world around me, you and us is also constantly changing. Circumstances in the past that might have precipitated you and me coming together for business or romance might not be there today. And that's perfectly fine. 3. The interconnection between multiple relationships is often overlooked. We just look at the couple in isolation without considering how each party might be in relationships with others. How these relationships intersect determines the "weak ties" which bind human society and economy together. Dunbar's Number Theory and the principle of six degrees of separation are useful tools to evaluate relationship dynamics beyond just me, you and us.
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2yAs my Mentor you have taught me that my business reflects my life and that has had an impact on the evaluation of my relationship. This article sure makes me look forward to a refreshed dating space as I have worked hard to fix a business that was almost falling apart but now have worked on a better foundation which makes me a better dating candidate as well 😜