From making silly networking mistakes to building relationships.

So, I’ve done over 2,000 one-on-ones with people that I’ve been introduced to or met at various group meetings. It’s amazing the degree of silly approaches people take to building relationships. They ask questions at the very start like “Tell me about your ideal referral” or “what industries do you prefer to work with?”

This reminds me of the silly questions interviewers used to ask, like: “What are your greatest weaknesses”, or “if you were an animal what kind would you be?” The challenge with networking is, just like any other initial conversation it needs to be guided by caring and trust-building. That demands exploration to learn about the other person. And allowing them to learn about you.

I suggest the following conversation starters:

"Why do you do what you do?" It’s a way of asking “what are you passionate about?” Or perhaps “why did you choose to do THIS?” This is the Simon Sinek 'start with why' approach. It’s powerful.

You can also start with: “Tell me about the types of people you enjoy working/partnering with.” Or you can ask: "Who do you work well with and why?" If they are in business with a partner, ask how they met their partner. Did they grow up together, go to school together, work together in the past? What are their hobbies and interests? What do you do for fun?

If they live near you, you can strike up a conversation about local places they go to. I always like to ask if I see any clues if they own pets (I’m a dog lover!), if they have children/grandchildren, how long have they been living where they’re at…It’s getting to know them at a non-superficial level. In case you’re thinking: “I don’t mix business with pleasure”, with all due respect…that is silly.

I’m DISC personality assessment certified, so I always try to pick up on how they prefer to communicate by picking up on their verbal and non-verbal cues. I try to match them in their preferred style of communication to put them at ease. It’s called “mirroring” and research shows that doing this makes other people feel more comfortable. You’re meeting them at their preferred comfort level with their preferred style of communication.

How do you approach meetings with new people to build relationship and determine if you can forge a mutually beneficial relationship and do business together?

Ethan L. Chazin, MBA

Business Growth Strategist