Gift of 8 weeks

When someone finds out you are expecting a child, there's a list of questions you can expect. When is your wife due, what's the gender, are you excited, and my personal (not) favorite, what's the name of the child? A new question that I don't remember anyone asking me 6 years ago when we were expecting our first child, is what's your plan after the baby is born? This question came up quite often leading up to the birth of my second child, but one instance of it sticks out more then the rest.

Let me you give some back story. When we were expecting our first child 6 years ago, my only option was 1 week of paternity leave. Yes, just one week to bond with my expanding family. Just one week to transition from a home of no children to one with a child. Just one week to settle into the new norm of a 3 person family home. I was horrified by the thought of that so my wife and I came up with a plan. After the 1 week of paternity leave is over, I would alternate between paid time off and working from home for the next 3 weeks, and then return back to work full time afterwards. My boss approved of it. Fantastic, right!? Not so much. Looking back on those first 4 weeks home, I eventually realized I never really allowed myself to fully be home or at work. Maybe I'm being harsh on myself but ineffective is the word that comes to mind. 6 years brings change and opportunity, and I would not make the same mistake again.

A colleague of mine asked that burning question a few months back, and my response was, "I've applied for primary parental leave. I plan to exercise my company's full paid 8 weeks of leave as soon as my son arrives." Man, that response is so comforting, uplifting and direct every time I deliver it to someone that asks that question, but this time would be different. My colleague responded with a smirk and said, "8 weeks at home with your wife....all the time!?" My face went from proud to straight confused in less than a second. The vibe shifted drastically. I simply replied, "Yes" and then continued on my day.

Stumped. Confused. Befuddled. I felt all of it. How could that be someone's response? How could someone turn that positive option into such a negative thing? 8 weeks at home with my wife, my family? That is not a burden nor something I cringe at the thought of. It is a gift! 8 weeks at home with my best friend? Yes please. 8 weeks of being a part of my first born son and wife's morning routine. 8 weeks of being able to drop off my son at school and picking him up from after school with his scooter. 8 weeks of creating the new norm for my family of four! 8 weeks of binge watching Rick & Morty, Ozarck, Marvel's The Defenders, and Fear the Walking Dead. 8 weeks of getting to know my second born first hand and not through my wife's text updates. This is a gift that my family can all benefit from. It's the gift of time. It's the gift of presence.

This is the most relevant decision I've ever made and I look forward to the remaining 7 weeks of this gift.