Happy Father's Day
In less than 4 hours on the Saturday before this Father's Day the following occurred:
This is the opposite of what our lives were like a decade ago, when they were 7, 6, 5, and 1. Those were days of diapers, crawling all over us at all hours, snot, eye goobers, laughter, playdates, binkies covered in sand and hair, parks, endless sunscreen, RV trips, wonder and excitement, every meal around the table, and a constant togetherness.
Now it is late nights with friends, team sports, trying to download the app to pay for the overpriced team sports, trips to far off destinations, driving our cars into other cars, summer jobs, relationships and drama, begging for anyone to wear sunscreen, inside jokes, laughing about the past, thrift shopping, movie premieres of homemade blockbusters, seeing friends leave on missions, asking our kids to turn on "Find My Phone", and once in a while we all get to eat dinner together.
It is fascinating how different this stage is from back then.
They are all wonderful stages of life.
Time is passing by so quickly, it is terrifying to realize what will be in a decade from now, as we are together so little now, even living under the same roof...even though they are still children.
But if you ever want to see tears flood from my eyes, just have me look at photos of us when we were on a roadtrip packing these kids in a motorhome, recalling the absolute difficulty it was, and equally the greatest memories a dad can have in looking back on an epic adventure that was completely unreasonable, unaffordable, but knew must happen at that time or never would.
I'm so grateful we did what we did when we could.
No doubt the photos from this year will, in a decade, bring even more tears of gratitude and the question, "Daddy, why did you age so quickly?" To which I will respond, "Son, I'm not sure...but I know as teenagers you guys could have gotten full-time jobs as Navy Seal trainers with what you demanded we endure daily..."
I am thankful for a wife who holds this all together, is the steady hand and cool head in the joyful hurricane that is our every day and late nights.
I am still trying to find the balance between my natural disposition of disciplinarian (yes, for those who don't know me well, that is just how I am), and being a "fun dad", which is harder for me to be, despite Daddy Dinosaur quasi-fame and the like.
The Promise is to BE PRESENT.
To be ready when they are, to listen, and then listen more.
To talk when the timing is right...I'm still working on it.
To be ready for a hug or shoulder to cry on when needed.
I'm like a relief pitcher as a dad, who gets to come into the game if and when needed, but always ready to roll when asked, if asked at all.
I may save the game, or may pitch a flubber and watch them hit it out of the park, as I hang my head in shame. But I'm willing to play both roles, the hero or villain...I never expected it would be that way.
Equally, I'm the owner of the team, working hard to make the money and keep things going, who gets cheered or booed by those in the stadium, even for doing what I feel is best for the team. Mommy is the manager and coach, keeping all personalities in check, leading us to victory - thank goodness she's a great one!
I am just so grateful to be a Dad, even though it's crazy hard, crazy joyful, and the ultimate endurance test.
I have friends who have said they wouldn't subject bringing a child into this world, since it is so cruel and difficult. I understand that reasoning. I can also say there is and never has been anything more rewarding, terrifying, wonderful, and beautiful as bringing a child into this world.
I love being a Dad. I don't know if I'm a good one, although I know I was raised by a great one, and hope to carry that on, the effort & Promise is to BE PRESENT in a time of epic distraction and the game of vying for our attention.
As I say in my presentations:
PROMISE to keep making this effort to BE PRESENT, Listen & Learn.
Happy Father's Day to those who are both father figures as mentors, and leaders in the home to the precious little ones. May your day be filled with Promise and happiness. There is no greater joy than this, that of being a father, dad, and being a part of the lives of your favorite people.
~ Jason Hewlett
Husband, Father, Writer, Mentor, Hiker
Interactional Leadership & Resilience Expert * Motivational Speaker * Brain Tumor Survivor * Author of 4 Books * Champion Storyteller * Certified Business Coach & Consultant * Exactly What to Say Certified Guide *
1yJason Hewlett, CSP, CPAE Great article on the changing state of parenthood as children grow. I love your quote: "As quickly as you connect on a phone, you disconnect from your family." TRUTH. We have a cabin with no TV, radio, internet or the like. We used to sit up together and talk late into the night, but now, too often everyone sits alone, or in small groups, gathered around their dang phones. We are missing out on the connection we used to have and being held hostage by a 6 inch device. Great message, my friend!
On career break
1yEnjoyable read, thank you for sharing.
Marketing Director & Coach | Talking about Mindset, Marketing & Mastery
1yGreat story. Father of two. 4yr and 2yr. I feel time blazing past when I think of them as infants. 😊
Financial Adviser/Founder - Finstyle Planning Solutions
1yReally enjoyed this article, Jason Happy Father’s Day mate 😉
Speaker | Message Amplifier I Author I Creative Branding Strategist
1yJason, to the presents that presence provides… it becomes exponential the older our kids get. No matter their age, they are always watching and noticing. It is a true gift to have the intention of making them feel loved, seen and understood. I still recall seeing you with them last year at NSA Influence and even during that brief encounter as we were all getting food, the bond you all share was palpable. #ElevateEmpathy