High Five, it's Friday!

 The High Five is the Practus weekly newsletter that brings you some of our favorite legal (and occasionally illegal) news from the week.  Read this and be the most interesting person at Happy Hour.  Stay sharp, and have a great weekend!

FIRED DISNEY WORLD WORKER GOES VILLAIN ON MENUS 

A poor unfortunate soul, fired from Disney World, took things dangerously too Jafar to exact revenge. He has pleaded guilty to hacking Disney’s computer network to alter food menus for the parks. The changes were caught before they went into use, but they range from the Cruella to the Maleficent. He removed allergen warnings from dishes, changed the wine regions to mass shooting locations, added profanity and a swastika, and changed the fonts to Wingdings. For good measure he locked 14 employees out of their work accounts, causing mouseketears of frustration. Aside from being caught and facing prison time, Disney villains could learn a thing or two from him.  Scar for life, here… 

STAR TREK PLATES BEAM TRAFFIC TIX TO LEGALLY BLIND GRANDMA 

Failing eyesight forced an elderly Long Island Star Trek fan had to stop boldly going anywhere in her car five years ago. But she’s still getting traffic tickets – hundreds of them. It’s because of a vanity license plate she used to have – NCC 1701. For those of yuse who have lived lawng and prospered without Trekking, that’s the starship Enterprise. (Don’t start buggin’. She still loves Billy Joel.) You can buy fake versions of the plates online.  When motorists with those plates get snapped speeding or whatever, the OG gets the ticket. And trying to get the DMV in 24 states to call her back? Fuggheddaboutit. Thank gawd, a lawyer’s helping her now.  Phasers set to stun, here… 

NATIONAL POTHOLE DAY MOURNED IN BRITAIN 

This week, the UK celebrated National Pothole Day. Okay, maybe they didn’t celebrate it as much as bemoaned it over a cuppa.  A member of Britain’s Asphalt Industry Alliance says potholes have proliferated to an all-time high because of decades of underfunding. Road conditions have spawned an art movement of sorts. Frustrated locals have spray painted phallic images around the craters or gone for the subtle approach and written “HOLE VERY BIG” next to them. One man filled a pothole with pot noodles. See what he did there? But don’t expect these holey rollers to be mollified soon. Experts say it would cost nearly $20B to tackle the backlog of repairs.  Bumpy roads ahead, here… 

LOLLIPOP, LOLLIPOP, NOW ZIP IT MATE 

Elsewhere in the UK, a nightclub has a sweet solution for neighbors cheesed off about the noise late into the wee hours. Owners say they’ll hand out lollipops to clubbers as they’re leaving for the evening. Stick a lolli in em’ and the lads won’t squawk. It might sound daft but other clubs that have given lollipops to exiting revelers say it has been a life saver. The Lolli-gagging proposal emerged as the club sought permission to extend its hours. It also offered to complete some other noise-limiting measures. Neighbors worry the nightclub’s suckering them. But club owners swear that people licking lollies really do tend to be quiet.   Suck it up buttercup, here… 

BOSTON CREAM, A DUNKIN’ DREAM AMID SHORTAGE 

Bear claw with us. This one’s going to frost you. We know, because we are one of the pre-eminent practitioners of doughnut law around here. Dunkin’ has announced that several states have gaping doughnut holes in their inventory. That’s right, there’s a doughnut shortage at Dunkin’. A manufacturing error munchkined all the circles of deliciousness, forcing customers from Nebraska to New Mexico to leave with just – gasp! – coffee. Dunkin’ couldn’t say exactly how many sites were given “Dear Long John” letters, but it estimates 4 percent of its nearly 10K U.S. stores felt dough-nied.   Apple bitter, here… 

Which story will you be sharing at the next happy hour? Let us know in the comments!