How Constructive Feedback Can Turn You into a Rockstar

You’ve probably heard the saying that feedback is a gift. The intent behind this statement is that people who tell you how well or poorly you’re performing are giving you their opinion about something you need to know. Whether you accept the information is up to you. But if you are wise, you will explore the details and learn how you can use feedback as a tool to your advantage.

Topics in this Article:

• Constructive Feedback — what’s not acceptable
• LATTE — my beginner approach for receiving constructive feedback
• Evaluating Nuances — assessing the context to uncover unwritten rules

Good or Bad?

The first concern we must address is the notion of good and bad feedback. There is positive feedback, which we all love. Then there is constructive feedback. Most people view constructive feedback as bad, and I completely understand why. How you determine whether it's good or bad depends on who is delivering it and how it is delivered. But here is a different perspective to consider for how you classify good and bad feedback, starting with what constructive feedback is NOT.

Not Acceptable

For constructive feedback, which is already a delicate and potentially difficult task, let’s be clear about what is not acceptable. We’re not talking about rude, derogatory, disrespectful, condescending, or offensive comments, including microaggressions.

No one wants or will receive feedback in this manner. Further, if the person providing the feedback is truly interested in improving the quality of your behavior/performance and invested in your success, they will deliver it with care and respect. The goal for any feedback should be to either sustain great performance or inspire improved performance. Period.

Good Trouble

I had a situation early in my career where a stakeholder on a project routinely gave me constructive feedback. At first, I thought they had a personal vendetta against me. Later I realized that what I thought was bad, or namely constructive feedback, can be advantageous for growth leading to success.

After I got out of my own head and used the process I am sharing with you, I improved my performance and my brand. Taking the time to have a genuine conversation with my colleague about her concerns was the catalyst for my growth. We both learned that giving each other constructive feedback, and what people perceive as bad, helped fill the blind spots and made the project better. Even more, we built trust, and our professional relationship was strengthened.

AHA MOMENT: I learned that perception is truly reality and can make or break how others see us.

LATTE, Anyone?

If you are ready for a micro-course in receiving constructive feedback, let’s jump in. This beginner approach assumes you didn’t seek out the feedback, someone just felt compelled to share it.

Learning how to receive constructive feedback is a simple LATTE. No, not a drink, but a process that will make it easy for you to digest the information and determine whether you want to take action.

The first thing you should do though, is get a latte (drink), then learn the LATTE process:

• LISTEN — Be present and actively listen to what is being said. It can be difficult to hear words that are less than stellar about your behavior or performance, but this may be what you need to know to take you from mediocre to excellent.
• ASSESS — Be open and honest with yourself about what you are hearing. At this point, you are not agreeing or disagreeing with what is being said, you are simply taking it in and assessing your situation.
• THANK — Give gratitude to the person who provided the feedback. This lets them know that you heard what was said and will consider the information in a thoughtful way. Yes, “thank you” says all of that.
• TAKE (time) — “Take“ involves whatever is needed to digest the information. Take time, take a coffee break, take a walk, take a nap…you get it. Reflect on the conversation and ponder the information you were given. Journal your thoughts if this is helpful.
• EVALUATE — Before you decide on any action, evaluate the information. Although feedback is a suggestion, it could have consequences on your employment if it came from your manager and is based on where you are lacking in your performance.

Talk with your manager, a mentor, friend, or career coach about this situation before making a final decision on how you will respond.

Constructive Feedback: Evaluating Nuances

Whether the information you are given is relevant or irrelevant comes down to trust and perception. But there is also the larger environment which can influence the feedback:

• Putting the information in context can help you answer questions about the what, why, and how.
• Taking a deeper look at the environment allows you to see the nuances in the situation OR nuisances that can derail you.

In any case, being able to navigate the unwritten rules play a big part in creating your success.

If you are working hard to achieve your career goals, it makes sense to leverage constructive feedback as part of your development plan. Utilize it to explore ways you can enhance your performance and develop a positive personal brand. Choosing a bold step to use the constructive feedback to your advantage can take your performance from mediocre to rockstar!

And this is why we say feedback is a gift. You learn something new about yourself and continue to grow on your journey. So, when you think life is giving you lemons, make a lemon drop martini (mock tail or cocktail), your choice!

If you found this information useful, please "like" my post and share with your colleagues. And whatever you do, keep learning!

~Stacey

Stacey Young Rivers, Ph.D. is a talent development leader with expertise in developing strategies to close skills gaps, build talent pipelines, and create internal career mobility models. Dr. Rivers is also a mom, author , and researcher .