How Women Can Get Better at Self-Promotion (and Why We MUST)

A recent study confirms something that you probably already knew: Women are a lot less likely to self-promote than men are.

"Our research design allows us to say that even when a woman knows she answered 15 out of 20 questions correctly on a task and a man knows he answered 15 out of 20 questions correctly on a task, the woman is more likely to describe her performance less favorably than the man," Christine L. Exley, the study's co-author and a behavioral economist and assistant professor at Harvard Business School, said in an interview.

Exley adds that confidence (or a lack of it) doesn't explain the gender gap in self-promotion. Instead, it might be that "women are more averse to engaging in self-promotion, perhaps because of societal pressures or expectations," she said.

This is important information, because women's discomfort with self-promotion can keep us from obtaining the promotions, pay raises and higher-profile projects we want. So as we celebrate women's achievements during Women's History Month, one of the most powerful things you can do is learn to spread the word about your achievements. And today I want to give you a guide to do doing just that.

Self-Promotion IS NOT Selfish

To get you moving in the right direction, let's talk about three common roadblocks to self-promotion and how to move past them.

1. “My good work will speak for itself. I don’t have time for these games.”

I can’t tell you how often I hear this phrase. It’s usually from talented individuals who do great work but detest political games.

If this sounds like you, recognize that most people are way too busy to notice all the ways you add value — even if they want to. I’m guessing that your boss has several direct reports, her own boss and other key stakeholders who demand her time and attention. On top of that, she has her own goals to meet and distractions to manage. How much time does that really leave her to focus on you?

So, it’s up to YOU to make it happen — to take the initiative to give visibility to your work, to get recognized for your contributions and open up new possibilities for yourself. Your good work alone won’t get you there — and you can’t win at a game that you won’t even play. Start by making a decision to get in the game.

2. “I don’t want to come across as obnoxious or full of myself.”

No one likes to listen to someone whose head can barely fit in the door. Yes, we’ve all met at least one of those people in our lives! The good news is that those negative experiences can give us clues about what NOT to do.

So, if you don’t want to come across as arrogant, think about how you do want to show up. To get started, come up with three words to describe the type of impression you’d like to leave about yourself when you are telling others about your accomplishments. If you have already defined your personal brand, use that as context as well.

Remember that having clarity about the imprint you want to leave on others will help you develop strategies that work for you.

3. “I’m bad at it. I just don’t know how to do it.”

You’re not alone if you feel this way! The secret is to think about how you can share information about your results and accomplishments in a way that is relevant and helpful to others.

I’ll give you two examples to think about. First, consider that someone else in the company may be faced with a challenge similar to what you just successfully overcame. By taking the time to share what you did and how you did it, you can help them tremendously.

Second, keep in mind that your boss has to make decisions about your performance, pay and development (to ensure that you can continue to contribute to the company’s goals). Providing information to her on a regular basis will allow her to make those decisions easily, and will serve you and the company well. Remember that she will be held accountable for your results.

Finally, to give you more clues about how to tastefully self- promote, look for others around you who do it well. Simply notice what they do and say. You may find that you can adapt some of their strategies to fit your own style.

Want to learn more about authentic and strategic self-promotion? I have an entire module dedicated to this topic in my award-winning WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance Program.℠