I Was Honest About My Mental Health, and the World Didn't End

As I sit here now writing this, I can feel the fear bubbling up inside. I am a millennial raised by boomer parents and I was raised to believe that mental health was private. It was nobody’s business. No one would outwardly call it “shameful” but in any regard I grew up believing that my mental health had no place in my career. In fact, I believed it could only hurt it.

I have struggled with mental health for nearly 20 years now. And this is the end of the secrets, the shame, and the silence.

I just returned to work recently after taking 3 months of FMLA leave to get serious about my mental health and wellbeing. It was hands-down the biggest “risk” I have taken in my career. Many of the messages I heard as I shared this decision are likely the same ones crossing the minds of those reading: what about bills, everyone will know your business, people will talk, I would NEVER share something like this with my employer. I had the same thoughts. Even at this moment I am having doubts about whether I will ever publish this—once the cat’s outta the bag, there’s no putting it back in.

But then I think beyond myself. To those struggling in shame and silence, and I know. I know what that is like, and I know how much it would’ve meant to me to see someone stand up and be honest about their struggles at work. So here I am, and if you are struggling, here is your sign you are not alone.

It’s cliché to say, but it is very true that when you are in the depths of the darkness of depression, you lose the ability to believe anyone else could possibly feel so empty, so numb. Depression is not the same as sadness. Comparing the two is like comparing a tsunami to waves in a pool. Depression is beyond sadness, its nothingness. You lose the ability to feel life; the good and the bad.

So, here are some things I learned as I took time to put myself first for maybe the first time in my life:

·        If you don’t take a break, your body will force you to

·        Mental health is just as important as physical health and the two impact each other

·        You have the right to share your story, or not – going out on FMLA doesn’t mean everyone has to know why

·        It’s easy to feel supported when you feel on top of your game, but those who support you at your lowest moments, those are the people worth keeping close. Also, companies that support you as their employee when you are struggling, those are companies who care about their staff and value you as an individual

·        Stop filling your cup to give to others (the old ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’)—fill your cup for you and let others have the overflow

I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time to thank some individuals that have shown true compassion and support over the last several months: Diane C. Russell , Alexander Rowe , Amy Feldman , Catie Leahy , Morgan Simms , Lizzie Hobson , Ryan Miller , Bernadette Clark , and my employer The Judge Group . You all played a part in giving me the strength to address this health issue without making me worried about losing my job.

So, I encourage you all to do one thing: talk about it. Mental health doesn’t “look” a certain way. I think one of the greatest illustrations of this was a video shared online for World Mental Health Day while I was on leave by the British Premier League team Norwich City. It is one of the most accurate depictions of mental health I have seen in a PSA. You can check it out here. (TW: suicide)

Check in on the people around you, especially this time of year when there are surges in seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and many find the holiday season hard to cope with.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please know you are not alone. Millions of people suffer with mental health challenges worldwide. Here are some people that can help:

·        The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 988 or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor who can provide support and information.

·        The SAMHSA National Helpline: Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to connect with a confidential, 24-hour, 365-day-a-year information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

·        The Trevor Project: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678 to connect with a counselor who can offer support and resources for LGBTQ youth.